My guy friend likes me but I don’t like him back, what do I do?

[Abstract]

Omg, we're actually witnessing the infamous friendzone from a feminine point of view!

What I can tell is, living with false hopes for a long time is worse than having a "slap on the face" once. I'm the kind of guy that can get "obsessed" by a girl for long periods of time. Not obsessed in the sense of stalking, but rather by not moving along when realizing that there is no way this can develop into a romantic relationship. I feel like there is some hope, but in the end nothing happens, so it would just be better to have the certitude that no, she is not interested, so I would move along.

(Some of you might wonder why I didn't ask her out, it's because I knew she would say no. I guess I didn't want to face the cold hard truth.)

So true. Eventually, every guy gets stuck in a rut like the one described above occasionally.



The main thing is knowing when to give up so that you don't waste years daydreaming about her, even when you know she's not interested, or even after she has rejected any hints you have sent in her direction.

I liked a number of girls in the past, and I thought they liked me as well because they were really nice with me, or nice and flirty.

Eventually, you realize that she isn't nice to you because she's interested, but because she's a nice person. Or she's flirty when near you because she's flirty with the guy friends that she feels secure around, and not because she likes you.




OP: You may be stringing your friend along unintentionally.



EDIT TO ADD: And then I read the entire thread and realized that this has been mentioned like 20 times already.

 

[Merkava_4]

Really? 90% of my friends are female.

You must be one of those curved guys then.

 

[Grey Beard]

I just gotta ask.

Is there any kind of attraction?

Yeah, magnetic, she's got a metal plate in her head and he has a pacemaker.

KGB

 

[Bernard SG]

OP: Why are you worrying about it if he hadn't told you likes you?

 

[Tomorrow]

Straight Men and Women can't really be friends. Eventually something WILL have to give.

Or maybe you meant "straight men and women can't really be friends"?

Precisely. The prospect of sex has to be completely off the table...which only truly happens if one of them plays for the other team.

You sound so cynical, I don't know if you're fronting for something, trying to make waves, or if you're just blissfully ignorant.

I'm straight, and I have more female friends than male friends. One of my best friends in the world is female, she and I have been close for about 15 years now. She was there for me during my divorce so many years ago, and she and my current wife are great friends, as well.

 

[ericrwalker]

Am I the only one that finds it odd that someone's first post to MR is such a topic? Kind of odd to me. There are probably so many social forums out there, but instead here at a Mac Rumors forum.

 

[juanm]

My advice is to have sex him with him, several times, and at the same time make it clear you don't want to be in a relationship...
Oh, and make it amazing, don't be afraid to try new things, and whatever he asks, say yes.

The reasoning behind it is that once he gets what he wanted, he'll lose interest. Hopefully. Or not. Any way, he'll thank me.

 

[Aragornii]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woySeSNBL3o

Am I the only one that finds it odd that someone's first post to MR is such a topic? Kind of odd to me. There are probably so many social forums out there, but instead here at a Mac Rumors forum.

 

[UlsterApple]

He hasn't told me that he liked me yet. He's close to one of my friends and he tells her everything and through her, I know what's going on in his mind.

You hope.
A male senior manager at my work, a great mate, tells me he told a female senior manager that my greatest wish was to bend her over her desk and have mad passionate sex with her but only if she wore stockings and suspenders and kept her suit jacket on. I haven't looked her straight in the face since.
You HOPE you know what's really going on in his mind...

 

[wpotere]

Guess I am one of those weird guys that has plenty of female friends and a wife.

If you are mature then yes, you can be friends with women. I have been doing it since high school.

As for the OP, not talking about it is the elephant in the room but sadly if either side lacks maturity the relationship with fail either way. Best to openly talk about it and let him know that nothing will ever happen.

 

[GoCubsGo]

You sound so cynical, I don't know if you're fronting for something, trying to make waves, or if you're just blissfully ignorant.

I'm straight, and I have more female friends than male friends. One of my best friends in the world is female, she and I have been close for about 15 years now. She was there for me during my divorce so many years ago, and she and my current wife are great friends, as well.

Yeah but both you and your wife are mature adults. The statement should be that immature straight men and women cannot be friends.

OP: what advise were you hoping to get from a mac forum?

 

[wpotere]

OP: what advise were you hoping to get from a mac forum?

How to reboot her relationship...

 

[alphaod]

Tell him you're uncomfortable with being romantically involved with him… if he's a real man he'll know to back off and won't be offended.

I'm speaking from experience here of course… cause I always get rejected and I'm a real man.

 

[calvol]

Don't say anything, just give friendship signals, such as:
- handshakes instead of hugs
- meet up only in public places
- non-romantic meetups, sports or such

He'll figure it out.

 

[roadbloc]

Straight Men and Women can't really be friends. Eventually something WILL have to give.

+1. Seen it happen many times and its happened to myself. OP, if things do work out somehow, let us know how it was managed.

 

[wpotere]

+1. Seen it happen many times and its happened to myself. OP, if things do work out somehow, let us know how it was managed.

The problem with this situation is that one side is already beyond pulling back. Once that happens it will hard to get back to being friends.

 

[renewed]

The problem with this situation is that one side is already beyond pulling back. Once that happens it will hard to get back to being friends.

Humans do not react well to rejection, especially in relationships. IMO they will never be as close as they once were and eventually distance out unless there are mutual friends.

 

[dukebound85]

Straight Men and Women can't really be friends. Eventually something WILL have to give.

What on earth are you talking about?

I have many female friends where it is strictly platonic and has been that way for years

 

[Bonch]

What on earth are you talking about?

I have many female friends where it is strictly platonic and has been that way for years

He said STRAIGHT men.

 

[Caliber26]

My advice is to have sex him with him, several times, and at the same time make it clear you don't want to be in a relationship...
Oh, and make it amazing, don't be afraid to try new things, and whatever he asks, say yes.

The reasoning behind it is that once he gets what he wanted, he'll lose interest. Hopefully. Or not. Any way, he'll thank me.

I agree. Jump right into bed with him and help yourself to some mind-blowing encounters. It'll satiate some of his desires and you'll walk away with a few good rounds of sex under your belt. Some of the best sex I've ever had has been with people I cannot stand or had no attraction for.

 

[MovieCutter]

Straight Men and SINGLE Women can't really be friends. Eventually something WILL have to give.

Fixed that for ya. Maybe it varies from guy to guy, but a lot of my best female friends are attractive and married, and we get along fine with no sexual tension whatsoever.

 

[Hellhammer]

I have many female friends where it is strictly platonic and has been that way for years

So do I. Just because I'm a male doesn't mean that I want to sleep with every woman on this planet.

 

[Shrink]

While I think it is possible for straight men and women to have a friendship, it is ONLY under the condition that neither one has romantic feelings toward the other. If one feels romantically toward the other, the "I can I've with it" statement on the part of the one with the romantic feelings really means "I'll stick around, and maybe she/he will change their mind".

Meanwhile, as a "just a friend", the one with romantic feelings suffers the torture of the damned watching the other person dating other people, talking about their exciting new relationship, etc. This is OK on the part of the person without the romantic feelings because "we are just friends, and friends talk to each other about their relationships."

Been there, done that, and have a drawer full of T shirts.

 

[ender land]

While I think it is possible for straight men and women to have a friendship, it is ONLY under the condition that neither one has romantic feelings toward the other. If one feels romantically toward the other, the "I can I've with it" statement on the part of the one with the romantic feelings really means "I'll stick around, and maybe she/he will change their mind".

Meanwhile, as a "just a friend", the one with romantic feelings suffers the torture of the damned watching the other person dating other people, talking about their exciting new relationship, etc. This is OK on the part of the person without the romantic feelings because "we are just friends, and friends talk to each other about their relationships."

Been there, done that, and have a drawer full of T shirts.

Anecdotal advice: this totally is true. I had a good friend (I thought of her as a sister) once more or less ask me "if you were interested, would you say anything?"

 

[416049]

Become Friends with Benefits!