A quick word in your shell-like
Could they slap any more icons on the screen
One moment please, sir. If you'd like to take a seat, I'll be right back with an answer.
Thank you for waiting. I'm realiably advised that yes, sir, they can.
"simple, modern style,"
"more intuitive"
Yes, so intuitive. For
support for Retina displays
Even better, sir: more than forty. Fifty! Maybe fifty-five. An iconic fresh, new style of button with deep vibrant flat use of a specially-optimised version of a font that was originally optimised
sorry, sir. I should say
designed for something other than a computer. Both more modern than, and older than, the norm. Completely Mac, sir. Completely!
Your young daughter's phone, there? Of course. I'll take that to be measured immediately. Make yourself comfortable, coffee and croissants are on their way.
The design is said to be more unified with both the Windows version of Office and the iPad version
All done. I'm sorry that you had to wait a few minutes longer than the usual fifteen, but I think you'll be delighted with how the time was spent: Apple worked quickly with Microsoft to streamline the depth of unification across all devices, with special attention to the thinner, lighter, translucent hardware that the majority of customers might not have for years to come. But let me tell you, a majority of magazine articles will be positively swooning with pleasure at the prospect. Think of all that reading you can do whilst waiting for the intended products to reach market.
i wanna excel with transparency cells
By all means. Take a seat, please. My designer colleagues Apple likes to call them 'dolleagues' are in the next room, making it as we speak. All up as they go along.
I hope they include Handoff features between Mac and iPad.
Would that be standard handoff, through the cells and between the devices? Between you and me, sir, it might be better to wait until the smallest of the devices becomes available in a thinner edition. The depth gained through thinness (Apple likes to call this 'flatticity') will allow more diffuse shadows, through which the continuity can flow. Modern, porous data.
Oh, I am delighted. Always a pleasure to not only meet, but exceed the customer's brief. May I pass on your compliments to my dolleagues?
When I was a kid we had to use Outlook while we were walking to work uphill in three feet of snow with only some warm broth in our bellies. Oh my those were the days. Hopefully our children won't have to suffer as we once did.
Ah, a traditionalist. You and me both, sir! I will
never forget when that first 1.5 mm was lasered off the depth of Hovis. All that pesky substance. How, HOW did we ever live with it? Our children, all our children, and our children's children and their flat-headed children (Apple will like to call them 'great-grand-flildren') are sure to have the most personal devices ever. In the world. Stars on 45 are staying alive, is all I can say.
I hope that this is real news.
Absolutely. My dolleagues are rushing to complete the design now. And just as soon as they have done so, there'll be our coffee person to write the guidelines on how to design from start to finish from iPhone to ultraMac. One size fits all five sizes, that's the software that we like to give Apple customers, sir.
They're making the things while we speak, bless those dolleagues. Making it up, making it all up as they go along.
Looks as fugly as ever. Why does all Microsoft software have to look so bloated and ugly?
Ah, a latecomer! No problem at all. You're not too late for croissants. Over here please, and here's the answer that was given before your arrival
yes, yes! That explains it. All hope of Microsoft inching towards a refined, consistent and intuitive user interface was lost when Yosemite was released. Ugly, exactly as intended and exactly as few people will notice. Tastes better now, doesn't it?
Whoa all the letters are scrambled, guess it's still pre-alpha.
It's no good. No good at all. No good trying to contain myself any longer, I'll just burst if I do.
OK. There's one more thing. It's RELEASED!
Quickly sir! Here, here and here. Quick as you can now, today's freshness will be remarketed as old and ugly in six months. Now, as always in the past, we pride ourselves on offering consistency and continuity across all devices, including those that are not yet availalable, and that means continually fresh, vibrant obsolescence. Apple likes to call it 'vobrolescence', and that's something only we can provide. The best, never a crappy product.
Lync is a bit of a sore spot
Don't get me wrong, it's atrocious and needs fixing
More than just a bit! Aim to please, that's the designer's motto. It's always good to know that a software product was released at just the right moment. May I pass on the compliment to my dolleagues?
take the experience from "torture chamber" to merely "highly annoying".
An exquisite choice of words, Mr. P.
Yosemite can, no,
will embrace both of those ideals, and more.
MS lost it
the GUI layout is terrible.
why, oh god, why?
Please. All is
not lost. Apple found that thing, that uncanny ability to please some users whilst utterly pissing off some others, and gave it depth. Freshness. The exquisite horror, that exquisiteness that only our most select customers can truly appreciate, that horror of user interface actually helps the user to focus on content.
- Microsoft just made the Yosemite theme look ugly.
- I never liked the ribbon. It seemed disorganized and bloated from the very beginning.
Please. I know it's late and that this post is neverending, but it's not done to let Microsoft take all the credit. Apple took the lead on ugliness with Yosemite. It's subtle, the ugliness in Yosemite. Microsoft's is measurably no more or less ugly than Apple's; it's just that Microsoft's is more in your face.
Ribbon-tastic; lets waste all that screen real-estate with pointless and useless icons.
I like the idea. Only one problem: pre-alpha, as the other gentleman most astutely observed. So it's too late to change the essence of the visual design. And it's released, so our coffee person has their work cut out for them. Documentation, and don't spare the horses.
that interface has become so overwhelming.
Patience there's more to come, sir. I knew that would bring a smile to your face. Lots, and lots of bright, bright, blue.
It's kinda weird.
those big unsightly icons
You're welcome. Between you and me I knew, from the start, that folder-like simply wouldn't do. Bright, bright blue, weird big and unsightly. I'm quite overcome with emotion at the perfection achieved by my dolleagues.
Please. Please. I don't want to cry.
Mail on the other hand is buggy
Much as I'd like our UI team to take the credit for that, it's only fair to point out that we can't do everything. The lift to your right leads straight to the Continuity of Bugs team area; your appreciation of their work their determination to continue a bug from one release to the next will be most welcome there.
Croissant?
I am forced to use office at work and find it a horrendous peice of software to use.
With the new flat look that yosemite gives it, it looks even worse!
Our Employer Involvement Programme does simply outstanding co-operative work for Microsoft. I'm so glad that, thanks to your employer and to Apple's clarity of vision, you were amongst the first to appreciate those qualities. Welcome to tomorrow, sir.
Welcome, sir, welcome madam, welcome, all flat-headed people. The worst may be yet to come.
I hope that this is real news.
Everything above is real. As real as the day is long. Twenty minutes long.