Guys, guys! Listen! You've got it all wrong!
I just got back from the future, and this happened.
"Oh... and one more thing. I know many of you have been wondering, with a name like Apple, why haven't we come out with any food products? Well let's take a look at the utensil industry.
[slide appears with 2 forks and 2 chopsticks]
Here are some of the leading utensils on the market today. They both get the job done ehh, fairly well. Fairly well, not great. Just ok. But they also take up a lot of space and can be difficult to handle at times. On top of that, you have to switch utensils when you want to eat something they don't work with.
We noticed the market needed something new. Something smaller. Something that could pick up anything, but be simple and elegant.
Well we got tired of waiting around for that to come up, so we went ahead and made it ourselves.
It's called the iEat. And here it is!
[shows the iEat]
Side view... that's the top... bottom... other side, and front again.
[crowd goes insane with amazement, some people are throwing their chair up in the air]
Simple, elegant, and fits in any pocket for easy travel! Just push the sleep/wake button and it's ready to go! It adjusts itself in strength, number of prongs, or you can even have it prongless, like a chopstick! Now I'll show you how it works.
[Steve starts eating]
Isn't that great? Now I'm eating some rice, but let's say I want have some soup right after. I just put the iEat over the soup, wait for about a second, it just takes a second for it to recognize the food, and boom! Now you're ready to eat the soup! Look at that! Changes right before your eyes!
And it works great for any kind of food. Not only that, it works on Windows too! Just sync it up to iTunes and it takes care of the rest, uploading the different kinds of food you can eat right to your iEat!
And it's available today."
Wow!