Slut

[itcheroni]

I had an interesting conversation with a female friend of mine (I'm a dude) the other day. She referred to dresses some acquaintances of ours were wearing(on a night out) as "slutty." Knowing that she was conservative, I asked her why she even takes the time to think about it and make a judgement call.

But my friend has a way of never understanding my point. For the next hour, she kept saying how she was conservative and would never dress or act like our acquaintances. And that if she hypothetically had a son that brought one of them home, she'd kick her out. Most of the conversation was just me trying to get her to understand that I wasn't asking her to do anything differently but understand my logic in not wanting to call a girl a slut or slutty, unless it's in a good way. I use it all the time. I tell my friends they look really slutty-to mean sexy or hot.

And then we talked about a distinction between "sexual" and "slutty." I may just be weird but I see a definite distinction between the two, but she had a hard time telling the difference, because after that, she responded, "then i'd say that the girls, in my book, were sexually explicit to be comparable to a soft porn movie... which i dont' find to be appropriate." I still don't think she has any idea what I was trying to say.

 

[3nm]

maybe your friend was jealous?

 

[SamIchi]

maybe your friend was jealous?

Or maybe just that time of month....

Girls pshhh don't try to understand. You'll live longer.

 

[itcheroni]

maybe your friend was jealous?

That may be a small part of it. But it's probably due to her being more reserved in appearance. Although she is getting a nose job in a month and trying to constantly lose weight, I don't think she'd dress too revealing even if she had the body she wanted.

But I just want her to understand my point of view.

Or maybe just that time of month....

Girls pshhh don't try to understand. You'll live longer.

Haha. I was at a party once and my friend(female) was talking to a guy. My friend's sister begins talking to a group of us, saying, "I think that guy over there is really into my sister... but that one bitch keeps following him around-what a slut! It's obvious he's into my sister, you bitch."

And I spoke up and said, "um, I think that's his sister."

To which, she said, "oh... well, then she's not a bitch."

 

[pianojoe]

maybe your friend was jealous?

Envious rather than jealous.

 

[SamIchi]

That may be a small part of it. But it's probably due to her being more reserved in appearance. Although she is getting a nose job in a month and trying to constantly lose weight, I don't think she'd dress too revealing even if she had the body she wanted.

But I just want her to understand my point of view.

Its like that one commercial, with the mother and son. Funny stuff.

 

[cycocelica]

Most girls are very judgmental of other girls, its just how it is. I just nod my head and smile when they say things like "that girl is so slutty." It makes them happy, plus you don't have to talk.

 

[Counterfit]

To which, she said, "oh... well, then she's not a bitch."

But she's still a slut?

 

[Xeem]

Another vote for the "girls hate girls" argument. Honestly, I've seen the nicest, most selfless girls you'd ever meet turn so suddenly and viciously against their own peers and friends so many times over the smallest little issues that I wonder how they'd ever had friends to begin with. My girlfriend drives me insane with her ability to derive personal insults from completely benign comments.

 

[3nm]

Another vote for the "girls hate girls" argument. Honestly, I've seen the nicest, most selfless girls you'd ever meet turn so suddenly and viciously against their own peers and friends so many times over the smallest little issues that I wonder how they'd ever had friends to begin with. My girlfriend drives me insane with her ability to derive personal insults from completely benign comments.

yep, i don't really understand gurls and jealousy. like my classmate, she'll purposely make out with her bf right in my face - i.e. at the lecture hall entrance, or at the door of my prof's office when i have an appointment. and she'll make sure that i look by staring at me when she's making out!

she seems nice and stuff, but i try to avoid her if possible.

 

[Queso]

Your friend needs a damn good shag by the sound of things

 

[iBlue]

Perhaps she's naive, judgemental and a little prude, but in addition she's probably just insecure and jealous so she rags on others to make herself feel better.

 

[0098386]

I'm not keen on the slutty type myself, I suppose I'm a little conservative. Round here the slutty types seem to be more bitchy, and violent. And ASBO magnets.

 

[Edandlindz28]

yep, i don't really understand gurls and jealousy. like my classmate, she'll purposely make out with her bf right in my face - i.e. at the lecture hall entrance, or at the door of my prof's office when i have an appointment. and she'll make sure that i look by staring at me when she's making out!

she seems nice and stuff, but i try to avoid her if possible.

Maybe she wants you?

 

[Queso]

Maybe she wants you?

No maybe about it IMO.

 

[itcheroni]

No maybe about it IMO.

Agreed. What are you waiting for?

 

[Mord]

I'm not keen on the slutty type myself, I suppose I'm a little conservative. Round here the slutty types seem to be more bitchy, and violent. And ASBO magnets.

aka chavs.

 

[Markleshark]

aka chavs.

Yup, can't say my GF would think I was referring to her as Sexy if I called her a Slut.

 

[3nm]

Agreed. What are you waiting for?

i've had quite a few pure physical relationships and i kinda wanna put that to an end. and i think anyone that tries to get another person's attention by making that person jealous is just immature and high maintenance.

to sort of relate this to the thread - when someone throws her/himself at you in a desperate/slutty way, it's kinda a turnoff. and i still don't get why some ladies love teh jealousy game so much!

 

[Lunja]

I just nod my head and smile

That's all the advice about women that a man will ever need

 

[macmama]

I asked her why she even takes the time to think about it and make a judgement call.

I daresay that you also make (perhaps hasty) judgments when you see a person's appearance sometimes, too, itcheroni? Of course your friend took the time to judge; that's how we evaluate pretty much everything in this world – with our judgment. Now, how you act on that and if you take the time to look a little further than first impressions says more about your character, but it's hardly unusual to think about what a person is trying to say with their choice of clothing.

maybe your friend was jealous?

Envious rather than jealous.

Most girls are very judgmental of other girls, its just how it is.

Another vote for the "girls hate girls" argument.

she's probably just insecure and jealous so she rags on others to make herself feel better.

Oh my word. Boys, boys. Simmer down now. Can I give you a piece of free advice from the (mature) ladies corner? You will get a lot farther in life with women when you abandon the notion that we're all spiteful, catty divas who have nothing better to think about than how tightly someone else' v-neck sweater fits. The OP's friend was making conversation (this nasty habit we girlies have). I cannot remember ever thinking a woman looked "slutty" and being jealous of her. Come on y'all; I have better to aspire to, and it sounds like the OP's friend does, too.

Re: itcheroni calling women "slutty" as a compliment – dude, it's not that nice a word. Widget dictionary defines slut: a slovenly or promiscuous woman. I've got to side with your friend on her bewilderment over that issue.

 

[itcheroni]

I daresay that you also make (perhaps hasty) judgments when you see a person's appearance sometimes, too, itcheroni? Of course your friend took the time to judge; that's how we evaluate pretty much everything in this world – with our judgment. Now, how you act on that and if you take the time to look a little further than first impressions says more about your character, but it's hardly unusual to think about what a person is trying to say with their choice of clothing.

I do, I don't deny it. But I really try not to form any negative opinion of another person which does not effect me, especially if they're just being/enjoying themselves. And my point is that my friend couldn't even understand why I would try to do that. I'm not even telling her she's doing anything wrong. I just wanted her to understand my POV.

Re: itcheroni calling women "slutty" as a compliment – dude, it's not that nice a word. Widget dictionary defines slut: a slovenly or promiscuous woman. I've got to side with your friend on her bewilderment over that issue.

Maybe it's just the group of friends I keep but, depending on the context, slutty is not a bad word. It really depends on how it's used. For example, there's a book called The Ethical Slut that, though it's not the point of the book, takes a little bit of the downside away from the word.

 

[devilot]

Oh my word. Boys, boys. Simmer down now. Can I give you a piece of free advice from the (mature) ladies corner?

*cough* iBlue is a mature woman.

You will get a lot farther in life with women when you abandon the notion that we're all spiteful, catty divas who have nothing better to think about than how tightly someone else' v-neck sweater fits... I cannot remember ever thinking a woman looked "slutty" and being jealous of her.

Um, I'm a woman and you can sure as hell bet that the female friends I've had, have all been pretty damned catty to me and I bet some of them felt I was catty to them. You cannot honestly deny that a ton of women are incredibly bitchy to and about each other! Seriously! Women are incredibly judgmental and hypercritical of each other.

And yes, I've known women to putdown another for being slutty and in some of those instances, it was jealousy because you can bet that had they felt they had a more attractive body, they'd have dressed just as (if not more) slutty as the woman(-en) they were bashing.

Re: itcheroni calling women "slutty" as a compliment – dude, it's not that nice a word... I've got to side with your friend on her bewilderment over that issue.

Just depends on which circles you travel in. I know that in some circles, slut, bitch, and yes the censored c-word (v. similar in spelling to "aunt") are compliments. Does that mean all women and men see those words in a positive light? No. But those words and others, can be and are seen as positive words in some sub-cultures and social circles.

 

[3nm]

I daresay that you also make (perhaps hasty) judgments when you see a person's appearance sometimes, too, itcheroni? Of course your friend took the time to judge; that's how we evaluate pretty much everything in this world – with our judgment. Now, how you act on that and if you take the time to look a little further than first impressions says more about your character, but it's hardly unusual to think about what a person is trying to say with their choice of clothing.

Oh my word. Boys, boys. Simmer down now. Can I give you a piece of free advice from the (mature) ladies corner? You will get a lot farther in life with women when you abandon the notion that we're all spiteful, catty divas who have nothing better to think about than how tightly someone else' v-neck sweater fits. The OP's friend was making conversation (this nasty habit we girlies have). I cannot remember ever thinking a woman looked "slutty" and being jealous of her. Come on y'all; I have better to aspire to, and it sounds like the OP's friend does, too.

i apologize that i just assumed.

i don't know, maybe it's the peeps that i've been with. when situation like this comes up, i'd just kinda assume that the person is bad mouthing others for his/her own gain.

i don't know how close OP's conservative friend and the "slutty" gurls are. but i know that my guy friends and i will not intentionally bad mouth each other to make a conversation.

 

[sushi]

Girls pshhh don't try to understand. You'll live longer.

So very very true!