Money & Friends Don't Mix.

[Healer Flame]

Lending money or any other valuable goods to family & friends can cost you both the money and your friends if proper agreements/contracts did not take place.

Over years i lost around $2500 cash to 3 people and an organ worth $500 that was borrowed by a friend and never got it back.
I also lost valuable books, Cds and other stuff because people are just careless and selfish so hard lesson learned but never never again.

Seriously people, if someone lent you money or an item , the least you can do is appreciate and return it on time without causing embarrassment and tensions.

How common is it? Did you lend anything to someone and never got it back or are you guilty of one? Honest answers please.

 

[AngerDanger]

$500 that was borrowed by a friend and never got it back.

Yeah, I'm always loaning friends my kidneys, liver, and spleen, and I'll be damned if I ever get them back on time if at all.

 

[Mousse]

As Willy the Bard wrote:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

Translated: If you lend money, you'll lose both the money and the friend you lent the money to. If you borrow money, you become a spend thrift.

Edit: My neighbor asked to borrow a trash bag the other day. I looked at him incredulously and asked, "You're gonna give it back? I don't want it back."

 

[Healer Flame]

My B.I.L borrowed a very rare book from 1920' i got from special place in Europe and he carelessly gave it to his manager despite a promise. We didn't talk for 8 months.

 

[Apple fanboy]

If I have a friend in genuine need I give them some money if it seems appropriate.

But lend? No I don’t need to do that.

I also don’t borrow from anyone (including credit cards). Not my style.

 

[velocityg4]

I never borrow stuff.

I'll only lend stuff I'm willing to part with as a gift. That way there is no ill will if it is never returned or reimbursed.

 

[trillionaire]

Too many people have learned this lesson the hard way ... myself included. It stings even more when they become a totally different person afterward. It's like you never really knew them to begin with.

 

[Healer Flame]

If I have a friend in genuine need I give them some money if it seems appropriate.

But lend? No I don’t need to do that.

I also don’t borrow from anyone (including credit cards). Not my style.

If the person has genuine reason

If I have a friend in genuine need I give them some money if it seems appropriate.

But lend? No I don’t need to do that.

I also don’t borrow from anyone (including credit cards). Not my style.

People usually very shy asking for money so they borrow instead give away. I don't mind giving people money as long as they have genuine problem but of course if the amount is in hundreds i expect they give it back when things get better for them.

Some are selfish, suddenly they are angels and a lot nicer until they get what they want and then they go hiding.

 

[Healer Flame]

Too many people have learned this lesson the hard way ... myself included. It stings even more when they become a totally different person afterward. It's like you never really knew them to begin with.

They put you in uncomfortable situation where you have to beg for your money back. Really piss you off. I know someone who owes many people over $30 000 in total but drives a $49 000 car and wears only designers clothes.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Yeah, I'm always loaning friends my kidneys, liver, and spleen, and I'll be damned if I ever get them back on time if at all.

But, @AngerDanger, what enquiring minds want to know is simply this: Did you ever loan anyone your heart?

And, if so, was it returned, broken or otherwise?

 

[0388631]

Based on @AngerDanger's posts, a friend who once used this forum. Sorry, Anger.

My personal motto is never loan money out unless you don't expect to get paid back.

 

[AngerDanger]

But, @AngerDanger, what enquiring minds want to know is simply this: Did you ever loan anyone your heart?

And, if so, was it returned, broken or otherwise?

C'mon, Scribe. Don't act like you don't know, and don't bring this up in the forums of all places!

Not after all we've been through—I thought what we had was…

It's listed on eBay. For parts only.

 

[MacNut]

Based on @AngerDanger's posts, a friend who once used this forum. Sorry, Anger.

My personal motto is never loan money out unless you don't expect to get paid back.

Doesn't that then become a donation?

 

[0388631]

Doesn't that then become a donation?

No? Because with a donation, traditionally you get to write it off. You don't get paid back, but you can claim the amount on taxes. Same effect, to a point.

 

[Apple fanboy]

If the person has genuine reason


People usually very shy asking for money so they borrow instead give away. I don't mind giving people money as long as they have genuine problem but of course if the amount is in hundreds i expect they give it back when things get better for them.

Some are selfish, suddenly they are angels and a lot nicer until they get what they want and then they go hiding.

I think we have different types of friends.

 

[keysofanxiety]

But, @AngerDanger, what enquiring minds want to know is simply this: Did you ever loan anyone your heart?

And, if so, was it returned, broken or otherwise?

AD’s what’s known as a heartbreaker, not a heart giver.

*sniff*

I’VE GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE

 

[eyoungren]

I don't lend out anything that is important to me that I intend to keep.

If I give it out, I don't expect it back. Whether that's money or anything else.

If it's something I do expect back, like letting a neighbor borrow a hose or a tool, it's not my best tool or only item and I don't expect it back in the condition I gave it in - because people don't treat my stuff like I treat it.

The only person I ever ask to borrow money from is my mother. My dad will say no, my sister can't or would charge high interest. My mother never expects it back. I don't ask from people I know would expect it back - because I'm never in the spot to pay it back.

If I borrow something from someone I treat it better than my own stuff. Because it's not mine and I have to give it back. And I don't want to have to explain why it's not in the condition they gave it to me in.

 

[Healer Flame]

If I give it out, I don't expect it back. Whether that's money or anything else.

I guess it depends how large it is and who the person is. Parents are excepted of course, happy to give my parents anything and everything they desire and never expected it back.

 

[eyoungren]

I guess it depends how large it is and who the person is. Parents are excepted of course, happy to give my parents anything and everything they desire and never expected it back.

For me, it doesn't matter how large. I'm not in the spot to give out large sums. I'm not even in the spot to give out small sums.

If and when I am, the person needing it doesn't need the idea in the back of their mind that they need to pay it back. That's a stressor. And I don't need the stress of trying to recoup the loan.

We've loaned money out before and gotten it back, generally to my wife's side of the family. But that's only because they wanted to pay it back. I never asked and I didn't expect it to come back.

I just don't need the hassle of money between me and the other person. So, if I am giving money I do not expect it to be returned.

That said, I have been told I am tightfisted, so there's that.

 

[2984839]

I never lend to friends and family; I give and don't expect it back. Not worth the drama.

 

[Healer Flame]

Years ago my father (before he passed away) lent a digital short wave radio, a special printed dictionary in certain language and a book to some our relatives and never got it back.

I remember he was talking about it a lot but felt uncomfortable to ask for it.

A close relative asked me to borrow my brand new suite (Made in Germany ) for his brothers wedding so i couldn't say no. Of course he can afford a suite but he really liked the style and colour of it so i just told him to keep it.

I guess its normal and acceptable in some cultures and communities but not everywhere.
[doublepost=1564013053][/doublepost]I am always happy to help but sometimes its good to say no to avoid stress and tensions.

 

[Gutwrench]

I keep my money because I have no friends and all my family are in jail or dead. Except for my sister who I had committed.

 

[chown33]

I keep my money because I have no friends and all my family are in jail or dead. Except for my sister who I had committed.

If you were to write that up as a step-by-step plan and publish it on Amazon, I'd buy a copy.

Maybe.

 

[Gutwrench]

If you were to write that up as a step-by-step plan and publish it on Amazon, I'd buy a copy.

Maybe.

Are you trying to be my friend?

 

[0388631]

I keep my money because I have no friends and all my family are in jail or dead. Except for my sister who I had committed.

I've seen you before. You don't look like Larry Ellison.