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Question for single guys
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- Start date
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Ya Im to nice.Your conclusion sheds a great deal of light as to why you might still be single.
thejadedmonkey and kalisphoenix are absolutely right.
What does a nice, single guy hanging out on a computer forum have to offer a girl?
"umm.. I like mac's.. warcraft is cool... vista sucks" That won't appeal to any woman. Or at least any woman that you would want to be with.
Niceness has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING. Are you attractive? Intelligent? Can you hold a great conversation and are you social/active/ambitious? Depending on your age - do you have a job? Live with your parents? Have you read any good books lately? Are you financially stable?
Thats what matters. Niceness is completely irrelevant.
What does a nice, single guy hanging out on a computer forum have to offer a girl?
"umm.. I like mac's.. warcraft is cool... vista sucks" That won't appeal to any woman. Or at least any woman that you would want to be with.
Niceness has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING. Are you attractive? Intelligent? Can you hold a great conversation and are you social/active/ambitious? Depending on your age - do you have a job? Live with your parents? Have you read any good books lately? Are you financially stable?
Thats what matters. Niceness is completely irrelevant.
*raises eyebrow* Any woman you'd want to be with? Interesting. And what sort of criterion would that encompass? I've seen amazing women on these forums and quite a few people would love to be with them.
I think a lot of people would disagree with that.
Quite right. It'd be great if my significant other (when I bump into her
) happens to be interested in technology, or football/rugby, or surfing, or anything that interests me, just as much as fashion or more 'girly' things. And vice versa.Which leads on nicely:
Ahhh but your assuming that all I do is talk on mac forums but welll... it's just not true yes I do like macs and techno toys and for some reason I enjory writing on online forms from time to time. Buuuut this isnt my major occupation, I'm a skiier in the winter a kayaker in the summer I read books, watch movies, I cook, I do pottery, and listen to alot of music...oh and I've never played warcraft.at t
(edit-I'm not a professional skiier or kayaker I just spend alot of time doing it at the moment I work in a bakery)
And I would deffnitely consider myself a "nice" guy whatever you take that to mean.
I think my trouble getting a date stems more from my habit of getting to be close friends with everyone i'm attracted to and then I worry about doing something to dammage a friendship I genuinely care about (nasty break ups and such). Also I have a habit (I call this the Seinfeld effect) of picking some insigniffcant thing about a person and using it as a reason not to ask them out. (...or mebe i'm just a commitment phobe?)
I am just different. That is why I am single. Admittedly people consider me to be quite. The truth is I just don't want to talk to them. They don't interest me. I know I have a different way of looking at the world and how I understand the world is different to most people. I read, surf, work, and I live with my parents. People say I am smart. But when I am being a jerk I get more smiles from girls than when I am being nice. Like over the break I worked at Target. Basically if you were as ass to me I was an ass back. If young girls about my age was within ear shot they would give me a big smile. So next time I want to pick up I am going to be an Ass and see if I do better.
No no no no... I'm not talking about anybody specifically, and your absolutely right when you say that by being active (kayaking/skiing, reading, and cooking) you add something to the equation. Im not flippant enough to say MR members can't have dates or aren't relationship/marriage material. All I am saying is that if all you think you have to be is "nice" then THAT is short-sighted.
All relationships are much more complex than "niceness", and it is irrelevant if my partner is "nice" - what matters is are they interresting, fun and attractive.
Thats all. I don't think we disagree. and again - no I wasnt talking about you at all.
in my experience, it seems like only the "jerks" get the girls b/c they actually go for it and try and date the girl instead of being thier friend. nice guys finish last b/c they dont push their agenda and give more merit to the girl than themselves. girls like a challenge, not a male "girlfriend"
I wish there would be a warranty on the human relationship. If it fails in 3 years, you can terminate the relationship without any hitch or money back (which would be good).
In some societies, there is a negative connotation toward being single. But, in my opinion, people should not be pressured into finding a mate to form a couple simply because of the social pressure. When you die, you will die alone regardless you are with someone or are married.
In some societies, there is a negative connotation toward being single. But, in my opinion, people should not be pressured into finding a mate to form a couple simply because of the social pressure. When you die, you will die alone regardless you are with someone or are married.
No see there's the "nerd stay-at-home-trying-to-get-his-computer-to-be-a-web-server" Alex and the "social-funny-friendly-NICE-outgoing-flirtatious" Alex. And although the girl knows all about my inner nerd, it rarely shows itself.
While I'm home I'm like this, and while I'm with her I'm the perfect gentleman. It's not good when worlds collide. (Like George in Seinfeld. "Independent George is DEAD! She's KILLING independent George!)
Just remember, there is a difference between being nice and being a pushover. I think that some people think that they are being nice, when in fact they are just setting themselves up for situations that allow someone else to take advantage of them.
Women want you to respect them, and they want to be able to respect you.
Women want you to respect them, and they want to be able to respect you.
Why do single guys always think, "Why am I single? I'm a nice guy." Why do all single guys think they're nice and sweet, and that girls don't appreciate how nice and sweet they are, while the "bad boys" always seem to get the girl. Maybe these guys aren't nice or sweet.
I'm just asking because I know a guy who's single, and he's not exactly the nicest or sweetest guy. He's a "nice" person and cool to hang out with, but I mean, I don't think he exemplifies a "nice" or "sweet" person. He's the type of guy who tries to pick up girls every time he goes to a club or bar. He's not the stay-at-home type, which is what I envision these ultra "nice guys" to be like. Anyway, we were all talking about dating and stuff, and he asked the girls at the table "Is there anything wrong with me? I'm nice. I'm sweet."
Couldn't believe he thought he was more sweet or nice than other guys. I don't even think he was the nicest and/or sweetest guy at the table.
(He's a good friend and fun to hang around with, so I'm not trying to insult him or anything by saying what I said)
The thing about nice guys is that 90% of them are, well, pansies. Nancy-boys. I'm not saying nice guys are bad, and that jerks are the winners. But nice guys need to stop being so damn nice. Be assertive for God sake. Stop buying her stuff all the time. Be playful and challenging. So instead of just walking and talking, have fun with her. While you're walking and talking, start leading her into a bush or a wall or something. Tell her a dog bit your neck the other day, and start rubbing your neck. Then tell her to feel the bite. As she starts to reach for your neck, snap/bite at her hand (maybe a playful nibble). Be playful and flirty! Stop giving her everything she wants.
E
emac kinda guy
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Question for single guys
I'm single and say I'm nice - even though I can have a pretty sharp tongue.
Plus I do a lot of internet dating. It's a great way to meet new people, even if it is a bit random. For those of you who like posting, check the forums on plentyoffish.com A great place to waste some time and maybe meet other single people.
I'm single and say I'm nice - even though I can have a pretty sharp tongue.
Plus I do a lot of internet dating. It's a great way to meet new people, even if it is a bit random. For those of you who like posting, check the forums on plentyoffish.com A great place to waste some time and maybe meet other single people.
I would love to meet a female mac adddict, not so much the warcraft part. Warcraft is cool to the people who play WarCraft. Others have a life to live
... how long have you played the dog biting act
Agreed on the "nice guys'' Any man that asks the question "I'm a nice guy, why am I single?" is pitiful bastard. There are other factors than just niceness. To answer the question of why you are single with just one trait is ridiculous, especially an overly generalized one.
Well I'm not sure its so much that, but they're wondering how all these other jerks could possibly get the girls when they know that they would treat them so much better than them. (The way they deserve to be treated).
I find that relationships, of all types, benefit from not having expectations except for mutual respect. Without pressure, feelings for others can follow their natural course of development. I find that warm friendships are more valuable in the long-term than 'conquests' (or failures).
That's a rather grim point of view. I agree that people shouldn't feel they have to find a mate simply due to social pressure, but most people want to have a partner. The people who actually are single through their own choice are pretty rare, and most of them are monks and the like.
You may die in the end, but that doesn't mean you can't do anything meaningful with your life, and sharing that life with someone is going to make it a whole lot more fun.
... ahh I keep rewriting this post... I know what you mean. But it depends on the situation. If you're talkin' about a guy like the one the OP mentioned, it's cause the guy is too arrogant. I have seen that the guys who say the phrase "why am I single? I'm a nice guy" are either overly confident, or lack confidence. Either way they are lookin' for pity, from others and from themselves.
