People who turn their lives around

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Junk DNA, Mar 18, 2009.

  1. Junk DNA macrumors regular

    Junk DNA

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    #1
    Okay, so I'm struggling a lot with various financial and emotional issues & stuff at the moment and I'm just wondering:

    Do you personally know of anyone who's like was a real car crash, but who managed to turn it around ?
     
  2. fireshot91 macrumors 601

    fireshot91

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    #2
    Yes- My parents.
    Close to 4 years ago my dad didn't have a job, my mom had a (semi-low) paying job, my brother worked at McDonald's after school every day and sometimes till midnight and gave all of the money to my parents.


    Now, my dad and my mom both have jobs, we're living in a ~$900,000 house, with 5 vehicles for 3 people. I'd say we turned our lives around.
     
  3. Junk DNA thread starter macrumors regular

    Junk DNA

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    #3
    That's pretty amazing. Were there specific turning points ?
     
  4. CalPoly10 macrumors regular

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    #4
    But what did they do?
     
  5. NC MacGuy macrumors 603

    NC MacGuy

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    #5
    I know someone that left everything he had except his dog and a suitcase of clothes. Car, truck, motorcycle a house full of worldly possessions - left it all. Now he owns a small company and is doing pretty well. Sometimes a change of scenery does wonders.
     
  6. fireshot91 macrumors 601

    fireshot91

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    #6
    Err, saved, no excess spending of any sort. We had one computer in the house, and that got us by. We also just only bought a used PS/2 (Only to keep me happy I guess?).
    My dad barely bought any clothes (He still doesn't, he saves a lot of money), my parents barely bought clothes also. I got most of my clothes from my brother/cousin since I'm the youngest in our family. Instead of actually buying bed-frames, we just put a mattress ontop of a (the thing that goes under matresses in some bed-frames). We just moved to the U.S on Dec. 30th, '01.
     
  7. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #7
    that cant be the whole story

    without income (or a drastic change since you said your dad didnt work and your mom had a low paying job) you cant save and if you can its not at a good amt a week. i mean you still have to buy food and live somewhere which is far from cheap

    dont just say save as thats not just it....

    what did your parents do to drastically turn their life around?
     
  8. fireshot91 macrumors 601

    fireshot91

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    #8
    Literally just saving!.
    We had one car, that got us by, my mom had a ~$65,000 job, my brother worked at McDonalds every day, My brothers stuff payed for the food (We didn't go out much at ALL). My mom's job payed for the house/car and various spending's. But about a quarter of it went into the bank every month.
     
  9. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    Feb 19, 2005
    #9
    No offense but chill out. The kid said that is how it happened so just leave it be. He may or may not even know. On the surface it may be as he said, between his parents it could have been something entirely different.

    As for me, I've seen people go the other way more so than not. The only real huge success story I know is not my own to tell but given what the man seemingly came from and what he has today (great family+great business), he's pretty much a hero in my eyes.

    FYI: A ~$65k a year job is hardly consider "low paying" in many parts of the world. This could explain things a bit.
     
  10. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #10
    lol i wasnt "unchilled" at all. i just was pointing out a fact. i dont like the spreading of impossible fairytells so to speak. there had to be other factors

    65k is a relatively high paying job....more than what im making out of college as an engineer


    low paying means like 8/hr

    but yea, kudos to your fam for sure
     
  11. Junk DNA thread starter macrumors regular

    Junk DNA

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    #11
    I guess what I'm trying to understand is whether there can be some kind of "mental shift" where people turn from just coasting along or even messing up in life, into people who get a grip and turn their lives around.

    And if that can happen, whether its a slow gradual shift or sudden move...
     
  12. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #12
    My immediate reaction also.

    A frugal nature does pay dividends. My trips to my haberdasher [​IMG] are somewhat "limited". I spend very little on impulse items. I have to "earn it", so to speak.
     
  13. allmIne macrumors 6502a

    allmIne

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    #13
    Dukebound doesn't need to chill, he's questioning a story which doesn't really add up. Even disregarding tax, 1/4 of 65k is circa 16k - so 64k saved in four years, ex brothers job and any random income sources. 900k house and 5 cars? Leveraged, much?

    I believe they did well, there's just maybe more to it than that. Props, anyway :)

    OP, things will get better. Set small, fairly achievable goals. For example, try and sort out any financial issues, leaving comparatively baggage free when tackling emotional problems.
     
  14. fireshot91 macrumors 601

    fireshot91

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    #14
    Err, yeah, sorry for the "Low-Paying" thing. I guess its not low to many people, but yeah... That was my mom's first job, and it was in a company that my aunt owned. Once the manager found out that my mom was sisters with the CEO of the company, she got some more respect. But she was doing like 4 people's jobs at once.
     
  15. Junk DNA thread starter macrumors regular

    Junk DNA

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    #15
    Thanks. Am trying to tackle the problems in a consistent - small steps - type way. But given the really bleak economic background its pretty difficult to see how on earth I'll ever get things together. Hence, look for some inspiration in the post.
     
  16. jonbravo77 macrumors 6502a

    jonbravo77

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    Phoenix, AZ
    #16
    I'm going through what you are, it's not fun. Our house value plummeted, trying to get a loan modification, in debt now since the wife lost her job.. It sucks. I know it's hard to look at the brighter side of things, like being alive, healthy, maybe having good family/friends around, but it's something that you have to do or you will just fall deeper and deeper. I look towards the future but taking it day by day. I know things will get better and I keep just pushing forward and that's the key, going forward...

    I know it's not much help, but it's what I live by and it makes me feel better and able to face the bad times.. hang in there...
     
  17. McGiord macrumors 601

    McGiord

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    #17
    To be successful you have to have a plan and stick to it.
    Plan, Do, Check, Act.

    Many immigrants are very successful in doing this. Why? They live to their limits, they come from a very hard live condition/situation and take every single opportunity as the only chance they have to make a living. They work hard instead of wasting their time and save most of the money they earn. Then they invest in important things that allows them to make more money.
    Some don't do it alone, they help each other.

    My father works for a company whose owner arrived into our home country many years ago with just a suitcase full of shirts, his plan was sell all of them and then with that money reinvest in something else. That person found his way around by saving and reinvesting up everything up to the point when he was owning several businesses.

    You first have to live without overspending, and eliminate all your debts, and find ways to generate more income and reduce your spending until you are back on track.

    Think positive and be clear of what you need to do.

    If you have many debts you can negotiate them, think out of the box and you will find ways to have total control of your life. It's not easy, requires hard work.

    Work hard for your goals, and in the long run they will pay off.

    I remember a baseball player who was interviewed many years ago in a local TV channel, when he was playing for a local non major league team, he said that his dream was to play in the major league. And 8 years after that he is one of the best players of the Baltimore Orioles,m and currenlty is representing his home country in the World Baseball Classic Championship.

    Take all opportunities, investigate, investigate, make your plan and develop it, check your results, and act based on the results.
     
  18. Junk DNA thread starter macrumors regular

    Junk DNA

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    #18
    You are right - even though things are pretty rough at the moment I know I have a lot to be grateful for. Its just there;s this constant stress where you're dreading what might turn up in the post.... and I'm not sure how I will refinance debts etc... but I am lucky I have a job - if I lost that now I really think I would just go under.

    Also, things are so bad right now my mind goes in the opposite direction. Like the other week I spend ages contemplating buying a Mac Pro ! Which there is no way I can do, and I won't do. But my brain just went into fantasy mode.
    Well, good luck to both of use !
     
  19. McGiord macrumors 601

    McGiord

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  20. Junk DNA thread starter macrumors regular

    Junk DNA

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    #20
    Good points.

    I have managed to get my spending under control. In the last year I stopped buying gadgets, expensive meals out, gym membership, etc. Its a relief to get this under control because in the past I spent in really stupid ways.
    This week I started keeping a spending diary so I can see where else I can save.
    The next big challenge is various financial/tax type things which I have let slide and I'm now trying to get a grip on though it is a struggle.

    I should point out that I know that 85% of my financial problems are actually of my own making - so its not like I'm blaming the world. I'm just trying to get a bit inspired to tackle the mess
     
  21. Junk DNA thread starter macrumors regular

    Junk DNA

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  22. followme macrumors regular

    followme

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    #22
    Yes. My brother wasn't in debt, but he lived at home with my parents and accomplished little. Didn't have a job even by his mid-20's... not even a part time job. No job at all. Stayed in his room the whole time, had virtually no friends he hung out with, and played computer games all day long.

    In his late 20's, he's now got a job working for a lawyer, lives in his own apartment, just recently broke up with a girlfriend (but had one!), and owns and takes care of a cat. He's like a normal person now. Complete change. He used to be anti-social, but he even came to visit me and my wife in Japan and seemed like a good guy.

    Now... my father-in-law. That guy had a complete turn-around in his life, but not for the better.

    He used to be non-religious Catholic. Then he turned into hyper-Pentecostal, burn all statues and items with weird symbols, de-curse the house by blowing a trumpet every morning, virtually disown his daughter for not believing the same as him, passive-aggressive make everyone into an evil demon if they didn't follow his teachings. Heck, my wife and I are even regular church-going Christians, but he condemns us as demonically possessed.


    If you turn your life around, make it for the better!
     
  23. bobfitz14 macrumors 65816

    bobfitz14

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    #23
    i couldn't choose who to quote over the whole ~$65,000 salary situation so...
    i realize $65k is a good amount of money, but for 3 people in this economy isn't that well off is it? i mean you could probably get by but wouldn't money be tight in that situation?

    the reason i'm ending almost all of my sentences with a question mark is because i am only 16 and don't have a salary, i know what my parents make, but i don't know how much they spend in reference to that figure.
     
  24. Eanair macrumors 6502

    Eanair

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    Feb 27, 2009
    #24
    Agreed.

    $65K is hardly low paying, unless you're talking from a relative point of view and your neighborhood is particularly affluent.

    The average household income in 2007 in the USA was approximately $50,000. A single salary of $65K/year is well above that mean.

    But back to the topic at hand, I think that a combination of having a support network and attitude is a major factor in being able to turn your life around. I grew up in a financially disadvantaged situation, and there were times that my mother had to sell some of our possessions to get money so we could buy food. Even though there were times that were difficult, she kept a fantastic attitude about life. She was positive, encouraging, and really instilled in me that even though life may be filled with troubles and disappointments, to still keep going, keep trying, keep pushing, keep reaching. Don't lie down and take it, because you are worth more than that.

    I guess it worked in the end. I eventually got into a very good school, got an academic merit scholarship for my degree, and am currently doing just what I dreamed of doing.
     
  25. Junk DNA thread starter macrumors regular

    Junk DNA

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    #25
    A support network would be great - sadly that is one of the things I lack
     

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