My heartbroken day

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Dagless, Jun 20, 2008.

  1. Dagless macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #1
    10 years ago we got a rescue dog from the dogs home. Poor thing was in a right state, where all the other dogs would come up and greet passers by she would sit at the back just looking at my parents. We took her home and gave her a really good life. Every summer my whole family (including cousins, aunts etc) would go for a month long holiday and I'd stay back to look after the dog, was great just the both of us living here. She was really friendly, lazy, didn't behave like a dog at all, more like a kind of cat-sheep.

    About 3-4 years back she developed Cushing's disease. The prognosis was good if she took a daily tablet which was quite expensive (£1.50 a day). She was okay with this but over the last year or so she deteriorated.

    During February last year she couldn't walk due to arthritis. It was some kind of "attack", since it cleared up after a few weeks and never came back. Really strange that. I had to do a lot for her during this time as you can probably imagine.

    So anyways. Last week she started eating less, started being sick around the house. Full of energy though! Would regularly climb up the stairs to come see what us human folk were up to. But one morning she didn't want to get up. Took her to the vets who told us she either has Addisons disease or kidney failure. As well as that she also had a lump, a heart murmor and cataracts. She was taken back that day for a 24 hour drip and to measure her improvement. One kidney slightly improved but another didn't. The vet let her go for the night but warned us she could just drop any moment. She didn't and she had a relaxing night with various friends and family members turning up to say bye. We were going to put her to sleep in the morning.

    About 12 years back we had another dog put down from cancer. My dad held him as he was put to sleep, the last time I saw him was as he drove off to the vets. So I decided... I was going to hold our dog. Silly really but I just thought since I looked after her so much that I should look after her one last time.

    At about 9:10 this morning I picked her up from her basket and didn't let go until after the injection at about 9:30. It broke my heart. She just went limp and I couldn't look into her face.

    Damn these pets :( I know she's only a dog and such but she's been a major part of my and my family's life for the last 10 years. God knows what I'm going to do this summer when my family go away again. I've fallen out with parents, I've fallen our with friends and even Caroline in the past. But our dog has always been there. Hard to explain really.
     
  2. xUKHCx Administrator emeritus

    xUKHCx

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2006
    Location:
    The Kop
    #2
    I'm really sorry to hear that Jimmi, it is not easy to say the least.

    My thoughts go out to you.
     
  3. redwarrior macrumors 603

    redwarrior

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2008
    Location:
    in the Dawg house
    #3
    You should rescue another, when you feel emotionally able. Saving lives tends to lift one's spirits.
     
  4. jeremy.king macrumors 603

    jeremy.king

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2002
    Location:
    Fuquay Varina, NC
    #4
    You should take pride in the life you provided for her and smile while you think of all the memories.
     
  5. Dagless thread starter macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #5
    Cheers all :eek: Right now I'm thinking even my gran and cousins dogs won't suffice. I don't think we'll get another dog too. We've got a lot going on in the next few years.
     
  6. benmrii macrumors 65816

    benmrii

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2007
    Location:
    NC
    #6
    Sounds like you provided a wonderful home for her. I know it can be very difficult to lose a pet like that. Sorry for your loss.
     
  7. cycocelica macrumors 68000

    cycocelica

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2005
    Location:
    Redmond, WA
    #7
    Jimmi, I know the feeling. My previous got cancer and there was nothing we could really do to stop. She ended up dying one night and it sucked. She was playful and big so I could wrestle with her. It was hard to see her go.

    About a year later we got a new dog (same breed). It wasn't the same at first, but she grew on me. Now she is just as great. I think getting a new dog really helped my whole family move on after our first dog passed.

    Hang in there, it gets better with time.
     
  8. redwarrior macrumors 603

    redwarrior

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2008
    Location:
    in the Dawg house
    #8
    My Rott had bone cancer; we put him down about 3 months ago. We originally rescued him from the Humane Society ten years ago. My daughter had the hardest time with it, so when it came time (he was in a lot of pain) I took him in alone. I held him. What made it really hard was that he fought the whole time, growled at the vet, tried to get away until the very end. It was quite a wrestling match because he weighed almost as much as me and was stronger than me. Fighting him, that was the hardest.

    Time is a healer though.
     
  9. brad.c macrumors 68020

    brad.c

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2004
    Location:
    50.813669°, -2.474796°
    #9
    Man, that story gutted me. :( I'm really sorry for your loss.

    I am a dog person, but have only had cats in my house for the last 20 years. A couple of years ago, we had to put down one of our two 18 year old cats. These cats were complete indoor cats: the two times they were put in the car, they panicked and scratched the carriers until they were bloody, so I found a vet who would euthanize on a house call. The cats were my wife's, not mine--I didn't even care for them, really. Or so I thought.
    I held her as the doc gave the sedative, and the cat started to droop. When she finally stopped moving, and was slowly breathing, I started to tear up. When her heart stopped on the second injection, I lost it.
    A year later, the second cat was failing, so I had the doctor take that cat away after the sedative took effect. That was easier.

    I couldn't imagine if it had been a dog.
     
  10. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2006
    Location:
    UK
    #10
    "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss
     
  11. rpaloalto macrumors 6502a

    rpaloalto

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Location:
    Palo Alto CA.
    #11
    Sorry for your loss, some people become very close to their pets I think it has to do with when you get them. If your young, you most likely will bond more with your pet.

    I had a cat named E.T. named after the movie. He lived to be almost 23
    I got him when I was in the 4 grade. He made it all the way through high school and college. He mad it to see me get married and even see and share my two children, being brought in to this world. 23 years is a very long time
     
  12. benmrii macrumors 65816

    benmrii

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2007
    Location:
    NC
    #12
    Man... this story has gotten me thinking about my childhood dog. We got him when I was three and I can still remember when I first saw him jump out of the backseat of my mom's car... it's one of my earliest memories. He was the best damn mutt ever. We had to put him down for cancer when I was 18 and I buried him in my backyard. Doing that is easily one of the longest and hardest cries I've ever had. I still sit with him sometimes when I visit home.
     
  13. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #13
    Jimmi- it wasn't only a dog, but part of your family. You shouldn't feel strange for being upset by it. When I had to put my 15 year old cat down due to a brain tumor, I was a wreck for days. Many times our pets are the only constants in our lives, it's very hard to let go. I'm glad you held the dog- I did the same for my cat.
     
  14. yellow Moderator emeritus

    yellow

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2003
    Location:
    Portland, OR
  15. brad.c macrumors 68020

    brad.c

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2004
    Location:
    50.813669°, -2.474796°
    #15
    Actually, to give a sense of closure, we conceived our daughter shortly after we lost our first cat. She's five now, likes olives, sitting in Mommy's lap, and curling up in front of the heating vent. During toilet training, she's peed in the exact same spots as the cat used to, and her eyes are the same colour as the cats used to be.
     
  16. Dagless thread starter macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #16
    Thanks for all your messages everyone.

    We got our dog when when I was just starting secondary (high) school. She lasted through the 5 years there, 2 years at college, 3 at uni and into my gap year. Now it seems like the years just flew by but thinking back to when I was just 12 when we got her and how much I've done since then really puts it all into perspective.
    Our first dog (German Shepherd) was born around the same time as me so I grew up with him. Magnificent animal that. I still remember the day he died so distinctly, even remember playing Duke Nukem 3D and putting my own words about him to the theme tune :eek:

    Oh and I forgot to mention, our dog was a right odd looking thing. Bedlington Terrier crossed with a Poodle. Would never fight against people or other dogs. Loved carrots. Took her years before she first barked.
    [​IMG]
     
  17. Dagless thread starter macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #17
    Been another tough day. I can't go into the utility room, where she had a basket. I just shut the door if it's open. By habit I also look into the dining room since she would always sleep under the radiator :eek: it's tough. Had a big talk about her with my family earlier, her names kinda been taboo since yesterday.
     
  18. zelmo macrumors 603

    zelmo

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2004
    Location:
    Mac since 7.5
    #18
    Losing a pet is a tough thing to get over, but it will get better with time. Sounds to me like you were as great a companion to her as she was to you, Jim. I know how hard it is to hold your pet as the vet does the deed, as I've been there with two dogs of my own. I tell myself that the dog is comforted by my presence, and that thought makes a very sad act just a little more bearable.
    I can't imagine that you'd want another pet straight away, or maybe for months. But, if you are a dog lover, you don't just stop being one. A day will come when you are ready, and you'll feel all that joy anew.
     
  19. Kodak macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    May 29, 2008
    Location:
    New York, NY
    #19
    That story made me cry Jim I know how it feels this one time I had two fishes they were so happy and funny one summer I had to stay with them while my family was in Canada we had so much fun but one of the fishes was getting sad they had babies then the morning after the sad fish died I called my parents then we went to a pond right by a road we went to when we went to Canada I put him in there and he liked it and I buried him there a placed he loved the next day the other one died we put him there too and every time I go to Canada I leave them things they liked and I still lie awake crying about them
     
  20. The Doctor macrumors member

    The Doctor

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    Location:
    Chestnut Ridge, NY
    #20
    that is so sad... losing my last dog was the saddest thing that has ever happened to me... we now have 2 dogs and 2 cats, and i hate knowing that i will have to go through all of that again someday... losing a pet really sucks... and now after reading this im pretty bummed... anyway, im sorry for you lose.
     
  21. Dagless thread starter macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #21
    Well the 2nd to final part is over. We got her ashes yesterday and me and my dad went to scatter them. Nobody else could go, my mum and sister are in a really bad way over this. I don't like it either but I really had to go.
    Walked around a bit first completely avoiding talking about the dog just incase it set me off again. Found a nice spot, sat on a bench to "paws for thought" :rolleyes: and that was it.

    Saved some ashes for the back garden.

    I thought I was okay with it all but I've just woken up from having a really vivid, almost lucid dream of her and now I can't get back to sleep :eek:

    Probably doesn't help that last night I found some old family videos with her on them.

    Still, even though we're all adjusting to this the big quiet 3 weeks when I'm left alone in this house will be the hardest time. Maybe.
     
  22. idyll macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2007
  23. Shotgun OS macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2006
    Location:
    Ohio
    #23
    Oh man, I know how you feel. :( I feel the same way with everyone one of my cats. I've had over 18 cats in my 17 years. We just lost 2 these past few months. My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope everything gets better soon.
     
  24. w_parietti22 macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2005
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    #24
    Sorry Jimmi. :( I can't imagine losing my dog, Griffin. he just turned 8 and 4 or 5 more years just doesn't seem like enough.

    This actually makes complete, and total sense to me. That's the way is with me & Griffin.

    18?!? :eek: Thats a lot of cats. Sorry for lose too. :(
     
  25. jediistar macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2007
    #25
    Man, that really brought a tear to my eye. Like the rest of you, I just can't imagine it, I've had dogs come and go but every time its losing a little part of myself.

    I remember the first time I read Marley and Me, I cried like a little baby. I'm sure I will when the movie comes out as well.
     

Share This Page