The ports are really no big deal. What it means is that you and every other user can now use those ports exactly how they need them. Previously Apple had to make a decision about what ports to include, and that meant that it was a compromise for everyone. For most peripherals, you don't actually need a dongle. You need a new cable. Or you need to carry a single adapter like the Digital AV adapter that Apple sells. It weighs about an ounce. Someone who carries a bag with a DSLR and everything that requires, plus a MBP with them really is stretching to complain about carrying a new adapter or two.
If you are typing so hard on the keyboard that it physically hurts, you should consider altering your technique. Typing is a learned skill just like everything else, and nobody who teaches proper typing form will teach you to type hard. Every good keyboard has a very subtle feedback mechanism built into the switch that indicates that the key has been fully depressed before bottoming out the key against the case. If you bang on the keyboard you will never feel that feedback mechanism. The Apple butterfly switches reward this typing style.
All of your complaints boil down to a resistance to change. It's always been tough to be an Apple customer long-term if you aren't willing to have things completely up-ended every few years.
