Have you tried removing the card from Apple Pay and then adding it again? That will change the device card number used. Also, is BofA showing a declined transaction at all? I know they said that they didn't decline anything, but it would still show if you attempted it.
Yes I have removed and re-added. Still doesn't work. Went through the whole activation process with BoA and nothing.
Also, they see that they have been declined but say it's not them.
Pay partner. It should work there. The EX date is not one of the tokenized items, if it was wrong -that is a problem and would prevent the card from working.