Riddle me this: why are people buying land in the boonies to move out to one day?

[mj_]

This is something I've experienced ever since moving to the US a little over six years ago, and I feel it's happening more and more frequently.

I'm at a party or other social event, making small talk with friends of friends and almost every time I am at one of these social gatherings someone proudly exclaims that they have just purchased a tract of land, somewhere between 5-15 acres, somewhere out in the boonies in the middle of nowhere at least an hour or two away from the city. They plan to build a house there and move out once they're retired, they're old, the kids are in college, etc. pp. It's always the exact same spiel. Mind you, this is not coming from people trying to escape an inner-city apartment in overpopulated urban areas such as San Francisco, Chicago, or New York but people already living in what can only be described as suburbian mansions 20-30 minutes away from the city.

Whenever I ask people why the response is always along the lines of "I don't want to grow old in the city" or "I want to escape city life" or "I want more land". As someone who has lived either directly in or in the suburbs of big cities my entire life (the smallest city I have lived in was Detroit, with a population of around 640,000) this is something I find impossible to understand. Why would I want to escape the benefits of cities, especially if I already live out in the comfort of suburbia? Why would I want 10 acres of land? Why would I want to drive 20 minutes or more to the next grocery store, 30 minutes or more to the next hardware store, or an hour or more to the next medical facility (especially if I am going to need the latter much more frequently as I grow older)?

What am I missing? Is this a cultural thing deeply engrained in the American mindset that oen must own land and that I as a foreigner that wasn't raised in this country simply cannot understand? Have I not been exposed to my fellow citizens long enough to develop the deep misanthropic hatred that would drive me out to the middle of nowhere? I honestly am completely flabbergasted and lost as to why this seems to be the norm rather than the exception around here.

Has someone here done this recently and if so, can you help me understand?

 

[MarkC426]

One question: where the heck are the 'boonies'....?
Is it somewhere like they drive to in Breaking Bad with the RV?

 

[OtoPA]

This is something I've experienced ever since moving to the US a little over six years ago, and I feel it's happening more and more frequently.

I'm at a party or other social event, making small talk with friends of friends and almost every time I am at one of these social gatherings someone proudly exclaims that they have just purchased a tract of land, somewhere between 5-15 acres, somewhere out in the boonies in the middle of nowhere at least an hour or two away from the city. They plan to build a house there and move out once they're retired, they're old, the kids are in college, etc. pp. It's always the exact same spiel. Mind you, this is not coming from people trying to escape an inner-city apartment in overpopulated urban areas such as San Francisco, Chicago, or New York but people already living in what can only be described as suburbian mansions 20-30 minutes away from the city.

Whenever I ask people why the response is always along the lines of "I don't want to grow old in the city" or "I want to escape city life" or "I want more land". As someone who has lived either directly in or in the suburbs of big cities my entire life (the smallest city I have lived in was Detroit, with a population of around 640,000) this is something I find impossible to understand. Why would I want to escape the benefits of cities, especially if I already live out in the comfort of suburbia? Why would I want 10 acres of land? Why would I want to drive 20 minutes or more to the next grocery store, 30 minutes or more to the next hardware store, or an hour or more to the next medical facility (especially if I am going to need the latter much more frequently as I grow older)?

What am I missing? Is this a cultural thing deeply engrained in the American mindset that oen must own land and that I as a foreigner that wasn't raised in this country simply cannot understand? Have I not been exposed to my fellow citizens long enough to develop the deep misanthropic hatred that would drive me out to the middle of nowhere? I honestly am completely flabbergasted and lost as to why this seems to be the norm rather than the exception around here.

Has someone here done this recently and if so, can you help me understand?

It's not for everyone (convenience-wise), and I doubt that every single person has an innate need to do so. Why go Mac vs Android/MS/Linx etc.? There are likely benefits to your selected OS that you feel worth the lack of 'popularity'. We are a culture of expansionists and explorers and perhaps that's a factor. your question supposes that your values and weights of 'worth' are more valid than the responses already given to you.
on retirement, I went from 1/3 acre in upscale Scottsdale AZ to 55 acres in 'rural' Oklahoma. Works for me. I'm perfectly fine if your judgements of importance keep you where you're at.


o

 

[mj_]

One question: where the heck are the 'boonies'....?
Is it somewhere like they drive to in Breaking Bad with the RV?

It really depends. It‘s not as remote as the RV but some of the places are pretty far out, at least by my definition (which, admittedly, may be very different from other people‘s given that I grew up in densely populated central Northern Europe). Picture a house where the next human settlement with daily amenities such as a gas station, a grocery store, or a pharmacy is a 30 minute drive.

your question supposes that your values and weights of 'worth' are more valid than the responses already given to you.

I’m not trying to downplay anyone’s values. I am legitimately interested and trying to understand. I realize that I grew up under very different circumstances and have a really hard time understanding many of the things I see and experience around me. That’s why I’m trying to get a broader picture, and why I am trying to figure out what it is that I am missing. Or not understanding. Or misinterpreting. I know there must be something to it since I see it in many people in various stages of life all around me.

 

[eyoungren]

This is something I've experienced ever since moving to the US a little over six years ago, and I feel it's happening more and more frequently.

I'm at a party or other social event, making small talk with friends of friends and almost every time I am at one of these social gatherings someone proudly exclaims that they have just purchased a tract of land, somewhere between 5-15 acres, somewhere out in the boonies in the middle of nowhere at least an hour or two away from the city. They plan to build a house there and move out once they're retired, they're old, the kids are in college, etc. pp. It's always the exact same spiel. Mind you, this is not coming from people trying to escape an inner-city apartment in overpopulated urban areas such as San Francisco, Chicago, or New York but people already living in what can only be described as suburbian mansions 20-30 minutes away from the city.

Whenever I ask people why the response is always along the lines of "I don't want to grow old in the city" or "I want to escape city life" or "I want more land". As someone who has lived either directly in or in the suburbs of big cities my entire life (the smallest city I have lived in was Detroit, with a population of around 640,000) this is something I find impossible to understand. Why would I want to escape the benefits of cities, especially if I already live out in the comfort of suburbia? Why would I want 10 acres of land? Why would I want to drive 20 minutes or more to the next grocery store, 30 minutes or more to the next hardware store, or an hour or more to the next medical facility (especially if I am going to need the latter much more frequently as I grow older)?

What am I missing? Is this a cultural thing deeply engrained in the American mindset that oen must own land and that I as a foreigner that wasn't raised in this country simply cannot understand? Have I not been exposed to my fellow citizens long enough to develop the deep misanthropic hatred that would drive me out to the middle of nowhere? I honestly am completely flabbergasted and lost as to why this seems to be the norm rather than the exception around here.

Has someone here done this recently and if so, can you help me understand?

Hear hear, I'm with you!

I posted a thread here some time ago about rural living. Let's just say I hate it.

My father chose to live in the boonies where there are no sidewalks, shops close at 5pm (what little insignificant shops there were) and it's 25 minutes to the mall (the closest bookstore). That was in 1981 and I lived there throughout my teen/early adult years until 1997 and for a short two years again before my wife and I got out.

Mostly its because people want their space. They don't want to be bothered by noisy neighbors or any of the problems in cities (crime, lack of natural views, etc). They want to be able to do what they want when and how and be left alone while doing it.

Personally, I've always hated it. As a teen, it took getting my driver's license to be able to do something about it. I hate rural with all the invective I can possibly muster. Everyone knows your business, despite no one living anywhere near each other. Want a doctor, or have an emergency? Good luck, especially at night. Oh, property taxes are low and you don't answer to a city? Yeah, who's your fire department and police department? The county! Oh, and those city services you disdain - well, septic tanks suck, especially when roots from trees grow through them.

Have pets? Get ready to lose them. Coyotes. I lost more kittens and cats to coyotes than I care to think about.

My wife and I got out in 2000. Moved to Phoenix and we haven't missed leaving all that behind since. The funny thing is that AFTER we left, the place exploded with housing developments and shops! People from Orange County, Ca moved in because it was cheaper to buy a home out there and drive 3 hours in traffic back and forth to OC every day.

Again…rural sucks!

PS: https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/whats-your-living-preference-urban-suburban-or-rural.2056069/

 

[glindon]

It boils down to what people value, and if they have the means to have it. There are a lot of benefits to living on a large plot of land outside of cities. Peace and quiet. No one bothers you. Do whatever you want on your land. Wildlife. See the stars at night. Build your own house.

It’s not what I would do when I retire but I can understand why.

 

[glindon]

Hear hear, I'm with you!

I posted a thread here some time ago about rural living. Let's just say I hate it.

My father chose to live in the boonies where there are no sidewalks, shops close at 5pm (what little insignificant shops there were) and it's 25 minutes to the mall (the closest bookstore). That was in 1981 and I lived there throughout my teen/early adult years until 1997 and for a short two years again before my wife and I got out.

Mostly its because people want their space. They don't want to be bothered by noisy neighbors or any of the problems in cities (crime, lack of natural views, etc). They want to be able to do what they want when and how and be left alone while doing it.

Personally, I've always hated it. As a teen, it took getting my driver's license to be able to do something about it. I hate rural with all the invective I can possibly muster. Everyone knows your business, despite no one living anywhere near each other. Want a doctor, or have an emergency? Good luck, especially at night. Oh, property taxes are low and you don't answer to a city? Yeah, who's your fire department and police department? The county! Oh, and those city services you disdain - well, septic tanks suck, especially when roots from trees grow through them.

Have pets? Get ready to lose them. Coyotes. I lost more kittens and cats to coyotes than I care to think about.

My wife and I got out in 2000. Moved to Phoenix and we haven't missed leaving all that behind since. The funny thing is that AFTER we left, the place exploded with housing developments and shops! People from Orange County, Ca moved in because it was cheaper to buy a home out there and drive 3 hours in traffic back and forth to OC every day.

Again…rural sucks!

PS: https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/whats-your-living-preference-urban-suburban-or-rural.2056069/

Sounds more like your age, financial opportunities, convenience factors. I’ve lived rurally at times but I didn’t need the money when I did so it changes things.

 

[eyoungren]

Sounds more like your age, financial opportunities, convenience factors. I’ve lived rurally at times but I didn’t need the money when I did so it changes things.

My dad was around 46 when we moved out there. From a city, (Redlands, Ca) no less. He was an aerospace electrical engineer and my mom was a teacher - we could have lived elsewhere. But they chose to live rural.

I've heard all the romantic stories about how great it is, but I lived there for 19-20 years and for me at least, its not great. Sure, there were certain aspects (having a cherry orchard across the street from your house was cool) but for the most part it drove me nuts not being able to get out to a mall or a grocery store or a book store without having to plan the event.

Let's say I was rich and could afford to live anywhere. Wouldn't be rural.

 

[Adarna]

One question: where the heck are the 'boonies'....?
Is it somewhere like they drive to in Breaking Bad with the RV?

boonies is slang for bundok or mountains.

As to why older folks wanting more living space? They do not want to put up with the cons of living in a high density community.

Only reason I'd live within the city would be to be near a top tier hospital, multiple cheap fiber ISPs & at least 4G mobile coverage.

You can live wherever but if liquidity is a problem then anywhere can become hell.

 

[nicho]

on retirement, I went from 1/3 acre in upscale Scottsdale AZ to 55 acres in 'rural' Oklahoma

Out of interest, as a retiree what do you do with that land?

 

[macsound1]

I've always lived in the Bay Area and except for my job for the past 5 years, none of my life had anything to do with San Francisco.
So if I was to live anywhere else in the US, why would I care how far away the nearest metro was?
I've never cared about big cities but that doesn't mean "small cities" have anything less desirable.
The biggest plusses are lower cost to live, mostly free parking, space to roam on bikes, horses, atvs etc, and biggest of all, it's not always busy. Who wants to live in a city where every restaurant, bar, shop, and hotel is always busy?

Also, from living in the bay area, I live about 20 miles away from downtown SF, but during regular commutes, that's almost 2 hours.
So who cares if you lived 100 miles away from a metro area if the entire drive was at 70mph?

 

[AxiomaticRubric]

This is something I've experienced ever since moving to the US a little over six years ago, and I feel it's happening more and more frequently.

I'm at a party or other social event, making small talk with friends of friends and almost every time I am at one of these social gatherings someone proudly exclaims that they have just purchased a tract of land, somewhere between 5-15 acres, somewhere out in the boonies in the middle of nowhere at least an hour or two away from the city.

In many cases citizens want to move to the countryside because the cities no longer support their beliefs and values. Look at recent articles showing conflict between school boards and parents, for example.

 

[eyoungren]

…and biggest of all, it's not always busy. Who wants to live in a city where every restaurant, bar, shop, and hotel is always busy?

When I was growing up rural there was around two restaurants in the closest 'city' that saw business. Add, in the second closest 'city' and you got maybe three or four. Now, I have city in quotes because while being incorporated MAKES you a city, it doesn't mean you have a large population.

These restaurants were packed and busy every morning because they were the ONLY places to have breakfast unless you wanted to go 20 miles west down I-10 to Calimesa/Yucaipa or 30 miles east up I-10 to Palm Springs. And Calimesa/Yucaipa weren't Redlands, which was five minutes farther.

Same restaurants were busy during lunch because, again - only local restaurants. Not busy during dinner, because people ate at home and the local 'open only in the evening' restaurants opened (of which there were maybe 5 or 6 in total).

If you wanted something to eat other than what these restaurants had on the menu, you were out of luck. In the 80/90s there was none of this funny business of breakfast all day or lunch at 7am.

If you wanted donuts and coffee, you had Yum-Yums in Beaumont as your only chain choice. Fortunately for you, that's where all the Beaumont cops hung out.

Lots of people like rural for lots of reasons I hate it, I get that. I do not begrudge people their choice. But lack of choice and being restricted to what someone else has determined is the schedule and the menu for what is to be offered and when is not my choice.

If I want a hamburger at 3am I can get one in Phoenix. If I wanted a hamburger at 3am in Cherry Valley, that was a 30 minute drive to the last Carl's Jr to be open 24 hours in Redlands. Nothing else was open in Beaumont, Banning or Cherry Valley at that time of morning until the mid 1990s.

 

[OtoPA]

Out of interest, as a retiree what do you do with that land?

I've got about 15-20 acres of minimally disturbed grasslands as a watershed for my 1.5 acre pond (stocked, 20' plus deep, bass boat and kayak), about 20-25 acres in oaks and such with cut trails for walking, wildlife, and occasionally wood to restock stoves. I mow a few acres, (John Deere 3038e and Gravely zero-turn), garden, orchard and chickens. I shoot steel off my back deck. 2 barns for equipment storage, wood shop and stained glass shop for the wife. Retired, I don't need malls or Starbucks. FedEx, Amazon and USPS know where I live. No HOA. good roads and closest neighbor is 250 yds away. Are there drawbacks? sure.. Internet by ATT hotspot, but fiber here in 1-2 years. Well, with 30gpm of water, Whole house Generac, tornado shelter, 500 gal propane tank. When 'townies' were powerless from ice storm for 2 weeks... I was quite comfortable. I understand need for 'amenities', social connections and ease of workplace. I just find that I'm not driven anymore. Land ownership and care for me is important. I will continue to plant trees under whose shade I know I will never sit.

 

[TechRunner]

When the zombie apocalypse comes, zombies will have a much harder time stumbling through trees and underbrush and up steep hills than they will staggering down city streets...

Seriously, many of the people I know who do this suffer from "grass is greener" syndrome. They romanticize either rural or urban living (whatever is opposite of their current situation) and make the move when they retire. Some actually do end up loving it and stay. But many go running back to the situation they left when they find "opposite" living has more compromises than they expected.

 

[leifp]

I love the food scene in big cities and hate pretty much everything else. Thus, when I don’t feel like cooking I can take a trip into town for a nice dinner, maybe visit a Blues bar/pub for a drink, then zip home to my little spot of solace where coyotes and not cars can bray at me…

The fact that most people don’t fit into that mould works out great for most people.

That said, being around 50 years old plays pretty heavily into preferences. The noise and energy of cities has become less attractive as I’ve aged.

 

[Matz]

This is something I've experienced ever since moving to the US a little over six years ago, and I feel it's happening more and more frequently.

I'm at a party or other social event, making small talk with friends of friends and almost every time I am at one of these social gatherings someone proudly exclaims that they have just purchased a tract of land, somewhere between 5-15 acres, somewhere out in the boonies in the middle of nowhere at least an hour or two away from the city. They plan to build a house there and move out once they're retired, they're old, the kids are in college, etc. pp. It's always the exact same spiel. Mind you, this is not coming from people trying to escape an inner-city apartment in overpopulated urban areas such as San Francisco, Chicago, or New York but people already living in what can only be described as suburbian mansions 20-30 minutes away from the city.

Whenever I ask people why the response is always along the lines of "I don't want to grow old in the city" or "I want to escape city life" or "I want more land". As someone who has lived either directly in or in the suburbs of big cities my entire life (the smallest city I have lived in was Detroit, with a population of around 640,000) this is something I find impossible to understand. Why would I want to escape the benefits of cities, especially if I already live out in the comfort of suburbia? Why would I want 10 acres of land? Why would I want to drive 20 minutes or more to the next grocery store, 30 minutes or more to the next hardware store, or an hour or more to the next medical facility (especially if I am going to need the latter much more frequently as I grow older)?

What am I missing? Is this a cultural thing deeply engrained in the American mindset that oen must own land and that I as a foreigner that wasn't raised in this country simply cannot understand? Have I not been exposed to my fellow citizens long enough to develop the deep misanthropic hatred that would drive me out to the middle of nowhere? I honestly am completely flabbergasted and lost as to why this seems to be the norm rather than the exception around here.

Has someone here done this recently and if so, can you help me understand?

Thank you for posting this. Reading it (and the responses to it) has spurred me to once again pause and reflect on my own choices in this regard.

To be clear, I'm not someone who planned to live in a rural setting. I moved to my current location due to a job opportunity that happened to be in a rural setting. That said, I choose to stay here, as far as I know, for the rest of my life. So I can speak to some of the realities of rural living, and why I choose to remain here in retirement.

I retired a couple of months ago but have lived in this house (which happens to be on a working farm) for about four years. In the context of the eastern US, this would certainly be considered the boonies: The closest neighboring house is about 350 yards away, line of sight. By road it is significantly farther. The nearest grocery store is over 15 miles away. The nearest hospital is 25 miles, and, if we need an ambulance, the wait is at least 20 minutes. The nearest hardware store is about 35 minutes away. Actual restaurants are a minimum of 20 minutes away. Internet service is only available through satellite (HughesNet), which is abysmal, or cellular modem (Verizon), which is just barely good enough. Fortunately, Starlink is supposed to arrive here in March of this year. At least I hope so. Rural living, indeed.

The farm is nearly 600 acres, and besides crop fields, has two goat pastures, two ponds, sections of forest, and a couple of small streams.

Specifically, although I don't prefer to drive these distances for basic necessities, I willingly accept doing so as part of the cost of living on a piece of land upon which I could hunt if I needed to (I don't hunt for sport), fish in one of two ponds, take a long walk on something besides concrete or asphalt without having to worry about traffic, ride my mountain bike, or simply enjoy quiet and solitude - which I find that I need on a fundamental level.

There are neighbors, but we interact infrequently, and mostly while we are running errands to the aforementioned locations. We see each other at the post office, the grocery store, occasionally at a restaurant, or the pharmacy. That said, if someone needs help with something, it's willingly offered and almost always available within a reasonable time.

Is this a cultural thing deeply engrained in the American mindset that one must own land and that I as a foreigner that wasn't raised in this country simply cannot understand?

This is a deep and nuanced question, and I doubt that I can do it justice. But I’ll take a stab at it. Yes, there is some basis for the assumption that the need or desire for land is a cultural phenomenon. I think it's safe to say that Europeans moving to the US back then often self-selected based on a desire to be in the frontier, for whatever reason. That bias would tend to be reflected in the current culture. But evidence from back then suggests that most people preferred living close to others for community, protection, and economy. For every family living off the land, it took many more to provide the necessary goods and services to support their activities. So yes, although the US was largely settled by folks who wanted something different than what they had in their home country, not everyone, or even most of them, came here as pioneers seeking the wide open spaces. Many recognized the opportunities in providing services to those who we see as pioneers. Settlements developed into towns and cities, driven as much by social need as economic need.

And this remains true today. If you look at the geographic distribution of population in the US, most people live in towns and metropolitan areas, and far more services are found in those areas because it is more economically sustainable to provide them there. Evidently most people don’t want to live in a rural setting.

It seems to be human nature to idealize some things that are not part of our daily life; rural living is arguably one of those. It is a romantic idea for many to live in a more peaceful, uncluttered, and slower-paced environment. As others have said here, many, perhaps most, of the folks you describe are enchanted with the idea of rural living, without any real sense of what it entails. Many of those saying they would move 'out of the city' would flee back to their former living arrangements once they've had a taste of rural reality.

And that's a good thing. Having the population spread out over the land is economically, environmentally, and socially unsustainable, if you think about it.

Have I not been exposed to my fellow citizens long enough to develop the deep misanthropic hatred that would drive me out to the middle of nowhere?

I take this part of the question as a bit of drama to emphasize your point. I certainly hope that you don’t believe that wanting to live in the country means that one is a misanthrope.

I love people. I’m of the belief that forming and developing relationships with others is one of our highest endeavors as human beings, and essential to our survival. However, as I’ve grown older, I find myself less and less willing to endure crowds, large gatherings, and urban traffic. It’s not that I dislike people (quite the opposite). It’s just that those contexts have a different type and level of energy than I am comfortable with. To be sure, this preference is informed by several recent factors: COVID; the apparently higher potential for people to act out in inappropriate and often dangerous ways, including road rage; the fact that I find it easier to have actual meaningful conversations with others in a smaller venue; and that without quiet contemplation, my mind would be an even more dangerous neighborhood than it is. Bottom line, I generally prefer quiet over manmade noise.

Lastly, nature. The ability to see stars and planets in the night sky, seeing wildlife in something close to their natural habitats, and walking alone, or with my SO, through the forest, feeds my soul. I can do all those things here within walking distance of the house.

No place is perfect. There will always be tradeoffs to anywhere one chooses to call home. I’ve lived in a variety of places in the US, in two other countries, and have traveled to many more. It’s been a full and interesting life. This is now my home.

Thanks, again, for providing the opportunity to reflect on why I live where I do. My apologies for being so long-winded.

Peace.

 

[Airforcekid]

This is my plan main reasons: I can retire at 37, Starlink and 5G allows for excellent download speeds anywhere, No government interference with my life (I can run non-catted cars or fire guns in my backyard and don't have to worry about a Karen neighbor calling the city), Airports are everywhere and flights are cheap I can choose to go to LA NYC or Chicago whenever I choose for food or shopping and still pay way less than rent would be in those cities.

 

[OtoPA]

Thank you for posting this. Reading it (and the responses to it) has spurred me to once again pause and reflect on my own choices in this regard.

To be clear, I'm not someone who planned to live in a rural setting. I moved to my current location due to a job opportunity that happened to be in a rural setting. That said, I choose to stay here, as far as I know, for the rest of my life. So I can speak to some of the realities of rural living, and why I choose to remain here in retirement.

I retired a couple of months ago but have lived in this house (which happens to be on a working farm) for about four years. In the context of the eastern US, this would certainly be considered the boonies: The closest neighboring house is about 350 yards away, line of sight. By road it is significantly farther. The nearest grocery store is over 15 miles away. The nearest hospital is 25 miles, and, if we need an ambulance, the wait is at least 20 minutes. The nearest hardware store is about 35 minutes away. Actual restaurants are a minimum of 20 minutes away. Internet service is only available through satellite (HughesNet), which is abysmal, or cellular modem (Verizon), which is just barely good enough. Fortunately, Starlink is supposed to arrive here in March of this year. At least I hope so. Rural living, indeed.

The farm is nearly 600 acres, and besides crop fields, has two goat pastures, two ponds, sections of forest, and a couple of small streams.

Specifically, although I don't prefer to drive these distances for basic necessities, I willingly accept doing so as part of the cost of living on a piece of land upon which I could hunt if I needed to (I don't hunt for sport), fish in one of two ponds, take a long walk on something besides concrete or asphalt without having to worry about traffic, ride my mountain bike, or simply enjoy quiet and solitude - which I find that I need on a fundamental level.

There are neighbors, but we interact infrequently, and mostly while we are running errands to the aforementioned locations. We see each other at the post office, the grocery store, occasionally at a restaurant, or the pharmacy. That said, if someone needs help with something, it's willingly offered and almost always available within a reasonable time.

Is this a cultural thing deeply engrained in the American mindset that one must own land and that I as a foreigner that wasn't raised in this country simply cannot understand?

This is a deep and nuanced question, and I doubt that I can do it justice. But I’ll take a stab at it. Yes, there is some basis for the assumption that the need or desire for land is a cultural phenomenon. I think it's safe to say that Europeans moving to the US back then often self-selected based on a desire to be in the frontier, for whatever reason. That bias would tend to be reflected in the current culture. But evidence from back then suggests that most people preferred living close to others for community, protection, and economy. For every family living off the land, it took many more to provide the necessary goods and services to support their activities. So yes, although the US was largely settled by folks who wanted something different than what they had in their home country, not everyone, or even most of them, came here as pioneers seeking the wide open spaces. Many recognized the opportunities in providing services to those who we see as pioneers. Settlements developed into towns and cities, driven as much by social need as economic need.

And this remains true today. If you look at the geographic distribution of population in the US, most people live in towns and metropolitan areas, and far more services are found in those areas because it is more economically sustainable to provide them there. Evidently most people don’t want to live in a rural setting.

It seems to be human nature to idealize some things that are not part of our daily life; rural living is arguably one of those. It is a romantic idea for many to live in a more peaceful, uncluttered, and slower-paced environment. As others have said here, many, perhaps most, of the folks you describe are enchanted with the idea of rural living, without any real sense of what it entails. Many of those saying they would move 'out of the city' would flee back to their former living arrangements once they've had a taste of rural reality.

And that's a good thing. Having the population spread out over the land is economically, environmentally, and socially unsustainable, if you think about it.

Have I not been exposed to my fellow citizens long enough to develop the deep misanthropic hatred that would drive me out to the middle of nowhere?

I take this part of the question as a bit of drama to emphasize your point. I certainly hope that you don’t believe that wanting to live in the country means that one is a misanthrope.

I love people. I’m of the belief that forming and developing relationships with others is one of our highest endeavors as human beings, and essential to our survival. However, as I’ve grown older, I find myself less and less willing to endure crowds, large gatherings, and urban traffic. It’s not that I dislike people (quite the opposite). It’s just that those contexts have a different type and level of energy than I am comfortable with. To be sure, this preference is informed by several recent factors: COVID; the apparently higher potential for people to act out in inappropriate and often dangerous ways, including road rage; the fact that I find it easier to have actual meaningful conversations with others in a smaller venue; and that without quiet contemplation, my mind would be an even more dangerous neighborhood than it is. Bottom line, I generally prefer quiet over manmade noise.

Lastly, nature. The ability to see stars and planets in the night sky, seeing wildlife in something close to their natural habitats, and walking alone, or with my SO, through the forest, feeds my soul. I can do all those things here within walking distance of the house.

No place is perfect. There will always be tradeoffs to anywhere one chooses to call home. I’ve lived in a variety of places in the US, in two other countries, and have traveled to many more. It’s been a full and interesting life. This is now my home.

Thanks, again, for providing the opportunity to reflect on why I live where I do. My apologies for being so long-winded.

Peace.

a terrific, well reasoned response. best to you, from another rural resident, by choice..

 

[Mousse]

I've got some land out in the Sticks where I'm gonna build my retirement home. My reason are lower property taxes since we ain't paying school district taxes and municiple taxes. Still gotta pay county taxes though. And to get away from people. Decades of sardine packed city living ain't agreeing with me much. Ain't no nosy naighbers out in the boonies.

 

[TechRunner]

Thank you for posting this. Reading it (and the responses to it) has spurred me to once again pause and reflect on my own choices in this regard.

To be clear, I'm not someone who planned to live in a rural setting. I moved to my current location due to a job opportunity that happened to be in a rural setting. That said, I choose to stay here, as far as I know, for the rest of my life. So I can speak to some of the realities of rural living, and why I choose to remain here in retirement.

I retired a couple of months ago but have lived in this house (which happens to be on a working farm) for about four years. In the context of the eastern US, this would certainly be considered the boonies: The closest neighboring house is about 350 yards away, line of sight. By road it is significantly farther. The nearest grocery store is over 15 miles away. The nearest hospital is 25 miles, and, if we need an ambulance, the wait is at least 20 minutes. The nearest hardware store is about 35 minutes away. Actual restaurants are a minimum of 20 minutes away. Internet service is only available through satellite (HughesNet), which is abysmal, or cellular modem (Verizon), which is just barely good enough. Fortunately, Starlink is supposed to arrive here in March of this year. At least I hope so. Rural living, indeed.

The farm is nearly 600 acres, and besides crop fields, has two goat pastures, two ponds, sections of forest, and a couple of small streams.

Specifically, although I don't prefer to drive these distances for basic necessities, I willingly accept doing so as part of the cost of living on a piece of land upon which I could hunt if I needed to (I don't hunt for sport), fish in one of two ponds, take a long walk on something besides concrete or asphalt without having to worry about traffic, ride my mountain bike, or simply enjoy quiet and solitude - which I find that I need on a fundamental level.

There are neighbors, but we interact infrequently, and mostly while we are running errands to the aforementioned locations. We see each other at the post office, the grocery store, occasionally at a restaurant, or the pharmacy. That said, if someone needs help with something, it's willingly offered and almost always available within a reasonable time.

Is this a cultural thing deeply engrained in the American mindset that one must own land and that I as a foreigner that wasn't raised in this country simply cannot understand?

This is a deep and nuanced question, and I doubt that I can do it justice. But I’ll take a stab at it. Yes, there is some basis for the assumption that the need or desire for land is a cultural phenomenon. I think it's safe to say that Europeans moving to the US back then often self-selected based on a desire to be in the frontier, for whatever reason. That bias would tend to be reflected in the current culture. But evidence from back then suggests that most people preferred living close to others for community, protection, and economy. For every family living off the land, it took many more to provide the necessary goods and services to support their activities. So yes, although the US was largely settled by folks who wanted something different than what they had in their home country, not everyone, or even most of them, came here as pioneers seeking the wide open spaces. Many recognized the opportunities in providing services to those who we see as pioneers. Settlements developed into towns and cities, driven as much by social need as economic need.

And this remains true today. If you look at the geographic distribution of population in the US, most people live in towns and metropolitan areas, and far more services are found in those areas because it is more economically sustainable to provide them there. Evidently most people don’t want to live in a rural setting.

It seems to be human nature to idealize some things that are not part of our daily life; rural living is arguably one of those. It is a romantic idea for many to live in a more peaceful, uncluttered, and slower-paced environment. As others have said here, many, perhaps most, of the folks you describe are enchanted with the idea of rural living, without any real sense of what it entails. Many of those saying they would move 'out of the city' would flee back to their former living arrangements once they've had a taste of rural reality.

And that's a good thing. Having the population spread out over the land is economically, environmentally, and socially unsustainable, if you think about it.

Have I not been exposed to my fellow citizens long enough to develop the deep misanthropic hatred that would drive me out to the middle of nowhere?

I take this part of the question as a bit of drama to emphasize your point. I certainly hope that you don’t believe that wanting to live in the country means that one is a misanthrope.

I love people. I’m of the belief that forming and developing relationships with others is one of our highest endeavors as human beings, and essential to our survival. However, as I’ve grown older, I find myself less and less willing to endure crowds, large gatherings, and urban traffic. It’s not that I dislike people (quite the opposite). It’s just that those contexts have a different type and level of energy than I am comfortable with. To be sure, this preference is informed by several recent factors: COVID; the apparently higher potential for people to act out in inappropriate and often dangerous ways, including road rage; the fact that I find it easier to have actual meaningful conversations with others in a smaller venue; and that without quiet contemplation, my mind would be an even more dangerous neighborhood than it is. Bottom line, I generally prefer quiet over manmade noise.

Lastly, nature. The ability to see stars and planets in the night sky, seeing wildlife in something close to their natural habitats, and walking alone, or with my SO, through the forest, feeds my soul. I can do all those things here within walking distance of the house.

No place is perfect. There will always be tradeoffs to anywhere one chooses to call home. I’ve lived in a variety of places in the US, in two other countries, and have traveled to many more. It’s been a full and interesting life. This is now my home.

Thanks, again, for providing the opportunity to reflect on why I live where I do. My apologies for being so long-winded.

Peace.

I see in your signature that you're a member of the VA Herpetological Society. Soon I'll be relocating from the Commonwealth to Florida to be near my daughter, and this trail runner/hiker will sorely miss the woods and mountains of the Blue Ridge. Please enjoy them for me!

 

[mj_]

So much to dismantle here... first of all I would like everybody who responded.

@eyoungren It's very interesting to hear the opposite perspective for once. I always feel like I'm the only one who doesn't get it as pretty much everybody around me is talking about rural living as if it was the epitome of human existence, and I feel left out and somewhat alienated sometimes. The issues you mentioned are exactly what pops into my head first when I think about living in the countryside. My head immediately goes to all these potential problems whereas most other people do not seem to see them as such.

@Matz Yours was an immensly insightful response, thank you so much. The reference to misanthropy was obviously an exaggeration. I do, however, find myself wondering sometimes whether or not there is some truth to it solely based on the fact that almost universally whenever people move out to the countryside the main reason given is that they want to get away from other people. It may also be the way this sentiment is phrased, see Airforcekid's response above. I find this one of the hardest things to grasp because both me and my wife really enjoy the social and communal aspect of living around other people and bumping into them randomly on the street when walking the dog or playing outside in the driveway with your kids.

I think one of the most difficult things for me to understand is why my wife and I seem to be the only ones who don't have that dream of moving out to a huge tract of land at some point. All of our friends except for one seem to share that common dream. All of our immediate neighbors have mentioned it at one point or another since we moved to this house in the Austin suburbs almost five years ago. Some of them decided to cash in when the housing market exploded in 2020 around here and already acted upon their dream. A family that lived four houses down and that we became very close friends with when we first moved here has now moved out more than an hour away from us. Suffice it to say that we barely see each other anymore as a result of this but they seem super happy out there. Now that I am in my forties there seems to be a universal thread of praising the idea of countrylife all around me that I am not a part of, and I am trying to understand why. Maybe it's because I don't want to be late to the game. Maybe it's FOMO. I honestly don't know and don't understand.

 

[OtoPA]

So much to dismantle here... first of all I would like everybody who responded.

@eyoungren It's very interesting to hear the opposite perspective for once. I always feel like I'm the only one who doesn't get it as pretty much everybody around me is talking about rural living as if it was the epitome of human existence, and I feel left out and somewhat alienated sometimes. The issues you mentioned are exactly what pops into my head first when I think about living in the countryside. My head immediately goes to all these potential problems whereas most other people do not seem to see them as such.

@Matz Yours was an immensly insightful response, thank you so much. The reference to misanthropy was obviously an exaggeration. I do, however, find myself wondering sometimes whether or not there is some truth to it solely based on the fact that almost universally whenever people move out to the countryside the main reason given is that they want to get away from other people. It may also be the way this sentiment is phrased, see Airforcekid's response above. I find this one of the hardest things to grasp because both me and my wife really enjoy the social and communal aspect of living around other people and bumping into them randomly on the street when walking the dog or playing outside in the driveway with your kids.

I think one of the most difficult things for me to understand is why my wife and I seem to be the only ones who don't have that dream of moving out to a huge tract of land at some point. All of our friends except for one seem to share that common dream. All of our immediate neighbors have mentioned it at one point or another since we moved to this house in the Austin suburbs almost five years ago. Some of them decided to cash in when the housing market exploded in 2020 around here and already acted upon their dream. A family that lived four houses down and that we became very close friends with when we first moved here has now moved out more than an hour away from us. Suffice it to say that we barely see each other anymore as a result of this but they seem super happy out there. Now that I am in my forties there seems to be a universal thread of praising the idea of countrylife all around me that I am not a part of, and I am trying to understand why. Maybe it's because I don't want to be late to the game. Maybe it's FOMO. I honestly don't know and don't understand.

As to being late to the game, in many states, you already are. The result of urban flight is the rising costs in the unincorporated county. While the country itself is large, the 'Goldilocks' idea, applied to rural land, has driven prices up.

 

[Macky-Mac]

..... since we moved to this house in the Austin suburbs almost five years ago....

LOL, from the perspective of a lot of city dwellers, you've already moved to the "boonies"......so why did you move to the suburbs?

You've already taken that first step away from the urban world, and you say your social contacts all seem to want to move even further.....so perhaps it may be that your move to the suburbs was motivated by a reason that's somewhat similar to your friends who still want to go further out? Or maybe it's just bad luck that ALL of the people you know want a rural future.

In any event, there are actually people who love being outdoors in "nature", something they can't get in a city or a suburban area. Living out in the boonies means they can get that just by walking outside. Not all of these movers are doing it to escape other people.

An example; a friend who thinks she'll become a rural dweller so she can have a place where she can keep a horse. She's had several in the past but has always had to board them at some distance. She currently owns alpacas that she dearly loves, but they're boarded elsewhere and she'd love to be able to care for them herself.......and there's something she likes about the idea of having a few chickens running around the yard too.

Another friend plans on a cabin on a lake so that he can walk out to the dock and go fishing any time he feels like it.

Myself, I'm likely to remain a city dweller.

 

[JT2002TJ]

My parents bought land in the 80's and when they retired they built their dream house. It was great for 10-15 years. Now, they are all by themselves, far away from family/friends, have too much property/house to upkeep, and are unwilling to give up all they worked for/spent their money on.

I have always wanted to do the same, but am now rethinking it... Or I plan to do it for the last few years of my career, then when I retire (or a few years after), move back closer to civilization.