Okay, so back in grad school, a friend of mine (we'll call him Ray) and I used to drive down from Baltimore to teach a class at UMCP. One beautiful spring afternoon, we decided it was too nice a day to spend indoors so we got someone to cover for us and decided to go fishing instead.
Unfortunately for us, a lot of people had the same idea. The spot where we ended up along the Patuxent was pretty crowded. Hey, no problem. Since the only trail ran along one side of the river, we waded/swam across the river and found a nice spot on the other side. We hung out for a couple hours drinking beer and not catching any fish.
Eventually, the sun started to set so we pack it in and head back. This is about when the trouble started. I had switched my regular glasses for a my shades, a pair of very dark alpine glacier glasses, back at the car. So I was having a progressively harder time seeing because I'm practically blind without my glasses. But by itself, this wasn't so bad.
Then I started feeling a strange tugging in my shorts.
I have a collapsible fishing pole that I used to carry in my car. The last section would often get stuck in the extended position. I'd just reel the line in until the hook was secure and leave it like that. Only this time, the section had worked its way loose and collapsed, leaving the hook to dangle on about a foot of fishing line. Which promptly got tangled up in my shorts, an inch away from the jewels.
There was nothing I could do right then, so I just pulled the hook away from my body and kept walking. Until we got to the point where we crossed the river. At this point, the hook's gotta come out because there's no way I'm going cross the river with a barbed hook so close to my nads. Taking my shorts off really wasn't an option I wanted to consider because I'd chosen a bad day not to wear any underwear.
Because I can't really see, Ray kneels down in front of me with a multitool to see if he can't untangle the hook. Eventually, we end up so I'm facing the river and he's on his knees facing me. It hasn't yet occurred to us what this might look like from across the river.
So on the other side of the river, people are heading back to their cars, seeing us and suddenly walking a lot faster. That's weird. Then I see a guy who we had talked to earlier in the day about good fishing spots passing by with his sons. Nice guy. He sees us and I wave to him. Then he grabs his kids and practically takes off running.
"That's weird."
"What?"
"I just waved to that guy and he took off."
Ray looks up and I look down. Our eyes meet. (I think. I had on sunglasses.) It takes a few seconds but it slowly dawns on us why all those people on the other side of the river are acting so funny.
"Oh ****, let's get out of here."
I still can't cross the river with my shorts in this state, so I cut the hook out out, leaving a small hole in the front of my shorts. No problem, I'll just hold it closed.
So we make our way back to the parking area, having successfully avoided contact with anyone when we realize there's a police car there. There's a couple guys talking to the cops and one of them points. At us.
So the cops approach us and I kinda raise my hands and start with the, "Whoa, it's not what it looks like, we can explain."
And that's right when Mister Happy decides to poke his head out to see what the fuss is about.
That was a looooong conversation with the cops. At one point, Ray freaked out and called his lawyer because he thought he was going to get kicked out of med school for this.
Neither of us ever went back to that fishing spot.
Unfortunately for us, a lot of people had the same idea. The spot where we ended up along the Patuxent was pretty crowded. Hey, no problem. Since the only trail ran along one side of the river, we waded/swam across the river and found a nice spot on the other side. We hung out for a couple hours drinking beer and not catching any fish.
Eventually, the sun started to set so we pack it in and head back. This is about when the trouble started. I had switched my regular glasses for a my shades, a pair of very dark alpine glacier glasses, back at the car. So I was having a progressively harder time seeing because I'm practically blind without my glasses. But by itself, this wasn't so bad.
Then I started feeling a strange tugging in my shorts.
I have a collapsible fishing pole that I used to carry in my car. The last section would often get stuck in the extended position. I'd just reel the line in until the hook was secure and leave it like that. Only this time, the section had worked its way loose and collapsed, leaving the hook to dangle on about a foot of fishing line. Which promptly got tangled up in my shorts, an inch away from the jewels.
There was nothing I could do right then, so I just pulled the hook away from my body and kept walking. Until we got to the point where we crossed the river. At this point, the hook's gotta come out because there's no way I'm going cross the river with a barbed hook so close to my nads. Taking my shorts off really wasn't an option I wanted to consider because I'd chosen a bad day not to wear any underwear.
Because I can't really see, Ray kneels down in front of me with a multitool to see if he can't untangle the hook. Eventually, we end up so I'm facing the river and he's on his knees facing me. It hasn't yet occurred to us what this might look like from across the river.
So on the other side of the river, people are heading back to their cars, seeing us and suddenly walking a lot faster. That's weird. Then I see a guy who we had talked to earlier in the day about good fishing spots passing by with his sons. Nice guy. He sees us and I wave to him. Then he grabs his kids and practically takes off running.
"That's weird."
"What?"
"I just waved to that guy and he took off."
Ray looks up and I look down. Our eyes meet. (I think. I had on sunglasses.) It takes a few seconds but it slowly dawns on us why all those people on the other side of the river are acting so funny.
"Oh ****, let's get out of here."
I still can't cross the river with my shorts in this state, so I cut the hook out out, leaving a small hole in the front of my shorts. No problem, I'll just hold it closed.
So we make our way back to the parking area, having successfully avoided contact with anyone when we realize there's a police car there. There's a couple guys talking to the cops and one of them points. At us.
So the cops approach us and I kinda raise my hands and start with the, "Whoa, it's not what it looks like, we can explain."
And that's right when Mister Happy decides to poke his head out to see what the fuss is about.
That was a looooong conversation with the cops. At one point, Ray freaked out and called his lawyer because he thought he was going to get kicked out of med school for this.
Neither of us ever went back to that fishing spot.
