Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

[Jaffa Cake]

how could guests ever eat at that house again without wondering about the dinner knives?

To be honest, I'd be more worried about exactly what the guy was serving up...

 

[macOSX-tastic]

sorry....no...that....is...just.....wrong......

ewww, horrible.

stuff like that makes me cringe.

S

 

[Electro Funk]

did you ever hear about the two hillbillys driving behind lorena bobbit when she threw john bobbits severed penis out of the car window? it flew threw the air and bounced off of their windshield and the first hillbilly said what the heck was that? the second one said i dont know but did you see the size of the D*** on that bug?

BA DUM BUM...

 

[StarbucksSam]

This is amusing on a few levels:

He chopped it off...
He threw it away...
They put it BACK ON.

 

[cb911]

how could guests ever eat at that house again without wondering about the dinner knives?

how could you ever eat at that house wondering if you'd be providing extra sausages for the meal?

 

[princealfie]

isn't the penile element like a gun nowadays?

 

[Counterfit]

isn't the penile element like a gun nowadays?

If you train properly.

 

[redAPPLE]

So do I...I mean mine, of course...not yours...I don't actually know yours.

and it's brokeback all together again, no wildcowboy? <j/k>

 

[redAPPLE]

at least he got the balls to cut it off.

 

[WildCowboy]

and it's brokeback all together again, no wildcowboy? <j/k>

Yee-hah!

Keeping with the theme of the thread, has everybody heard about this one by now? That's my idea of fun.

 

[neut]

wow but i have a gun, and a gun beats a a penis

Is that like paper rock scissors?

Gun beats penis > Penis beats officer > Officer beats gun?


peace | neut

 

[Electro Funk]

Is that like paper rock scissors?

Gun beats penis > Penis beats officer > Officer beats gun?


peace | neut

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Holy Schnikies was that funny.... And what a horrible visual!

Ok... a Quick game of Gun Penis Officer to see who wins.... ready? GO!

 

[hookahco]

Actually, throwing your own penis at police officers is a brilliant legal maneuver. Basically, this guy knew he was going away for a while, so he acted. Any officer who was hit by the flying phallus is now guilty of sexual harrassment. The Chicago PD will be begging this guy not to take THEM to court!

no.. the police officer is not guilty of anything. the man caused his penis to touch a police officer, therefore, the officer is not guilty of anything.

 

[Jaffa Cake]

no.. the police officer is not guilty of anything. the man caused his penis to touch a police officer, therefore, the officer is not guilty of anything.

I agree. I don't think it'll stand up in court.

 

[flyfish29]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Holy Schnikies was that funny.... And what a horrible visual!

Ok... a Quick game of Gun Penis Officer to see who wins.... ready? GO!

GUN...sorry, I just can't see myself throwing my penis at just anyone!

 

[jadekitty24]

Ok, seriously, I love penis as much as the next gal, but to have one thrown at me would kind of suck. I mean, once one is thrown at you (probably not looking as tasty as it could) would you ever look at a penis the same? Of course, this is coming from a female perspective.

 

[Counterfit]

Ok, seriously, I love penis as much as the next gal,...(probably not looking as tasty as it could)

Will you marry me?

 

[Pistol Pete]

What a dick.

hah nice one...

 

[EvlTdy]

The physics?

How aerodynamic can a dick be? I mean, sure, I throw mine all over the place, but...

 

[Shotglass]

So how many of you guys crossed your legs when you read that subject line?

Me. I crossed my legs 14 times when reading the whole thread.

Gaaah, what's wrong with that guy? I'd never throw my penis at anybody....it's too special

 

[cb911]

yeah. and you only get one and it's got to last your entire lifetime.

 

[jsw]

yeah. and you only get one and it's got to last your entire lifetime.

That's why I'm glad mine is detachable. That way, I can keep it stored safely away until needed.

 

[riciad]

Well, I saw this thread title when it first started and never clicked on it. Tonight as I'm very busy trying to avoid working I'm reading all the threads that came up in new posts and I'm glad I did.

This

I agree. I don't think it'll stand up in court.

gave me the best laugh I've had in weeks!

 

[Applespider]

That's why I'm glad mine is detachable. That way, I can keep it stored safely away until needed.

Alarmingly, that song is in my iTunes collection... I'm not a big King Missile fan but that, Cheesecake Truck and Jesus was way cool - are always good for a laugh.

 

[vniow]

Ok, seriously, I love penis as much as the next gal,

[...]

Of course, this is coming from a female perspective.

This gal is more inclined to like ones like these:

That's why I'm glad mine is detachable.