Online dating?


Warbrain

macrumors 603
Jun 28, 2004
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Chicago, IL
It's such a huge joke. I've got a few friends who will live or die by it, but I think it's such a sham. Get out in the real world and meet people.
 

miloblithe

macrumors 68020
Nov 14, 2003
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Washington, DC
How is it a sham or a joke? We're all just people. Whether you meet someone by internet, in the "real world", through friends, in a class or through work, whatever, all that matters is the person.
 

Foxglove9

macrumors 68000
Jan 14, 2006
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New York City
All of my relationships in my life have been met through online. Sometimes forums similar to this, others on dating/social sites. I can't imagine dating any other way? I say it's a great thing!
 

Warbrain

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Jun 28, 2004
5,701
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Chicago, IL
miloblithe said:
How is it a sham or a joke? We're all just people. Whether you meet someone by internet, in the "real world", through friends, in a class or through work, whatever, all that matters is the person.
I believe it's a sham and a joke because it's not necessary. We as humans have been meeting people face to face and developing our relationships as such for centuries. Why do we need to stop and use a computer with an Internet connection as a way to find a cheap **** or future partner? It's just my opinion, you can have your own.
 

miloblithe

macrumors 68020
Nov 14, 2003
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Washington, DC
Fair enough to have your own opinion. But keep in mind that things are pretty different depending on your stage of life and situation.

Also, why does it matter how someone meets someone? Saying people have been meeting face to face for centuries isn't really relevant. People back then didn't have computers, so they didn't use them.
 

Warbrain

macrumors 603
Jun 28, 2004
5,701
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Chicago, IL
miloblithe said:
Fair enough to have your own opinion. But keep in mind that things are pretty different depending on your stage of life and situation.

Also, why does it matter how someone meets someone? Saying people have been meeting face to face for centuries isn't really relevant. People back then didn't have computers, so they didn't use them.
Why stop doing what has worked for so long already? If it's worked for that long, then it's a pretty damn good way to find people.

And from what my friends have experienced, you never have a good idea of who the person is until you meet them. Why go through the hassle of searching them out in some database online and then have to go meet them in the real world than just go out and find a person in the real world? Skip the whole searching the web part.
 

Jackie.Cane

macrumors member
Mar 5, 2006
58
0
Canada
Warbrain said:
I believe it's a sham and a joke because it's not necessary. We as humans have been meeting people face to face and developing our relationships as such for centuries. Why do we need to stop and use a computer with an Internet connection as a way to find a cheap **** or future partner? It's just my opinion, you can have your own.
Well, to you maybe, but I met my partner of 3 years online (not a dating website, just on a music forum). He is from Norway and I'm Canadian - we never would have met face to face otherwise.

Just because you don't personally like it, doesn't mean its a "sham and a joke.":rolleyes:
 

Warbrain

macrumors 603
Jun 28, 2004
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Chicago, IL
Jackie.Cane said:
Well, to you maybe, but I met my partner of 3 years online (not a dating website, just on a music forum). He is from Norway and I'm Canadian - we never would have met face to face otherwise.

Just because you don't personally like it, doesn't mean its a "sham and a joke.":rolleyes:
It can be a sham and joke to me if I don't like it. I can think whatever I want of it. It may work for some people, but I just don't think it's worth the time.

But I'll back off so that you all can discuss it. I guess I came at this too hostile.
 

miloblithe

macrumors 68020
Nov 14, 2003
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Washington, DC
Warbrain said:
Why stop doing what has worked for so long already? If it's worked for that long, then it's a pretty damn good way to find people.

And from what my friends have experienced, you never have a good idea of who the person is until you meet them. Why go through the hassle of searching them out in some database online and then have to go meet them in the real world than just go out and find a person in the real world? Skip the whole searching the web part.
What exactly are you advocating that worked for centuries? When you're of marryable age your parents hire a matchmaker? What specifically are you talking about?
 

Warbrain

macrumors 603
Jun 28, 2004
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Chicago, IL
Foxglove9 said:
And what makes you think it has worked so well?
The fact that our species has survived is a pretty good example.

miloblithe said:
What exactly are you advocating that worked for centuries? When you're of marryable age your parents hire a matchmaker? What specifically are you talking about?
I'm talking about meeting people in public without the help of some service from a dating website and building your relationships in that manner. No dating services, no databases, just meeting people at a bar or other social place.
 

miloblithe

macrumors 68020
Nov 14, 2003
2,076
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Washington, DC
Warbrain said:
I'm talking about meeting people in public without the help of some service from a dating website and building your relationships in that manner. No dating services, no databases, just meeting people at a bar or other social place.
OK. A bar or some other social place, like what? And what if you're too young to get into a bar? People should just wait to date until they are 21? What if you live somewhere that doesn't have smoke free restaurants and bars and you don't like cigarette smoke? What if you don't have enough spare money to go to bars (and people can use computers in public libraries or school computer centers)? What if you don't like bars? What if you've tried meeting people in bars and you haven't had any luck? What if you've had luck but the people you meet don't ever turn out to share common interests or beliefs?
 

iBookG4user

macrumors 604
Jun 27, 2006
6,596
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Seattle, WA
It was conpletely unintentional but I met someone that I fell in love with online and I'll be moving several thousand miles to see them soon, I say it's a great idea.
 

devilot

Moderator emeritus
May 1, 2005
15,532
2
I used to think it was silly...

until I met people or re-connected with people I wouldn't otherwise would have, and we're still close friends.

That and I know someone who met his girlfriend of nearly 4 years from an online dating service. That is NOT a sham. They have since moved in together, and are still happily together-- that's more than I can say about quite a few other couples who met through more traditional or conventional methods and didn't last a year. :rolleyes:
 

spicyapple

macrumors 68000
Jul 20, 2006
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It's always intrigued me, but where do you go to meet these online people? I much prefer face-to-face if at all possible.
 

Blue Velvet

Moderator emeritus
Jul 4, 2004
21,659
143
Timely topic. ;)

I've seen the success of this for some of my friends and can attest to its value. The idea of hanging around a bar to meet potential partners is complete anathema to me... some of us who are single and keep busy working hours find little opportunity to meet like-minded souls in public places, unless it's at the supermarket just like in Tales of the City.

Besides, most English men are crap at putting themselves forward and the ones that are, are often not the ones you are looking for. I'm with Gwyneth Paltrow on this...

"British people don't seem to ask each other out on dates. If someone asked you out they're really going out on a limb, whereas in America it happens all the time."
 

iGary

Guest
May 26, 2004
19,583
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Randy's House
I posted an ad on Love@a0l about 7 years ago and Rob answered my ad.

We've been together 7 years.

I think it is especially helpful for homos who want to be descreet about this type of thing. Doesn't require going to "known" homo hangouts.
 

Silentwave

macrumors 68000
May 26, 2006
1,587
0
Gainesville, FL
My father used to try it after my parents got divorced.

it didn't work so well. One day, he logged on to deactivate an account on a website he didn't like so much.

While he was online those few minutes, a woman saw his profile and contacted him.

They'd lived blocks away from each other, gone to the same schools for years, just 2 years apart. How they didn't run into eachother was a mystery.

She is an amazing person.

They got married last october.

Not my cup of tea, i prefer to be stalked first.
 

Doctor Q

Administrator
Staff member
Sep 19, 2002
36,133
3,348
Los Angeles
Some of the advantages of online dating are that there's much more selection and variety, it helps people who feel awkward initiating contacts in person, and you can use the power of computers to help sift your choices.

The disadvantages include the chances that you are getting false information, the likeliness that somebody you like will live far away, and the lack of face-to-face contact, which is a much more efficient way to find out if you are compatible with someone than email, IMs, etc.

I have two friends who found spouses online. One marriage worked out well and the other failed, so that's absolute proof that your chances for finding a lifetime partner online are exactly 50%. Note: That figure has a rather large margin of error. Your results may vary.