So I got my kids Iphone 4g's for christmas (I am such a nice guy) I have been having problems with my oldest and I took away her cell phone. She had the phone passcoded and with the issues I have been having I tried to snoop in her phone but can not get past the passcode screen, and now it says connect to itunes. Is there a way for me to restore her phone without loosing all of her info. I am sure she has it backed up but I do not want her to know I was trying to spy. I have read many posts and know I can restore it from my computer but she will loose all the info, and she keeps her computer with her all the time.
Got a tip for us?
Let us know
Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.
my daughter will be mad
- Thread starter emt000828
- Start date
- Sort by reaction score
Why spy in the first place? You're expecting to dig up some dirt. What happens if you actually do? Would you be willing to hold that in? Just save yourself the headache and don't invade her privacy.
If you restore it from your computer she will lose all her songs maybe apps and she will know you restored her phone because when you give it back everything will be missing.
Like above the best thing to do is just be honest and you shouldn't snoop on your kids that's how you lose their trust and she'll never trust to tell you anything again.
Like above the best thing to do is just be honest and you shouldn't snoop on your kids that's how you lose their trust and she'll never trust to tell you anything again.
Could someone point out where he asked for parenting advice? I don't see it.
Though, TBH, I always forget the number of perfect people that frequent MR.
losing her trust could be very damaging for your future relationship with her ... you already seem like you have learned a lesson.
so you could break the phone by accident ... say you are sorry for being a klutz and buy her a new one ... then stay out of her personal things because she is almost old enough where soon her life will her business only.
so you could break the phone by accident ... say you are sorry for being a klutz and buy her a new one ... then stay out of her personal things because she is almost old enough where soon her life will her business only.
Depends how you want to do this.
1) Demand her to tell you the password
2) don't lose her trust (like others have posted).
1) Demand her to tell you the password
2) don't lose her trust (like others have posted).
Not too be immature or anything, but, my parents are very very strict and they do not even do that. They set boundaries, but they will not go into my phones, it doesn't gain trust, period.
The issue is can I restore the phone. I am snooping through the phones because my kid's actions have warranted me to snoop. The reason they got them taken away is due to trust issues and issues with their behavior. I do not feel bad about wiping her phone out completely, I was just curious if there was a way around it. Her passcode is no good b/c I can nopt enter it into the phone. They refuse to give me their codes and that is going to prolong how long they do not have a phone for. I am still looking for a way to unlock the phones so I can get the info out of them. They will not get them back till that is done. I have told them that I am going to look through their phones and I got a smart mouth remarks about the passcode. Anybody have any idea how I can get the info out? if I do not get the code from them by tomorrow I am taking their lap tops anyway. those they can not lock since I am the admin on them.
You know that it's illegal to snoop in other peoples private files (even if it's you daughter). How would you react when you daugther had been reading your emails while you were at work or something?
Actually, if his daughter is young enough to where the phone can be taken away, there is the simple fact that he is liable for what she does, especially with that phone. Kids can get into a lot of trouble these days even with "dumb" phones - a smartphone like the 4? Lot more trouble you can get into. And as a parent he'd have the right - especially if the daughter doesn't have a job and isn't pay anything for the phone.
You can try contacting your carrier - they might be able to get you copies of the texts lately.
I don't know what kind of trouble your daughter is in, and I'm afraid I can't help you - but I wanted to point this out to others that have kids under 18 with smartphones, dumbphones, or anything at all - even a laptop in their room. I'm no parent yet, and probably won't be all that soon, but I did grow up with a number of computers, and managed to make have a personal cellphone during my high school years. (It -did- have texting, but I never opted into that service as I thought it was too big a pain!)
Teenagers.. like to keep things from their parents. Sometimes the planets align and you don't have that much trouble. A computer in the family room is one thing because you can walk by and get a gist of what's going on - it might lead to some 50 year old freak in Oklahoma hitting on them, but that's about it. Right?
A computer in their bedroom.. a little more private. Still, a desktop and a network that you can log/keep an eye on.. not that much to be worried about.
Laptops can make it into locked rooms, and bathrooms, and what have you, but it's pretty damn obvious, and laptops only go as far as wifi goes.
Cell phones, are sneaky little devices that are independent, and can be locked - it sounds like the OP's daughter set her phone to auto-wipe after a few wrong code attempts. In other words, the info you want? It's already been wiped so you'll need to get a little bit 31337 h4xx0r.
Ultimately, the root of all problems isn't that these forms of communication are available, but the behavior involved that causes them to be misused.
That said, I don't understand why a teenager needs text messaging or even anything outside of a small minute bucket to keep in touch with family.
Teenagers.. like to keep things from their parents. Sometimes the planets align and you don't have that much trouble. A computer in the family room is one thing because you can walk by and get a gist of what's going on - it might lead to some 50 year old freak in Oklahoma hitting on them, but that's about it. Right?
A computer in their bedroom.. a little more private. Still, a desktop and a network that you can log/keep an eye on.. not that much to be worried about.
Laptops can make it into locked rooms, and bathrooms, and what have you, but it's pretty damn obvious, and laptops only go as far as wifi goes.
Cell phones, are sneaky little devices that are independent, and can be locked - it sounds like the OP's daughter set her phone to auto-wipe after a few wrong code attempts. In other words, the info you want? It's already been wiped so you'll need to get a little bit 31337 h4xx0r.
Ultimately, the root of all problems isn't that these forms of communication are available, but the behavior involved that causes them to be misused.
That said, I don't understand why a teenager needs text messaging or even anything outside of a small minute bucket to keep in touch with family.
Their loss.
Make sure they understand you are the higher person.
They'll give in eventually, once you make it clear that they need to listen to you.
Take their laptops!
After reading your latest post ... you can now kiss away any relationship you were hoping to savage with your kids.
they most likely are just wishing you would leave them alone and quit snooping into their personal lives.
I hope it works out better for you ... because this path has been taken by many parents and teenagers ... in a lot of the cases, this is where the drifting apart starts.
good luck ... I hope you reach some common ground
All i can suggest is get her computer, especially if you bought it to resync the iPhone.
I don't get how any can criticize you, the parent that you're invading your daughters privacy. Yu bought the phone, your house, your daughter your rules...wtf kind of entitlement do these people think kids have over their parents regardless.
I don't get how any can criticize you, the parent that you're invading your daughters privacy. Yu bought the phone, your house, your daughter your rules...wtf kind of entitlement do these people think kids have over their parents regardless.
All i can suggest is get her computer, especially if you bought it to resync the iPhone.
I don't get how any can criticize you, the parent that you're invading your daughters privacy. Yu bought the phone, your house, your daughter your rules...wtf kind of entitlement do these people think kids have over their parents regardless.
I completely agree!
I don't think taking away their laptops will do ANY good at all. IMO worst thing you could do, as others have said. I'm all for semi-strict parenting, but I can see big trouble happening if you take away their Facebook/MySpace/internet/homework/pictures/music. Personally, I've always thought the "my house, my rules" thing is a horrible, bullish way of parenting (when you start applying it to privacy anyway). My father goes by those rules even now and.....it's really not the way to go (I'm 23).
Methinks you have to be honest with your daughter though - the data sounds like it's been wiped anyway, so you might as well restore the phone via iTunes on her laptop (say you need it for an hour or something, and in return she gets the phone back). Remember - middle ground!
Good luck!
Methinks you have to be honest with your daughter though - the data sounds like it's been wiped anyway, so you might as well restore the phone via iTunes on her laptop (say you need it for an hour or something, and in return she gets the phone back). Remember - middle ground!
Good luck!
a lot of you are really really dumb, like insanely dumb, retarded even. You have no idea what is going on with this person's family, yet you come in here giving advice on how to be a parent and what he or she shouldn't do. Shut up, all of you, most of you probably don't even have kids and are mad at your parents for doing exactly what this person is doing. What if his kids are doing drugs? O let them be junkies just don't invade their personal space, this kind of stuff comes with being a parent and it is your JOB to know what they are doing and to PROTECT them.
as for helping the op out, sorry I can't
just my .02 cents
as for helping the op out, sorry I can't
just my .02 cents
You need to learn some manners yourself and not be spewing your 2 cents when you have nothing to add.
FYI ... snooping through your children's personal things is a proven method of driving a wedge that may not be repairable.
There are better ways to handle these situations than choosing one that will alienate your kids from you and removing any foundation of a parent/child relationship that may have been there
I love it! Children have privacy settings on iPhone = THEY'RE JUNKIES BAN THIS SILK FILTH RAR RAR.
As some of the more perceptive posters might have noticed, a lot of people are posting advice to OP because we lived through having a bloody parent/relative that did the same thing. It just doesn't work if you use authority as an excuse to invade their privacy. It doesn't work and it will make it much, much worse. Thankfully, there are much better, but less travelled routes to a happier children/parent relationship.