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Reproductive Cycle?

skunk

skunk

macrumors G4
Original poster
Jun 29, 2002
11,759
6,109
Republic of Ukistan
Is this a Scottish thing?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm
Bike sex man placed on probation​


A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.
Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.​
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Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.
Click to expand...

Yeah cuz I often drink, grab my bike, and do things like that. ;) Ok well I don't but I can't believe he has to be a registered sex offender for that crap.
 
what I don't get is how its a crime when he was doing it in his own private room. I mean, really who cares? Does the bicycle feel violated? I think not. How is this different than jerking off into a sock or using a sex doll?
 
I'm not too sure this is a first.


PeeWeeBike(small).jpg
 
This is just too much. The number of puns that can be had with this are just countless.:p

I suppose that's why you shouldn't drink while riding your bike.
 
plumosa said:
what I don't get is how its a crime when he was doing it in his own private room. I mean, really who cares? Does the bicycle feel violated? I think not. How is this different than jerking off into a sock or using a sex doll?
Click to expand...

Was he wearing protection......at least a helmet?

That's the only reason I can think of for the police to be involved......to give the man a ticket for riding that bike hard without a helmet.
 
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