He's said he loves his wife. If anything, he told me that he doesn't yet feel a connection to the baby though he's word this is normal for men during a first pregnancy. I wouldn't know having not had any children, but I can't imagine not feeling a bond with my unborn child.
And I was about to head out to lunch, but I can't resist this one.. now I go off.
With my wife and I having lost our first child at 19 weeks into the pregnancy, I can guaran-damn-tee there is a bond there. He definitely is taking it for granted, because in the beginning, I did too. I told jokes about the baby, and what would happen, because I was afraid of what I would do (as an only child who never babysat, I had no experience at all with children, especially babies). But he won't realize it until something happens, and he is perpetuating it.
I don't know where you are, but according to the OB-GYN here, a viable pregnancy starts at 20 weeks; viable, meaning that they would call it an actual child, eligible for birth and death certificates. Anything less would be deemed a second trimester miscarriage. The latter is what we had, and we ended up with nothing out of it; no pictures, no certificate of birth, nothing for any sort of funeral, nothing. We were lucky to have copies of the only two ultrasounds we have of her. When you lose your baby, whether born or not, like hell you don't have a bond. He's spewing b******t straight out of his mouth, and now has me a bit pissed. If he's thinking of keeping this up, he isn't worthy of that baby, let alone his wife who is taking the 9 months out of her life to have him/her for the both of them.
The mistress provides him sexual satisfaction that he isn't getting at home.
So can masturbation, and he can surely get that at home.
He and his wife were very sexually active before the pregnancy, and then it went full stop.
Now, I believe we get to it. Doctors say that sex during pregnancy, even up to 7 months in the term is absolutely fine and normal. It helps the woman to relax and makes bearing down during delivery easier. My guess is that he grew up on old values that you don't touch a woman during the entire gestational period, or he finds sex with a pregnant woman absolutely revolting.
If the latter here is the case, You have to wonder what will happen if he gets the mistress pregnant.
I am by no means justifying his actions (you'd think someone could go a few months without sex [I know I have!]), but it was probably torture for him. He found a possible outlet, and then latched on. Pathetic.
He's too manly enough to search for other means outside of infidelity. That is what makes him pathetic. What makes him less of a man in my book is that he has no regard, respect, nor care about the child he has helped to bring in to this world, and until he gets his act together, really doesn't deserve the moniker of "Father", when there are people who have done everything right, yet can't naturally.
Believe me, I know aren't justifying anything for him, and if anything you should be applauded for asking for help and counsel for such a horrid situation as this. But for him...
I better just head to lunch before I say something I may regret.
BL.
