Telling a Friend That I Like Her

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Creebe, Jan 8, 2011.

  1. Creebe macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    #1
    I just came back to my dorm from her dorm. She invited some of my residence neighbours and I to a little dry party. It is now almost 2am, but I'm still wide awake. All I can say is that I appreciate every bit of her and I have a lot of respect for her. I have known her for almost 6 years now - since grade 10, now I'm in my third year university. I don't know how this feeling should be officially classified, but I think I really really like her.

    I can't think of any other girl that I like right now. I don't know if she notices this or not, and I hope she does. This kind of uncertainty is killing me, and I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to make a change. I don't know what this is going to do to our friendship. I know her parents, and they know me. Her sister and I are also friends. She's one of the few people on this planet that I can cry in front of without feeling embarrassed.

    I feel that I should do something. My midterms are coming up in a month and I don't want this to affect my academic endeavours. However I'm scared that this might ruin everything and I would be screwed.

    I'm not trying to ask for advices specifically, maybe I just need a bit of consolation. But feel free if you would like to give advices. This is the internet, and I think there is room for a guy to be weak and emotional. I hide it well in real life though, and I am reluctant to tell this to my friends. That is probably why I feel so out of control.

    Thank you for your time...:rolleyes:
     
  2. Hellhammer Moderator

    Hellhammer

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    #2
    Ask her for coffee and tell her how you feel. It's not the end of the world if she doesn't feel the same toward you, you can still be good friends.
     
  3. doubleohseven macrumors 6502a

    doubleohseven

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    #3
    ...And you're asking this on a technology forum? :p

    Make a start. Make a change. The only thing you'll regret is not asking her!
     
  4. stridemat Moderator

    stridemat

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    #4
    QFT You will always regret it if you never find out. Life is for living and sometimes you have to take those opportunities that arise.

    The worst she can say is no.
     
  5. redAPPLE macrumors 68030

    redAPPLE

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    #5
    i suggest attacking this issue after your midterms.

    imagine this, you ask her next weekend (and talk about the "feelings" blah blah blah) and she doesn't appreciate how you feel and she basically "dumps" you.

    you'd get semi depressed, can't study as good enough, asking yourself, why and what and what not.

    that might make a huge impact (negatively) on your exams.

    then you might start hating this "friend" and it could get worse and worse.

    i suggest tell her how you feel. i know it sounds easy to give this advice, especially, when i am not the one asking the girl.;)
     
  6. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #6
    This is what I'd do. Honest.
     
  7. (marc) macrumors 6502a

    (marc)

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    #7
    +1, only Linux & programming forums would be even stranger choices :D
     
  8. stridemat Moderator

    stridemat

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    #8
    She could be a progamming major!
     
  9. SESpy macrumors regular

    SESpy

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    #9
    You should definitely aks her out on coffee and tell her how you feel. Since you know her a long time, you should know if she's a romantic or not. If she is a romantic, go wild a bit, tell her you can eat or sleep or drink but if she doesn't fancy the romanticism do NOT go wild :D or she'll think you're oversensitive and that's what she won't like ( if she isn't a romantic ) :)
    Just like the other people said, if you don't tell her now you'll keep wondering what would've happened. She'll eventually meet someone and you'll wanna be him and it will mess up everything.. Just tell her :)
     
  10. i3igsmooth5769 macrumors 6502a

    i3igsmooth5769

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  11. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #11
    Can you ask the girl how I can make my NAS accessible to people off my home network? Thanks
     
  12. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #12
    She could also giggle, or burst out laughing while pointing at you and walking away.
     
  13. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

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    #13

    Friend zone. Very, very, very, few ever escape it.
     
  14. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #14
    Perhaps, or maybe 2 peas in a pod, with her also being hesitant??

    Go forward, but softly.
     
  15. Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

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    #15
    Very true. I can tell you from experience that is the biggest regret. I have one I never told still regret it.

    I have had another friend who I used to have feelings for and told her. We dated for a while did not work out and now we are still good friend years later. Things were a little award for a while after we broke up but still friends.

    Worse case is she does not return the feelings and would tell you as such. Things might be a little weird for a little while but it will quickly pass. That weirdness is a very good trade off to not live with the regret.
    Best case is she has the feelings too. It makes moving into something more a lot easier because you do not have to deal with the getting to know you phase.
     
  16. KnightWRX macrumors Pentium

    KnightWRX

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    #16
    This isn't true. Never has been. Men and Women can't be "good friends". Men always want more. Would you just go out with a women to diner or do an outdoors activity, leaving your wife at home ? Of course not, what's the interest in that ?

    Tell her, if she rejects you move on. Don't stay stuck in the friend zone, you're just hurting yourself in the long run. And don't do a big romantic get up/showing. You already know what the answer is going to be probably.

    Ladder theory people. Stop fighting it, it's basically as close to scientific fact as it's going to get at this point.
     
  17. roadbloc macrumors G3

    roadbloc

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    #17
    Nonsense. I'm good friends with a girl I really like. I told her I liked her and she wasn't interested, so it ended at that. We are still good friends and although I do enjoy being in her company, I will not attempt to peruse her anymore unless she shows an interest, simply because I want her to be happy and doing so may result in the end of our friendship.

    It's been true for me.
     
  18. Apple OC macrumors 68040

    Apple OC

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    #18
    Chances are she only invited you folks over because she considers you all her friends ... she would have sent you a stronger signal than that over the last 6 years.

    My sound advice ... do not say you like her yet ... she may feel uncomfortable to be friends after that and you will have lost a friend.

    Try to set up some more "little dry parties where she is involved" ... be subtle and look for a stronger signal.

    time will tell ... you just need the signal ... I don't think the first invite was it, but you should keep trying to find one. :cool:
     
  19. montycat macrumors 6502

    montycat

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    #19
    Tell her how you feel. Go for it and good luck:D
     
  20. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

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    #20
    Agreed, go for it.
     
  21. Creebe thread starter macrumors newbie

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    Nov 10, 2010
    #21
    Okay thanks for the advices you guys. I'm asking this on a technology forum because I'm typing on my Macbook...? And there is more guys here I assume. I don't know that many forums so yeah.

    I think asking her out for coffee is fine, she probably won't think it's me showing interest though. I've hung out with her one on one many times, and I just started to develop feelings recently.
     
  22. lPHONE macrumors 6502a

    lPHONE

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    Nov 17, 2009
    #22
    if you don't say something, you will regret it forever... that should motivate you.
     
  23. KnightWRX macrumors Pentium

    KnightWRX

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    #23
    So you admit you want more than friendship. We've all been through it, we've all believed "hey, friendship is better than nothing". But it isn't a real friendship, it's just you wanting more and hoping it will come.

    It just ends up hurting you. If for now you feel that's better than moving on, go right ahead, but don't tell me what I said was nonsense when you essentially repeated the same thing I did.

    Trust I've been there.
     
  24. macsrcool1234 macrumors 65816

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    #24
    + 10000000000000. Don't do it.
     
  25. TuffLuffJimmy macrumors G3

    TuffLuffJimmy

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    Portland, OR
    #25
    What the hell is a dry party? If it's what I think it is take her to a drunk party and have some real fun. Maybe she'll like you after that.
     

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