Sad and Depressed

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by iLoveMyMBP, Apr 16, 2007.

  1. iLoveMyMBP macrumors regular

    iLoveMyMBP

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Location:
    New York
    #1
    So my exgirlfreind ( god i hate saying that) just broke up with me after a 2 year long relationship. I feel that I dont have the willpower to go on anymore. I know people say that there are a million of fish in the sea but this feels 10000000% different. She went though so much stuff with me (personal stuff) and i feel like this is a huge mistake. I don't think I'll be able to find another girl as pretty, smart and sensitive as her.

    and please if you don't have anything nice to say....don't say anything at all...seriously
     
  2. swiftaw macrumors 603

    swiftaw

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Location:
    Omaha, NE, USA
    #2
    Sorry to here that. My girlfriend and I just broke up a month ago, and it hurt big time. I really thought she was the One. I wish I had some great advice, but all I can say is that time helps. What seems hopeless a month ago, seems a little less so now - not great, but a little better.
     
  3. iLoveMyMBP thread starter macrumors regular

    iLoveMyMBP

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Location:
    New York
    #3
    Yeah my girlfreind and I also were very close to getting married....we both bought each other rings and we were very close :( I know I'm young (22) but the more i try not to think about it... the more i can't help thinking...it just drives me nuts cause I'm wonder where she is... what she is doing... who is she with etc etc... i just can't picture her with another guy let alone another guy kissing her and massaging her like i did it drives me crazy:( :(
     
  4. swiftaw macrumors 603

    swiftaw

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Location:
    Omaha, NE, USA
    #4
    From your comments, it sounds like the break up wasn't your decision but hers. How did it end?
     
  5. siurpeeman macrumors 603

    siurpeeman

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2006
    Location:
    the OC
    #5
    my girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me last year. i really thought she was the one for me, but she didn't agree. so i know the pain you're going through, and i'm really sorry. :(
     
  6. iLoveMyMBP thread starter macrumors regular

    iLoveMyMBP

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Location:
    New York
    #6
    Yeah it was her choice...it ended by me sitting in her driveway in tears beeping my horn for her to come back out.... once she didn't come back out i left to come back home... came home smoked a few bowls to calm me down (sorry of thats not allowed to be shared) and posted about it... out of every single girl i've ever been with she is the only one i could ever picture spending the rest of my life with. I don't think I could ever find another girl who is as pretty, smart, sensitive as her. I don't consider myself the best looking guy in the world...she was my "ideal girl"
     
  7. furious macrumors 65816

    furious

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2006
    Location:
    Australia
    #7
    Try cake.

    How about friends. Have you spoken to them? Family are always there to support you.
     
  8. iLoveMyMBP thread starter macrumors regular

    iLoveMyMBP

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Location:
    New York
    #8
    I really don't have many friends and the only friend i had happens to be her sisters boyfreind...who is no longer my freind due to part of the reason why we brokeup
     
  9. SMM macrumors 65816

    SMM

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Location:
    Tiger Mountain - WA State
    #9
    I feel your pain, my friend. If you cannot recover this relationship, there is only one course - move on. I understand it is easier said than done. But nonetheless, that is what you need to do.

    It seems like you did not just loose a girlfriend, but more of a 'soul mate'. That is doubly tough. However, despair will not bring you comfort. My advise; get out of Dodge. Take a month-long vacation to somewhere you have never been before.
     
  10. furious macrumors 65816

    furious

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2006
    Location:
    Australia
    #10
    Dude:eek:

    That is the left and right. Remember keep your chin up. It may look bleak now but give it time. And stay off the grass. Worst time ever to be using depressants.
     
  11. iLoveMyMBP thread starter macrumors regular

    iLoveMyMBP

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Location:
    New York
    #11

    ahhh my freind if it was only that easy...about 6 months ago i was involved in a really bad ATV accident which left my left leg pretty *ucked up...I tore my calf muscel and achillies tendon out of the back of my leg...money is really really tight and i'm out of work i was denied social security and don't have any really other means of income right now. And losing the one and only person that i love truely is totally rock bottom for me :( :( (PS here are some pictures of my leg for you nonbelievers)

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  12. mustard macrumors 6502a

    mustard

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2005
    Location:
    NJ
    #12
    Think of the silver lining* there is one in everything. You are young enough to start a new a re-find yourself and prioirities.

    *It could have been worse if you found out that she was no longer interested in a relationship with 2, 3, 5, 20 years on down the road with the possibility of children being affected.

    Get drunk (or what every your fancy) and listen to Led Zepplin's - Whole Lotta Love. She may just come back - if not always keep in mind that their is a whole lotta love so share it.
     
  13. macmama macrumors regular

    macmama

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Location:
    New Jersey
    #13
    Oh dear. I'm really, really sorry. I hope things turn up for you, buddy.

    And your leg? I can't believe you've been denied any kind of assistance! :eek:
     
  14. MACDRIVE macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #14
    Those are some great looking scars! I'm not being sarcastic either, I think they look great. :) Are they on both sides of the same leg? It seems as though you had a lazy doctor that chose to use staples instead of stitches. I've got a permanent injury to my left arm that would make yours look like a scratch. ;)

    Getting back to the issue, I've been in your same situation; although it was a long time ago - 1992. It was really tough on me because not only did I love this girl, but I was obsessed with her also. Whatever amount of time I was able to spend with her was like a drug fix to someone who was substance dependant. What really made matters worse is that this was the WRONG girl for me. Of course I didn't realise that at the time while I was so damn obsessed with her. Did she feel the same way about me? Of course not. :cool:

    My depression was so bad that it permanently altered my brain chemistry to the point where I had to turn myself into the hospital. That's right, a lot of people don't realise that relationship break-ups can be dangerous to the right person. A lifetime of medication was the result of my break-up; without it, I would've done myself in a long time ago.

    I still think of her from time to time even 'til this day, but now it's just a passing thought that no longer hurts.

    I don't know what the normal time frame it's suppose to take for getting over a relationship; for me, it was at least two years. That's an extreme case though, I hope very much it won't take that long for you. It all depends on the strength of your mental health; that's why I suggest that you monitor yourself closely.

    Doing what you did tonight is a good start on a long road to recovery. The people here at MR are very good, kind, intelligent people that are willing to get you through this.
     
  15. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #15
    Stay off the smokes for now mate, I don't think they're going to do anything except make you feel more morose. It sounds like you've just got to pick yourself up and get moving again. Wallowing is the easy option, but it isn't going to help.

    Get a decent night's sleep, then make a special effort to accomplish something tomorrow. Doesn't matter what it is, just anything non girlfriend related that's been bugging you for a while. Get it done and give yourself a reason to feel good about something.

    BTW, both legs and hearts heal. It isn't as bad as you feel.
     
  16. TheDance511 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Location:
    California soon
    #16
    OH MY GOD... DONT ELT HER GET YOU DOWN... YOU LVOE HER AND JUST STICK IT OUT AND JSUT LIVE EVERYDAY AND YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE IT WILL i lsot my girl because she cheated on me... yeah after four or five years...it was awhile..soo..if i can ahndle it you can.. i loved her too.... important thing,,,,do wutever u want...if you feel like screaming do it..if you feel like kicking over a car then do it...do anything you want when you want...and it feels so good....sounds like crazy advice but hey it works...good luck i hope you do well..im rooting for you buddy..feel free to pm me if you need(jsut saying) good luck :) you can do this i donno you..but i do beleive in you :)
     
  17. MongoTheGeek macrumors 68040

    MongoTheGeek

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2003
    Location:
    Its not so much where you are as when you are.
    #17
    Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory, that lasts forever. The leg looks like it hurts almost as bad as the break up.

    Best thing to do is look for a job and get one. Make that your motivation for now. Any attempt at a relationship will be destroyed by the fresh wounds from this girl. Its too bad you don't have any friends outside of the common ones with her. Since they can be a good support network.

    You said you tore up your leg in an ATV accident. See if the local dealership is hiring or would be willing to hire you. If you have some really great stories and scars to go with it, it would make a great sales pitch.
     
  18. Keebler macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2005
    Location:
    Canada
    #18
    hang in there. rent that latest will smith movie...about the guy who never gave up. it's a true story.

    and stay off the weed man. it doesn't solve anything...just dumbs down the pain, but keeps it going. go through it sober....you'll feel alot better in the end.
     
  19. jadekitty24 macrumors 65816

    jadekitty24

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2005
    Location:
    The poor section of Connecticut
    #20
    As a "recovering pothead" I can say please please do not use pot as a crutch to get you through this difficult time. I abused it to get me through some traumatic experiences and it took me the better part of a decade to learn how to deal with things without it. It kills your motivation as well. I know all too well how much heart-break can hurt, but as tough as this might sound you have to pick yourself up and work towards bettering yourself. Be it recovering from your accident (which looks painful, by the way), finding a job, working out, whatever helps. Just know that you aren't alone. All over the world there are millions of people going through what your going through. I wish you luck. :)
     
  20. Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    #21
    Well base on this comment it was very recent so I will say you will get over it pretty soon. The shock should wear off in a little while and you will get better.
    If in 2 weeks or so and you feel like you are not getting better go get counseling. It helps a lot. Also do not write off getting medicated for depression but no competed psychiatrist going to give you anything for at least 2 weeks more than like a month and do not get any anti depressed prescript be a general doctor they just are not trained in the area you will need it.

    I will say a little year ago the girl I was dating broke up with me and between that and a few other events before hand and that followed I was sent into a very deep depression that I did not really start pulling out of 3-4 months and 6 months later I was still struggling with it and finally broke down and went to medication and that was where I pulled out of it.

    I do not think you will go as bad as I did because I have struggled with depression for most of my life and been battling since at least 2nd graded and I am 24 now (or will be tomorrow).

    All in all you are still in shock. Give it some time and the shock factor will wear off and then yes there will be some major pain but things will start getting better. Just until that shock value is gone nothing is going to happen. Until I saw you leg I was going to suggest find something to burn energy into. For me I pick back up mountain biking and that is help me out because it gave me something to burn my frustrations into and something I will push myself elsewhere physically so I can bet better at mtn biking. I just wish I pick it back up early.

    Oh btw things will get better weather or not you believe it now. I felt a lot like you after the my last girl friend broke up with me. Now over a year later I happy and dating a wonderful girl (that we been dating 7 months as of yesterday) So this will get better just give it a little time.
     
  21. poopyhead macrumors 6502a

    poopyhead

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2004
    Location:
    in the toe-jam of greatness (Fort Worth)
    #22
    a couple of years ago I went through a breakup with a girlfriend of 5.5 years (right after I had bought and engagement ring) it was possibly the worst thing I have ever been through. I ended up in the hospital and it completely changed my life and who I was.
    Do not drink
    do not smoke
    do not drink or smoke and call her

    It will take a long time to get over (possibly months to years) but the best thing to do (if it is truly over) is to break off all contact, completely reschedule your life, make sure you get out every day and do something, and try to find a purpose. Reorient your life and get rid or hide crap that remids you of her.
     
  22. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #23
    My advice- go develop some new friendships. It will take a while, but it's extremely important. And once you have good friends who are solidly in your life, consider dating again. However, DON'T let yourself get so wrapped up in one person that you forget your friends. If you do, you'll end up in this situation again. It sounds to me that this happened in your recent relationship, even though you haven't mentioned it.

    Oh, and I agree with everyone else here- lay off the pot. It will do you no good right now. The best thing you could do is concentrate on the job hunt and make new friends. It'll get better, but it's up to you to make it that way.
     
  23. the vj macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    #24
    Give time to time. You are in the middle of the storm or probably just after.

    Sometimes there is a point where we just can not control things as much as we try to. So the best way is to let things on God hands and let the pieces fall into place itself.

    The sun will shine, a little bit first and then a little bit more. Give time, she will coem around later on for sure. Just take your time for yourself and that is it, feel the peace, work around that passion because you are living it.

    Just let go, give time and nature chance to do what they do. She will be around but at her own time, not yours.
     
  24. quigleybc macrumors 68030

    quigleybc

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2005
    Location:
    Beautiful Vancouver British Columbia, Canada
    #25
    Couple things:

    In the last three years, I also

    -Crushed my leg/ankle, had to get SERIOUS surgery, and had insano scars like the pics you posted.

    -Got dumped by a girlfriend of two years
    Since then, I went back under the knife to get the plate out of my leg, voluntarily.
    Now my leg/ankle feels around 90% and I went skiing for the first time since the accident, and felt great.

    After i got dumped, I felt like crap for about two months

    Then I started just saying F' it and began hanging out with whomever, doing whatever. Just getting out of my place.
    Consequently, I found a new girlfriend, and I couldn't be happier.

    point is, I feel ya,
     

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