People who don't acknowledge important emails/messages . . .

[usagora]

No one has yet come close to agreeing with

Sure they have. I guess you didn't see the "reactions" to my OP or read through all the replies.

It was not a personal remark, it was a remark about the thread.

You said my posts were "needy" - Since I'm the one writing the posts, that's a personal remark about me, not "the thread" as some inanimate entity separate from me. And what I'm saying is that I made it quite clear that these were emails/messages about important topics, not a need for personal attention, LOL!

I do not know you and I'm sure you're probably a wonderful person, but you expecting others to fall into your line of expectation is never going to work and will result in not only your personal annoyance, but also folk on the other side who feel badgered by you.

When I became a manager I found out fast how everyone was different. A managerial style that worked for Bob failed totally for Alice.

Appreciate our differences and find another way to converse because apparently email isn't working for you.

I'm sorry, but to me this is a clear matter of courtesy and responsibility, and I will never view failure to acknowledge important emails or messages as acceptable, let alone "appreciate" the fact that people fail to respond. I can guarantee you if my boss sends me something important and I fail to acknowledge it, he's not just going to shrug his shoulders and say, "Well, that' just the way he is" and move on. He's going to be on the phone after a few days asking me, "Hey, did you not get that email I sent you about such-and-such?"

 

[TiggrToo]

I'm sorry, but to me this is a clear matter of courtesy and responsibility, and I will never view failure to acknowledge important emails or messages as acceptable, let alone "appreciate" the fact that people fail to respond.

Well, you're going to continue to have a problem here because people are not going to change to suit you. So either you change or you continue to have the perceived problem.

I can guarantee you if my boss sends me something important and I fail to acknowledge it, he's not just going to shrug his shoulders and say, "Well, that' just the way he is" and move on. He's going to be on the phone after a few days asking me, "Hey, did you not get that email I sent you about such-and-such?"

That's your boss. Totally different relationship.

Peer to peer is nothing like the same sort of relationship.

 

[usagora]

It's still a need to be acknowledged.

I've lost track how many messages I've sent that need answers via Slack where it's even easier to acknowledge them.

If it's important then I'll reach out another way.

Yes, but there are two totally different meanings to that phrase ("need to be acknowledged") - one emotional and the other administrative. And I DO reach out another way, because their lack of a response forces me to. But it's info that needs to be in writing for their reference, as it contains specific, important details and usually attachments as well - thus the email. Surely email is more convenient than me calling them up and saying, "Please get out a pen and paper and take notes." LOL!

 

[furious]

So instead of me simply emailing you important info and you taking 10 seconds to acknowledge it, you'd rather me call you and have you take notes? I'm sorry, but if someone takes the time to send you important info relevant to your job or something you volunteered to do, and you can't reply within at least a week (and that's pushing it), the "I have a job and family" excuse doesn't hold water. It's simply laziness or disorganization at that point.

When you work for 20 years you work out some stuff. 70% things can be ignored and they go away on their own, 20% of things can be done tomorrow, 5% if things need your attention, 5% of things should of been done yesterday.

 

[Expos of 1969]

Sure they have. I guess you didn't see the "reactions" to my OP or read through all the replies.



You said my posts were "needy" - Since I'm the one writing the posts, that's a personal remark about me, not "the thread" as some inanimate entity separate from me. And what I'm saying is that I made it quite clear that these were emails/messages about important topics, not a need for personal attention, LOL!



I'm sorry, but to me this is a clear matter of courtesy and responsibility, and I will never view failure to acknowledge important emails or messages as acceptable, let alone "appreciate" the fact that people fail to respond. I can guarantee you if my boss sends me something important and I fail to acknowledge it, he's not just going to shrug his shoulders and say, "Well, that' just the way he is" and move on. He's going to be on the phone after a few days asking me, "Hey, did you not get that email I sent you about such-and-such?"

If the message from your boss did not request you to provide a response to one or more issues discussed in the message or if your boss did not ask you to acknowledge receipt, why waste both his time and yours by sending a message to say thanks. If I was your boss I would only be upset if you failed to do something later that was asked of you in the message. I trust my employees until they give me a reason not to.

 

[TiggrToo]

Yes, but there are two totally different meanings to that phrase ("need to be acknowledged") - one emotional and the other administrative. And I DO reach out another way, because their lack of a response forces me to. But it's info that needs to be in writing for their reference, as it contains specific, important details and usually attachments as well - thus the email. Surely email is more convenient than me calling them up and saying, "Please get out a pen and paper and take notes." LOL!

No, YOU have perceived them to be different. Other people do not see it that way.

The fact you cannot understand this demonstrates the fundamental issue at hand.

 

[theSeb]

I understand, and I'm not going around huffing and puffing about this all day. But I'm telling you right now there's no way I'm never going to be unconcerned about whether someone has received important info.

I don't understand the concern. If you didn't get an error, then they got the info. What they do with that info is their responsibility and their problem. It is not yours. You have done your job to communicate the info, as long as it was clear and readable. If it wasn't, then I am sure somebody would have told you so already. If the people are not using that info and they are expected to use that info, then raise it to those individuals directly, or their superiors.

Unfortunately I have to manually keep tabs on many people because they simply don't have the courtesy to acknowledge receipt of this info. I'm not losing sleep over it, but I'm never going to view it as acceptable or appropriate either.



Just to be clear, this isn't about a warm fuzzy feeling of me being "acknowledged." It's an administrative-minded "need" for acknowledgement. Think "10-4"

You are not in the police force and you are not using radio to communicate. People don't need to 10-4, because your email is digital, sent to specific people and there is no way that they could have misheard you because of crackles, or assumed that the message is directed to Big John Steele, instead of Big Jah Steel.

Radio is the exact opposite of an email, so hence why there are communication etiquettes / standards to acknowledge that you heard and understood the message. You are expecting something to happen that most people just simply don't do in any organisation.

 

[usagora]

No, YOU have perceived them to be different. Other people do not see it that way.

The fact you cannot understand this demonstrates the fundamental issue at hand.

So you're telling me you see NO difference between a wife saying, "I need my husband to acknowledge me" and an air traffic controller saying to a pilot, "I need you to acknowledge my last transmission" ? Come on . . .

Again, my point is this has nothing to do with my personal feelings, as in they're acknowledging my email making me feel special, important, or anything silly like that.

 

[Expos of 1969]

So you're telling me you see NO difference between a wife saying, "I need my husband to acknowledge me" and an air traffic controller saying to a pilot, "I need you to acknowledge my last transmission" ? Come on . . .

Again, my point is this has nothing to do with my personal feelings, as in they're acknowledging my email making me feel special, important, or anything silly like that.

You have not yet provided one valid reason why they need to acknowledge your emails. You have not requested them to provide you with information. They have received what you wanted them to receive. If they then do not do what they should do based on what you sent them, you and or they then have a problem that is worthy of attention.

 

[theSeb]

So you're telling me you see NO difference between a wife saying, "I need my husband to acknowledge me" and an air traffic controller saying to a pilot, "I need you to acknowledge my last transmission" ? Come on . . .

Neither of these scenarios have anything to do with your original post. One is a relationship communication issue and the other is a life and death scenario that requires specific protocols to be followed that are taught and ingrained into the participants. Your emails to other faculty members do not fall into either of those categories. I would put your email into my "info" folder and refer to it later, if I needed to.

 

[usagora]

I don't understand the concern. If you didn't get an error, then they got the info.

Incorrect. Just a few weeks ago I had sent an email to the same two teachers I referred to before and copied our director on the email. Our director is ALWAYS courteous and acknowledges emails (even if they're just informational), so I was surprised that she never replied after some time. When I saw her in the hallway a couple weeks later, I asked her, "Did you get that email I copied you on a few weeks ago?" And lo and behold, she hadn't. I never received an error from any email server. And, yes, I did go back and verified she WAS indeed CC'd on the email. So who knows why she didn't get it - the point is she didn't.

EDIT: You then replied

This is not how email works. Emails don't just get lost in the ether. People who try to claim that "they didn't get the email" are lying, or deleted it by mistake, or have set up an automated rule to put your emails into the trash, or you are on different email domains and their email server sees your email as junk and blocks it, or there is a serious problem with any of the email servers involved and requires some IT attention. All of these problems are solvable without requiring 10-4 acknowledgement of your email.

There's a difference between the email being delivered to the email server and client and the person actually seeing and reading it. "Deleted by mistake" is EXACTLY the kind of thing I'm referring to. They could also have accidentally marked it as read or archived it somehow without realizing it. I guarantee you the lady in question was not lying or ignoring me. We've been friends and worked together for 15 years now.

 

[theSeb]

Incorrect. Just a few weeks ago I had sent an email to the same two teachers I referred to before and copied our director on the email. Our director is ALWAYS courteous and acknowledges emails (even if they're just informational), so I was surprised that she never replied after some time. When I saw her in the hallway a couple weeks later, I asked her, "Did you get that email I copied you on a few weeks ago?" And lo and behold, she hadn't. I never received an error from any email server. And, yes, I did go back and verified she WAS indeed CC'd on the email. So who knows why she didn't get it - the point is she didn't.

This is not how email works. Emails don't just get lost in the ether. People who try to claim that "they didn't get the email" are lying, or deleted it by mistake, or have set up an automated rule to put your emails into the trash, or you are on different email domains and their email server sees your email as junk and blocks it, or there is a serious problem with any of the email servers involved and requires some IT attention. All of these problems are solvable without requiring 10-4 acknowledgement of your email.

 

[usagora]

Ok, this is getting ridiculous, so let me make one final post and then I'm out.

All I'm saying is that it's the courteous AND responsible thing to do to acknowledge important/critical info about your job that someone who's coordinating things for you sends you. If you don't, then that means I'm now having to take yet more time to follow up with you to be sure you received this info. Simply not getting an email error on my end is NOT a guarantee the email was received, let alone read. And if I just assume you read the info, but you didn't, now I have a problem on my hands because people aren't prepared, and I was responsible for making sure they were. So I HAVE to follow up. The point is, I shouldn't HAVE to follow up with grown adults who did indeed receive the email. They should be responsible and courteous enough to take the initiative to confirm they received the critical info relating to a job they've agreed to do. Unfortunately, some here think it's excusable. That's not surprising to me, but it's a shame.

 

[theSeb]

Ok, this is getting ridiculous, so let me make one final post and then I'm out.

All I'm saying is that it's the courteous AND responsible thing to do to acknowledge important/critical info about your job that someone who's coordinating things for you sends you. If you don't, then that means I'm now having to take yet more time to follow up with you to be sure you received this info. Simply not getting an email error on my end is NOT a guarantee the email was received, let alone read. And if I just assume you read the info, but you didn't, now I have a problem on my hands because people aren't prepared, and I was responsible for making sure they were. So I HAVE to follow up. The point is, I shouldn't HAVE to follow up with grown adults who did indeed receive the email. They should be responsible and courteous enough to take the initiative to confirm they received the critical info relating to a job they've agreed to do. Unfortunately, some here think it's excusable. That's not surprising to me, but it's a shame.

Making your font size bigger is not going to make your point any more correct. I hope that you do not communicate in the work environment, like you are doing here.

You are expecting something from people that is not the norm. You believe that it is courteous and responsible. Others are trying to tell you that this is not necessarily the case and not how people use email. You seem unable to see things from anybody else's perspective other than your own. You can either continue to grumble about it, or try to understand that people are different to you and be proactive and do something differently.

Simply acknowledging an email, without being asked to, is not something that the majority of people will do. It is not a normal convention.

If it is your responsibility to ensure that people are prepared and you are only sending an email and hoping for a "got it", this would tell me that you haven't performed your duties. In this case it is clearly part of your job to specifically request a response by such and such date. If you do not receive a response, then you should follow up with those people. Then finally you should prepare a neat little summary of who responded and who didn't and aim to find out why.

It would also have been a good idea, if this information is super important, to set up a meeting with all of the people and go through the information with them to make sure they understood it all before sending long emails with lots of information - people don't generally read those. A snazzy powerpoint with some animations helps a lot. It would also be a good idea to keep a note of who attended and who did not.

Once you have done all of that you can say that you have performed the duties you were responsible for. This topic is not really about acknowledging email. This is about communicating effectively in a work environment.

 

[yaxomoxay]

Oh my, lots to unpack here. Let's start with the reply to my message.

I actually never asked a question. I'm simply venting about people who can't be bothered to reply even with a couple words to acknowledge they've received an important message or email.

No action is mandated on the receiver's part. Ever. Do you honestly think that most people reply to every work email with "got it", "thanks"? From last Saturday morning I received 832 work related emails, plus a few automated reports etc. Do you think I am going to answer to all of them even with a simple acknowledgment? I'd be dead by now.

That's NOT how XXI century email works. Most emails are scanned at most, that's why a good subject and a good BLUF are pivotal, on top of great reputation as a sender. I swear, I can't stand long emails that are unnecessary, with long intro paragraphs that have nothing or little to do with the main issue/task. I can assure you that my bosses like them even less; more often than not a single line with a good subject line is very effective (what I do, I usually integrate the action item to the subject. e.g.: "FOR APPROVAL: Publication of Report on Email Usage").

Also, the emails are between two other teachers and me, not between teachers and parents, and definitely not a mass email. The teachers obviously have a responsibility to be on top of these things.

Not knowing the particulars of the case, I can't say where the problem lies, but I sense that you have an expectation that is not met, while at the same time you're not clarifying to them what they need to do.

And I'm not talking about wanting a response within 24 hours or anything. I'd say even a week to reply would be fine. But they NEVER reply. For instance, I sent them an email in early June about changes to the curriculum starting later this month and have yet to receive a reply.

Did they change the curriculum?

It's not something that requires a response in the sense of I need information from them; I'm just saying it's common courtesy to acknowledge receipt of important information like that. You know, a simple "Thanks for the heads-up! We'll let you know if we have any questions."

Sorry, but not on emails. I agree that the best course is to reply with a thanks, especially to avoid miscommunication, but that's not a courtesy that I'd expect. Once I send it out, I am good. I did my part.
Also, why don't you enable the delivery receipt and the read receipt?

I guess I can start including a specific request for them to acknowledge receipt, but I just haven't in the past because it feels sort of like something I'd have to request of kids, not adults.

And you'd be wrong. If you expect an action of any kind, as simple as it might be, you should state it. Always.
I do write on my emails, often bolded, due dates, and "please confirm" or stuff like that. If you think an action - ANY action - should be triggered by your message, then write it to them. It's common courtesy to a reader that took the time to read your unrequested message.

Lastly, I never said anything about Facebook being the same as email. The example I gave was someone messaging ME on Facebook and I responded to them. My point was they never bothered to reply back, despite the fact that I was addressing THEIR concerns and offering THEM a resolution. That's just rude/inconsiderate.

You never said anything about FB being the same, but you're treating it the same way. One hour for a FB message? A long one? That's not for Facebook, which is a mess by iteslf. Also, if the conversation started as a confrontation I wouldn't expect anything back on that medium. It's a miracle you didn't get a "f- you" message.

I understand, and I'm not going around huffing and puffing about this all day. But I'm telling you right now there's no way I'm never going to be unconcerned about whether someone has received important info.

Then state it! "Please acknowledge receipt of this email." Heck, even put it in your signature.

 

[yaxomoxay]

When I saw her in the hallway a couple weeks later, I asked her, "Did you get that email I copied you on a few weeks ago?" And lo and behold, she hadn't.

This is usually slang for "I haven't read it", "I discarded it on receipt," or "I forgot about it."
Not nice, but it's the truth.

 

[decafjava]

@yaxomoxay preach! My job as an academic coordinator includes a lot of (and I mean a lot) of emails to organize lectures, visits, remind students about deadlines, and so much more that I also go crazy. Everything you wrote makes sense and I will be incorporating some of your advice into my own routine. Thank you.

 

[ucfgrad93]

As @yaxomoxay said, if you expect a particular action then you should state it in the email.

 

[KaliYoni]

I agree it can sting when a message that took a lot of time and effort to write goes unacknowledged (if a tree falls in a forest when nobody is there to hear it....right?). But I think if one desires each recipient to confirm receipt, it is important to ask for a reply both at the beginning and at the end of the message. Expectations are more easily met when they are clearly communicated.

In my experience, especially in work settings, people are always trying to reduce how much time they spend managing email. So, it has become acceptable to only reply to messages if you have a comment or information to add.

 

[AngerDanger]

Are you kidding me? How is sending mass emails to strangers even remotely relevant to what I'm talking about (emails between colleagues or personal acquaintances)?

Both have the possibility for the sender to overestimate the importance of their emails and wonder why they’re not getting responses.

Plus, the trajectories of both threads are pretty similar as are the responses you’re getting.

 

[NoBoMac]

This is usually slang for "I haven't read it", "I discarded it on receipt," or "I forgot about it."

Add: and higher up the food chain, "why am I being CCed on this? This is for my reports to deal with."

In my experience, especially in work settings, people are always trying to reduce how much time they spend managing email. So, it has become acceptable to only reply to messages if you have a comment or information to add.

Yep. Basically a memo was sent out and everyone handled it as such. If the email had been "Hello person-name-here, FYI, these are the upcoming changes we'll need to address", now you've got a more personal exchange, which would/might get a "thanks" response. Been this way for ages, imo.

 

[Airforcekid]

Email/text/chats has always been the lowest priority for me I can get 1,000 plus emails a day at my job for something that's really important a call/in person talk is the best way to get a point across.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Something that has irritated me greatly for years now is people who can't be bothered to take the time to acknowledge important emails or messages that I send (and I'm sure they do it to others as well). For instance, I teach and coordinate several classes at a non-profit. Throughout the year, I send emails to communicate with the other teachers about important changes that are coming, touch base about events, etc. I rarely get a response. To me, this is very inconsiderate towards someone who's taking the time to carefully communicate this information. I'm not asking for a treatise as a response. Even just a simple "Got it - thanks!" would suffice. But I rarely get that. I mean, no one is too busy to type at least a short one-sentence response. It's annoying to have to keep asking people, "Did you get my email?" because I'm not sure if they did or if they never read it.

Another recent example is I had someone express a concern to me in a Facebook message. I took at least an hour (between thinking, writing, and revising) to write a 300 word response on the sensitive topic, carefully responding to their concerns and giving them options for a resolution. It's been 2 weeks, and they never replied back or even acknowledged my response.

So, if you're reading this and you think not responding to important emails or messages is supposed to be acceptable and that others are supposed to somehow know for sure you read it and what your thoughts on it were, please know that it's inconsiderate to leave others hanging and require them to have to keep following up with you. Even if it's something that requires a longer response from you, and you don't have time at the moment to read the whole email or reply in full - just respond with, "Just wanted to let you know I got your message and will reply in full as soon as I'm able" etc. What did that take, 10 seconds?

We have a company policy that you don't send thanks emails. It works so much better. We work in email, teams and other platforms all day. Last thing I want is even more emails saying they saw my email etc. Everything I write is important. Otherwise I don't write it! If I have sent someone an email they either need to action or it or its for their information.
If people mark there emails as important, I'm more likely to ignore it. What YOU consider important, doesn't even make my top 10 important things to do today!

And some of us are too busy. Thats why I work all day and most evenings as well.

 

[yaxomoxay]

We have a company policy that you don't send thanks emails. It works so much better. We work in email, teams and other platforms all day. Last thing I want is even more emails saying they saw my email etc. Everything I write is important. Otherwise I don't write it! If I have sent someone an email they either need to action or it or its for their information.
If people mark there emails as important, I'm more likely to ignore it. What YOU consider important, doesn't even make my top 10 important things to do today!

And some of us are too busy. Thats why I work all day and most evenings as well.

I use the important option only if the due date for action is less than 48 hours AND the item is truly important.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I use the important option only if the due date for action is less than 48 hours AND the item is truly important.

When is anything ever wanted with that long a deadline?