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Online dating?

Is there a way to protect yourself when actually meeting? I'm an 18 year old girl alone in NYC (I mean i'm in school and stuff) and I'm hesitant to meet strange men from the Internet.

Anything precautions, or way of telling if he might be "luring" you somewhere? I already plan on telling ppl where I am going, meeting a very public place during the day, etc, no personal info. Anything else?
 
mariahlullaby said:
Is there a way to protect yourself when actually meeting? I'm an 18 year old girl alone in NYC (I mean i'm in school and stuff) and I'm hesitant to meet strange men from the Internet.

Anything precautions, or way of telling if he might be "luring" you somewhere? I already plan on telling ppl where I am going, meeting a very public place during the day, etc, no personal info. Anything else?
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A determined person (think private investigator) could probably track down your personal information starting from very little, even a photo and a knowledge of your school, job, the neighborhood where you live, places you frequent, so you can't really be 100% safe meeting strangers. But that's pretty unlikely.

More likely is that you can keep your privacy by not giving out any more information than you want to, until you feel ready to, and avoiding obvious ways that somebody could get more than that (by following you, looking over your shoulder while you sign something, peeking in your wallet when you aren't looking, etc.).

One way to feel a bit safer would be to bring along a friend. Introduce her, then send her off to shop and meet you later. It's the buddy system for young adults.

Most people are normal and not out to get you, so the precautions you mentioned are probably what's needed. Make sure you have your cell phone. Program it for a one-button call to someone trustworthy if you want to take an extra precaution.

And good luck!
 
aloofman said:
In all fairness, the exact same thing happens at any bar or social function. You have to prove yourself to be worthy there too.
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I mean I wish it was more like proving you're more than mediocre, and less about proving you're not a psycho rapist Cher fan. In a face to face situation a girl would be able to quickly assess that a guy is probably ok and you move on from there, but on the Internet they're surprised that you're not talking about your penis in the initial conversation. I just think that if a website could weed out the super freaks, then all the normal people would have an easier time.

mariahlullaby said:
Is there a way to protect yourself when actually meeting? I'm an 18 year old girl alone in NYC (I mean i'm in school and stuff) and I'm hesitant to meet strange men from the Internet.

Anything precautions, or way of telling if he might be "luring" you somewhere? I already plan on telling ppl where I am going, meeting a very public place during the day, etc, no personal info. Anything else?
Click to expand...

Make sure you have enough money to pay for your end of the date, and to get yourself home without requiring a ride from the guy. That way you can always leave whenever you want, however you want. So that rules out having to wait for a ferry that only comes every 4 hours, or staying out past when your bus runs.
 
While online dating might help those of us pining for a cuddle or two, an enterprising German has launched a new service designed to help out-of-love types who want to split up from their partner, but don't have the bottle to do it themselves.

Prices start at 20 euros (that's about $25 for our friends in the States), for which the service will perform a simple telephone break up on your behalf...
 
Jaffa Cake said:
While online dating might help those of us pining for a cuddle or two, an enterprising German has launched a new service designed to help out-of-love types who want to split up from their partner, but don't have the bottle to do it themselves.

Prices start at 20 euros (that's about $25 for our friends in the States), for which the service will perform a simple telephone break up on your behalf...
Click to expand...

There was a service in several major U.S. cities a few years ago (don't know if it's still in business), that provides a phone number for you to hand out to your unwanted suitor. When you call it, it plays a recorded message saying that the person who gave you the number wasn't interested and just gave you a number so you'd go away.
 
Dating sites creep me out a wee bit.

But meeting on forums or something is neat.

I've met some pretty cool people on here. PlymouthBreezer and I can both agree on that, I think?

Not that it's romantic. Just that if we lived nearer each other... maybe it would be. But we'll wait until to we meet to think too much on that front... I believe...

EDIT: annnd of course I'm 13... so... yeah
 
mariahlullaby said:
Anything precautions, or way of telling if he might be "luring" you somewhere? I already plan on telling ppl where I am going, meeting a very public place during the day, etc, no personal info. Anything else?
Click to expand...

I'm a very nervous human being. And I 'spose that's going to be reflected in this post. But, fact is, straight men don't exactly have the best track record of treating 18 year old girls well. I mean, maybe 85% of men are totally cool (maybe not). But I still don't trust most men around young women. Why not bring a friend along when you're meeting this guy?

If I'm ever a father, I'm going to be an overprotective disaster. But my kids are going to have to deal with other human beings, you know? And my daughter is going to have to deal with the real "men" that form the conglomerate otherwise known as "internet creepiness."

God. Men. You're not entitled.

Today I'm bitter and fragmented.
 
thedude110 said:
I'm a very nervous human being. And I 'spose that's going to be reflected in this post. But, fact is, straight men don't exactly have the best track record of treating 18 year old girls well. I mean, maybe 85% of men are totally cool (maybe not). But I still don't trust most men around young women. Why not bring a friend along when you're meeting this guy?

If I'm ever a father, I'm going to be an overprotective disaster. But my kids are going to have to deal with other human beings, you know? And my daughter is going to have to deal with the real "men" that form the conglomerate otherwise known as "internet creepiness."

God. Men. Your not entitled.

Today I'm bitter and fragmented.
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This is the kind of paranoia that makes it that much harder for me to convince a woman that I'm not a psycho. Thanks a lot.
 
Well, I met someone and we have really, really hit it off....we are meeting Friday. Wish me luck :)

Thanks again!
 
Make sure to post here afterwards, mariahlullaby, so we know you're OK. (So we can take all the credit.)
 
mariahlullaby said:
Is there a way to protect yourself when actually meeting? I'm an 18 year old girl alone in NYC (I mean i'm in school and stuff) and I'm hesitant to meet strange men from the Internet.
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I was going to say "Don't do it!!", but um.........congratulations, and I hope it goes well. :eek:


Did you meet the guy at a message board, or on some dating website?

aloofman said:
There was a service in several major U.S. cities a few years ago (don't know if it's still in business), that provides a phone number for you to hand out to your unwanted suitor. When you call it, it plays a recorded message saying that the person who gave you the number wasn't interested and just gave you a number so you'd go away.
Click to expand...

I remember that. Too funny. :p
 
mariahlullaby said:
Well, I met someone and we have really, really hit it off....we are meeting Friday. Wish me luck :)
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Good luck... but please be careful! How much do you know about this person you're meeting? Make sure you meet in a public place, have a friend know where you're going and perhaps even get them to call/text you during the evening; that way you've got an excuse to leave should you need one ("oh my flatmate's called and is really sick, blah blah")
 
dcv said:
and perhaps even get them to call/text you during the evening; that way you've got an excuse to leave should you need one ("oh my flatmate's called and is really sick, blah blah")
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I believed you! You mean it was all a lie?! My world is falling apart. :p
 
Warbrain said:
I believe it's a sham and a joke because it's not necessary. We as humans have been meeting people face to face and developing our relationships as such for centuries.
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We used to communicate by carrier pigeon and morse code, too.

What's your point?
 
Doctor Q said:
Make sure to post here afterwards, mariahlullaby, so we know you're OK. (So we can take all the credit.)
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Haha, will do. We've been talking constantly...I'm quite excited for Friday :p
 
Well, I am back...I'm really tired, so I won't type a lot. We had a nice evening, casual. Got dinner together, talked computers, and then walked around the park. Then when we got cold we into a tea place and talked for 2 hours over a pot of tea we shared. We clicked :). Not necessarily love at first sight, but definitely planning a second date.

I will say this: he is TALL. As in 6'5. And I am 5'1. Slightly awkward.

Thanks again!
 
hah! That's quite a difference! I've always thought that was really cute though, couples with big height differences.

I'm glad it went well!

e
 
mariahlullaby said:
Well, I am back...I'm really tired, so I won't type a lot. We had a nice evening, casual. Got dinner together, talked computers, and then walked around the park. Then when we got cold we into a tea place and talked for 2 hours over a pot of tea we shared. We clicked :). Not necessarily love at first sight, but definitely planning a second date.

I will say this: he is TALL. As in 6'5. And I am 5'1. Slightly awkward.

Thanks again!
Click to expand...
I'm glad you aren't tied up in a basement somewhere being held for ransom, and you made it home safely instead. Even better, your date went well. :)

"Talked computers"? Uh oh, you shouldn't hang around those computer-geek-types. They are worse than kidnappers! ;)
 
mariahlullaby said:
Well, I am back...I'm really tired, so I won't type a lot. We had a nice evening, casual. Got dinner together, talked computers, and then walked around the park. Then when we got cold we into a tea place and talked for 2 hours over a pot of tea we shared. We clicked :). Not necessarily love at first sight, but definitely planning a second date.

I will say this: he is TALL. As in 6'5. And I am 5'1. Slightly awkward.

Thanks again!
Click to expand...
Glad to hear that it went okay.

Don't worry about the height issue. Not sure about the states, but see it all the time over here! :D

Doctor Q said:
"Talked computers"? Uh oh, you shouldn't hang around those computer-geek-types. They are worse than kidnappers! ;)
Click to expand...
Is that why none of us can leave MR? :p :D
 
It has significant advantages. You know much more about potential partner before you approach him/her, so you don't have to talk to a drunk chick with pretty face in a bar who will turn out to be impossibly dumb :D

oh, almost forgot, my friend got married a week ago. He married the girl he met in a chat room.
 
Tried it once after my divorce, NIGHTMARE!!! thank god I had the 'get me the hell out of here' phone call set up, although my so-called best friend was 20 minutes late calling me, the b*****d.

Still have several friends who meet via on-line dating, one pair are now married and the other two are looking at getting married. So I guess it works for some.


EDIT - OK, can I point out that one of the mods deleted the post that brought this thread back from the dead. I didn't notice how old the thread was until after I'd posted. I do have a life, honest :D
 
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