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Need girl advice. (very long confusing)
- Thread starter appleguy123
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Love? Nah, an Unbounded Set of Incommensurate Emotions...
Well, son, looks like you have a classic case of SBCT (see but can't touch) syndrome, and as someone said are in danger of setting up a mighty pedestal for the target of your affections to bow down in front of. I wouldn't do that; you don't see enough of her to counter your fevered imaginations of the perfections of her character, which will thus grow exponentially, so my advice instead to you is this:
Get a piece of paper and a pen (some people actually prefer to do it with LaTeX, but I leave that to taste), and write down the Pros and Cons of your love, but crucially for each aspect you must write down an observed example. No example, no pro. E.g, saying ``is amazingly adoringly kind and committed'' is useless without the corroborating ``rescued a drowning lamb from a raging torrent of raw sewage''. Doing this should actually tell you how much you know about her character. My feeling is that not having actually seen/spoke with her much in the last two years will lead to a pretty sparse piece of paper.
So what you then have to do is try and fill out the piece of paper by experience of her, which means spending time with her. Do this by organising parties or trips with friends and inviting her. Or you could just ask her out on a date, but that is kinda diving in at the deep end. Best to dilute the first experiences with other people, I think.
Otherwise, if that is all too difficult, use the wonderful facility that God (self-defeatingly, some might say) gave you, your rational mind, to force those awkward emotions that just ``waiting for marriage'' does not quell out of your mind and blot her out. This process may be accelerated by turning your thoughts to a girl less remote. You may well find it surprisingly easy.
Well, son, looks like you have a classic case of SBCT (see but can't touch) syndrome, and as someone said are in danger of setting up a mighty pedestal for the target of your affections to bow down in front of. I wouldn't do that; you don't see enough of her to counter your fevered imaginations of the perfections of her character, which will thus grow exponentially, so my advice instead to you is this:
Get a piece of paper and a pen (some people actually prefer to do it with LaTeX, but I leave that to taste), and write down the Pros and Cons of your love, but crucially for each aspect you must write down an observed example. No example, no pro. E.g, saying ``is amazingly adoringly kind and committed'' is useless without the corroborating ``rescued a drowning lamb from a raging torrent of raw sewage''. Doing this should actually tell you how much you know about her character. My feeling is that not having actually seen/spoke with her much in the last two years will lead to a pretty sparse piece of paper.
So what you then have to do is try and fill out the piece of paper by experience of her, which means spending time with her. Do this by organising parties or trips with friends and inviting her. Or you could just ask her out on a date, but that is kinda diving in at the deep end. Best to dilute the first experiences with other people, I think.
Otherwise, if that is all too difficult, use the wonderful facility that God (self-defeatingly, some might say) gave you, your rational mind, to force those awkward emotions that just ``waiting for marriage'' does not quell out of your mind and blot her out. This process may be accelerated by turning your thoughts to a girl less remote. You may well find it surprisingly easy.
Okay so everyones taking the "Yo dude just talk to da ho biatch" route (sorry had to) anyone against that?
Your attempt at humor shows immaturity and insecurity. When you grow up, you will look back on this episode and either laugh at yourself, or cry. You will learn that while the hardest, riskiest, most vulnerable thing to do is actually TALKING to another person, it is the most honest. If it is meant to be, this is the way to find out. However, you will be a completely different person in 10 years (as will she), so "the one" right now may not be next decade's "the one."
Exactly! Which is why this whole social notion of lifelong monogamous relationships is pretty absurd.
Not sure if that was a joke or not, but if you want to go down that route I recommend writing a poem. I wrote my ex a poem to ask her out and made the first letter of each paragraph spell out her name, she liked that a lot (I posted it up and she read it, asked who it was about and I told her to read the first letter of paragraph, and she told me she felt the same way
).
I remember what it was like in 8th grade in these circumstances, so I'm not being judgemental. But may I offer one piece of advice...
In 8th grade or 12th grade or even 20 years old, I'm betting you're in no position to say that anyone is "the one." Your concept of that one true person will evolve quite a bit over the years. An as an "extreme christian" you'll also understand that sometimes God gives you someone who you'd never expect to be with, but works out in ways much better than you could have planned.