Slowly becoming a slave to the Watch, thoughts & why I'll probably be returning it.

[5105973]

The intricacies of relationships with your partner, friends or family soon after everyone realises that "you know/they know" that you have 'physically' received their presence yet chose to ignore it by minutes/hours or days can and will for some create tensions/problems. You make a number of good examples yourself with regard to the needy types or just those that feel it's their God given right to never be ignored. I also have to deal with feeling "obliged" to respond with immediacy because I'm the one that bought the watch and put myself in the thick of it. It's part and parcel of owning and wearing it, but it does come at a price.

Oh no doubt it can create problems and tensions. But at 48, I recall what it was like before cell phones and I can tell you needy demanding people were that way back in the 70's and 80's, too. Only back then you'd get an even bigger earful upon returning home at the end of the day because by then the person would have worked themselves up into a lather over not being able to reach you all day. As if you're supposed to do nothing with your day but sit by the phone waiting to cater to them. My parents and I heard enough petulant answering machine messages over the years, trust me.

If anything, the technology just forces me to lay it out on the table and settle things once and for all. There is no tension and no obligation because I already went over it with these people. I'm very blunt.

Once when I got harangued for not calling back fast enough I said simply, "What, you want to have conversations with me when I'm on the toilet now? I am sorry but I'm not free every minute of the day you know."

If they don't like it, they should not have gotten in my face to begin with. I was a "sweet nice girl" the first 35 years of my life and all it got me was heartburn and migraines and a to-do list of obligations a mile long. GrumpyMom has it so much better. And I have as many friends and loved ones now that I'm a grumpy old sow as I did when I was a sweet young thing. Only now nobody thinks they can push me around. They know better.

My "friend" is an exception only because clearly she is not mentally healthy. I'm not qualified to diagnose her but from my seat here in the peanut gallery she appears to have narcissism mixed with massive insecurity that manifests in massive melodrama. So I can not have a reasoned, logical discussion with her about it. It's impossible, I've tried. She gets insecure and accuses me and my family of hating her or her lovely children. It's ugly. I know if there were no phones, she would just simply show up at my door. I did have a similarly crazy neighbor once who did that. The only solution we had after repeated talks with that lady was to move!

So at some point either she will jettison me from her life or I will jettison her. It will be a shame for our children, who are good friends. Her children, though, are beginning to mimic her obsessive need to have what they want when they want it. One of her children now no longer accepts leaving voicemail messages and will dial and redial all the phone numbers they have for us until I intervene and tell her we are indeed too busy to accept her call right now. She is polite and apologizes for disturbing us. It's a bit odd. Perhaps her mother is egging her on. I don't know.

Parseckadet hits the nail on the head. The technology isn't creating the urgency to respond. That comes from within. And with conscious effort, it can be managed. People want what they want when they want it. They will become spoiled and demanding. It's up to you to set your limits and defend them. You shouldn't give up the Apple Watch unless you want to because it's an utter dud for you. It does so much more than push notifications, after all.

 

[susan12369]

I have found that I am actually interacting with real life more, now that I have the watch. My phone can go hours without being touched, which is a completely new experience for both of us. I do not have emails come to my watch, because I view emails as communications that I view/answer when I want to, and if I'm not at work then I get to choose when those times are. So now I get notifications about messages on the watch, which I can quickly look at and respond to or ignore, but I have found that more often during my day, my face is up! Actually seeing what's going on around me! That is one of the biggest bonuses of the watch for me.

 

[cwosigns]

So there are people in the forum whose dopamine levels are starting to come down now and are experiencing a manic to depressive swing. Not unexpected.

As such, some of the accompanying (depressive) criticism seems as excessive, if not irrational, as the initial (manic) praise. This is addressed not just to this poster but to many of the posts along these lines.

Notifications: Devices that nudge you do it by way of various means, e.g., sound, vibration, taptic taps, etc. How obliged one feels to respond to a nudge is an evaluation that only the user can make. You’re no more obliged to pull your phone out than to look at your wrist than to walk across the room to see what your iPad 'wants'. All of these devices let you scroll back through missed notifications; therefore, you can choose to look as a notification whenever it suits you. Some devices, you may feel, are more suited for more superfluous notifications, like 'word of the day' or less time-critical ones like movie x now available on iTunes. If you're like the Verge critic who had notifications going off like kernels of popcorn popping in a microwave then you haven't really thought about the roll of the device in your life in terms of what notifications you want from it. From the watch, I only want notifications that may really need my attention at that moment: phone calls, messages, dark sky storm update, delivery notifications. The other stuff can go to my phone. When you have the phone in your pocket and it goes off, it's hard to know whether it's important or not. It's the not knowing that makes one feel obliged to look. Now I know if it makes it to the watch, it may very well be important, but, if not, a two second glance and dismiss is more efficient than six seconds of getting the phone out, hitting the sleep/wake button on and then off again after looking at the notification and then putting it back in your pocket. With the watch I feel less like I'm having to take a brief time out from a current activity. Plus, once you have the phone out, in certain situations you think, oh, well while I have my phone out I think I'll check my _______ (fill in the blank with you social media of choice). There is less of that with the watch. A watch, for me, really does allow me to be more in my life.

For the people who have not worn a watch in years because of the redundancy of having a cellphone, whatever 'pain' one experiences with having to carry a second device is made up for, in my opinion, with what (1) I describe in the preceding paragraph and (2) all the smart functions available now and coming down the path. If you need screen real estate, you will fish for your phone; however, for activities that don't require screen real estate, like ApplePay or remotely pausing and playing iTunes or one day unlocking your car or house, setting the thermostat, etc. wearables will be where it is at and the watch seems like the most obvious wearable. (Honestly, I'm starting to look at analog watches as relics of a bygone era.) Eventually, they will become power efficient enough or will have better enough batteries so that producers will add GPS and a cell antenna. For many people, these devices will be good enough to allow them to leave their cellphones home. The watch will be the device that starts to cannibalize the cellphone; that's why Apple is making it.

You're making too much sense now.

It's true. The watch won't change who you are fundamentally. If you're a careful driver who ignores distractions while behind the wheel, the watch won't make you a distracted driver. If you're the kind of driver who still interacts with your phone while driving, then adding a watch into the mix will probably make it worse.

Likewise, if you're a slave to your phone then the watch will likely make it worse. However, if you are good at ignoring your phone when necessary, the Apple Watch will make the triage of texts, email, and social media notifications easier for you.

 

[usarioclave]

Hmm, maybe in the next software release you'll be able to restrict notifications to people on your favorites. That way your watch is for people you really care about, the phone is for the next circle, and your Mac/PC is for everyone else.

 

[bevsb2]

OP sounded-off a thought I had since the watch was announced:

Do I really want to be tethered to my personal communication device?

I think we all have that certain someone in our life who isn't worthy of an immediate response, let alone a response at all. Anyone who knows you have the watch will now be able to pull the, "why didn't you reapond?... You didn't get the message? But you your phone is attached to your wrist. Liar!".

That's a little unsettling for me, but I'm an introvert.

I'm also an introvert. I have never wanted to be in a position (outside of work) of having to answer a text or phone call immediately if inconvenient and don't. One problem I won't have with the Apple watch is this one. My friends are too busy making fun of me for buying an Apple watch and have no interest in learning about it's features to realize that I will know immediately when a text comes through. A significant other would be a little harder to fool.

 

[bushido]

haha i know what u mean. my mother used to flip when i would check my phone right before dinner. now shes about to blow up cuz i constantly check my wrist. one of the reasons i got the watch was so i could interact more with the outside world (yes i am an iPhone addict) but it only made things worde so this is oke of the reasons i am going to return it on friday

 

[greytmom]

I don't get the mindset of the OP, but certainly support his right to return the watch if he isn't happy.

Personally, getting a tap on my wrist doesn't somehow imply that I must respond right away. I respond when I wish to respond and when I am able to respond. Everyone I know realizes this. If I did have someone giving me hell because I didn't answer right away, I'd give them hell right back.

You don't need to take the watch off to wash your hands.

I didn't read through the whole post, but I do think that you need to tell yourself a different message than you seem to be doing right now. Tell yourself "the watch is simply an instrument that I use to keep myself organized. I decide when, where, and how."

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

 

[spiderman0616]

We're going to check our phones for texts, notifications, missed calls, etc. all the time. That's a given. There's no going back now--smartphones have trained our brains to do that. But what the watch does is it keeps us from going down the rabbit hole every time we get a piece of information. Instead of checking my texts and then "oh while I have my phone out I'll do this and this and this and this", I'm just dealing with the info, and moving on. To me, that's the mark of the success of this product.

 

[Alith]

This thread reminds me of the Verge review with the ridiculous staged bar scene. If you're engaged in something then simply don't look at the watch! The notifications will store up and when you are free you can scroll through them all.

 

[bushido]

This thread reminds me of the Verge review with the ridiculous staged bar scene. If you're engaged in something then simply don't look at the watch! The notifications will store up and when you are free you can scroll through them all.

OCD ... its like trying to sleep knowing the wrong side of your blanket is up. it doesnt affect your sleep but u still lay awake half an hour thinking about the fact that the blanket is upside down or the closet isnt completely closed. am i the only one? lol

 

[Marshall73]

I did the "cold turkey" thing yesterday. I packaged up the watch today and hit the Return button.

I mentioned elsewhere that I found the watch irritating – you've put your finger on one of the reasons why. I'm already over-connected: I don't need something else nagging me for attention. (Not that it's even reliable at doing that!)

Sent mine back on Wednesday and started missing it straight away. It just seems a terrible chore to pull out my iPhone to check emails and messages compared to a quick glance at the Watch. Unfortunately I am a slave to my connections as I support many clients and have to be available through the week. Looking forward to the replacement watch coming.

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We're going to check our phones for texts, notifications, missed calls, etc. all the time. That's a given. There's no going back now--smartphones have trained our brains to do that. But what the watch does is it keeps us from going down the rabbit hole every time we get a piece of information. Instead of checking my texts and then "oh while I have my phone out I'll do this and this and this and this", I'm just dealing with the info, and moving on. To me, that's the mark of the success of this product.

His is the perfect example of how I have found the Watch.

 

[Korican100]

am i the only person that got this watch that hardly uses it. I just love how it looks

 

[samiznaetekto]

am i the only person that got this watch that hardly uses it. I just love how it looks

I bet a dollar many celebrities are wearing the i⌚️ completely turned off.

 

[friedmud]

Admittedly I don't receive my Apple Watch until tomorrow so maybe I'll feel differently about it then... but for me it's almost the exact opposite.

Just last night while watching Game of Thrones my phone buzzed with an iMessage. It was on the other side of the room. I looked at my wife and said: "If I had my Apple Warch then I could see if I can ignore that... but I don't". So I had to pause the show and check it to make sure it wasn't something urgent from my family (which does happen - I know not everyone is in that situation).

Having an instant and convenient way to know if a message/email is urgent will really let me untether from looking at my phone.

Like I say, I may change my mind after I use get the watch.... We'll find out tomorrow!

 

[nick42983]

Good points here. The piece of tech that has been coming to mind recently is the ill-fated Facebook phone. Personally the only notifications I really care about are messages from people. I've read reviews where people say that the "clear all" notifications feature in the Watch needs to come to iOS. I've limited my notifications drastically so I don't have this need. I don't see the purpose of receiving most notifications directly to your wrist, its a stupid waste of time. If I get a Watch it will be for the fitness features, not Facebook/Twitter/Instagram etc. overload.

 

[mightyjabba]

One thing that's becoming clear is that people have very different approaches to notifications, in terms of how they feel about them and how many they normally use. I was already very conservative about how many apps I let notify me, so I only get a relatively small number of notifications on the watch, and I care about almost all of them. (I'm also very cautious about signing up for email mailing lists and the like.) So for me, making sure I don't miss any notifications is a major selling point of the watch.

 

[GrimmsGirl]

OP sounded-off a thought I had since the watch was announced:

Do I really want to be tethered to my personal communication device?

I think we all have that certain someone in our life who isn't worthy of an immediate response, let alone a response at all. Anyone who knows you have the watch will now be able to pull the, "why didn't you reapond?... You didn't get the message? But you your phone is attached to your wrist. Liar!".

That's a little unsettling for me, but I'm an introvert.

There's a very easy answer for this. No reason to lie and say you didn't get the message. Simply say, "I saw you called." or "I got your message." then follow up with "I was busy with something and couldn't respond. What's up?"

End of story.

If anything, I feel less tethered to my phone now.

One of my friends sent my watch into hyperdrive with some constant texting last week. She knows I have the watch, and I think she was deliberately trying to drive me crazy (in a funny way) with what she thought was a barrage of dinging and tapping on my wrist. Little does she know I have my watch on mute, the haptic feedback is very subtle and now that I get notifications on my watch, my phone doesn't beep and buzz like crazy anymore. Given all that, I found it incredibly easy to ignore the texts (unlike pre-watch when I would check my watch with every notification sound that came in) until I found time to stop what I was doing to figure out what she wanted. Ok, not an emergency... and when I finally got back to her, we had a lovely conversation. She didn't freak out that I didn't respond immediately, she knows I have a life beyond our friendship. If she didn't, we wouldn't be friends.

There is only one person I would respond to immediately as long as I wasn't in the middle of something critical for work, and that's my mother. Even my husband can wait. Then again, I would probably take his call too. If he's calling, 99% of the time it's important. If he has something frivolous to tell me, he waits until we're together, and he never texts. I'm not sure he even knows how.

 

[respectabilia]

I think this is more about controlling what notifications and alerts *you* choose to allow on to the Watch as opposed to being *forced*.

 

[avalys]

My experience is the complete opposite of the OP. I find I am a slave to my iPhone. Regardless of where I am in the house or where the phone is, or how busy I am with something else, if I hear the phone buzzing, ringing or making noise, I feel like I am pretty much obligated to go find out what's up and see if it's important. I don't feel like I can ignore the phone. And while I do generally have my phone somewhere near me, it's still a significant distraction to stop what I'm doing, grab the phone out of my pocket or pick it up from wherever it is, and check it.

With the Watch, I have it on me all the time, and it takes literally just a flick of the wrist to see the incoming notification and decide if it's worth dealing with right now or not. Basically no effort at all. It's great.

 

[Kavier]

I'll third that - the amount of messages that now 'wait till later' rather than opening up the app to see whats up has really declined. Before, once I'd picked the phone up to check the notification I may as well open the app and reply to the message.

Now I don't pick the phone up, if I see the message is fairly unimportant it gets dismissed, rather then pick phone up, unlock, reply, and be tempted to check other apps.

Dismiss. Done.

I'll fourth that! The watch lets me ignore others much more efficiently

 

[Antiloop]

am i the only person that got this watch that hardly uses it. I just love how it looks

Your not the only one. I don't really use it beyond telling time and checking the odd notification or my heart rate during a workout. And I have not problem with that. This is brand new and other uses will come in time. The best part of the watch for me is that it looks great! I have an additional band ordered and will likely order others if they release some really interesting (like one of the red or orange sport straps they had at the Milan Fashion week event). And the jellyfish motion watch face still makes me smile everytime I see it.