The Cheesiest Local Commercials Ever

[cslewis]

Local commercials are some of the funniest, or annoying, things in life. You know the type-- the screaming, the hilarious songs, the camera work that's done with the camcorders, etc.

In the DC area, there's the legendary Eastern Motors song, for example.

And when you're in Toronto, why not stop by Bad Boy Furniture? Their excellent web design speaks for itself, you know.

Anyone have any stories or links to share?

 

[katie ta achoo]

CD scrap metal has got to be the cheesiest, most fantastic commercial.. except for Hilton furniture..

he's a crazy chain-saw wielding maniac who always cuts up the furniture. IT'S FANTASTIC.
He named his baby.. PARIS.
"so from Poppa hilton, baby hilton, and paris hilton, SHOP AT MY STORE!"

I wish they had a commercial on the internets. It would be amazing.

He was on Conan o'brien once.. when Conan was on at 2:30 in the AM, hilton was the only guy that bought advertising time. Conan flew down and did a spot for him. It was more than a few years ago.. it was SO GREAT!

and Mattress Mac.. I love him!Before he got old, he'd jump up and down and yell "we'll save you money!!!" but .. now he's old and doesn't jump.

he's made himself into a furniture icon in SE texas/louisiana. He turned $5k into a friggin' dynasty.

I hope to be a Mattress Mac one day.

 

[Unorthodox]

In the DC area, there's the legendary Eastern Motors song, for example.

Oooo... Catchy. do dum do dum easter motors dum do bum bum bum easter motors......

And when you're in Toronto, why not stop by Bad Boy Furniture? Their excellent web design speaks for itself, you know.

ARGHHHH!!! I HATE web sites that resize you window.
And why does a furniture web-site have a "games" section?

 

[jmurphy]

CD scrap metal has got to be the cheesiest, most fantastic commercial..

HAHA! You made my night! And WTF? Why would Two-dollar bills matter?

 

[cslewis]

delete this post, please!

 

[Unorthodox]

And WTF? Why would Two-dollar bills matter?

Because their printing fake money! Everyone hordes two dolor bills.
So the scrap gives never spend them. And the scrap taker never get caught.

 

[OutThere]

Anyone from Connecticut will know what I'm saying when I say...

Come on down!

 

[2nyRiggz]

Oh we got a lot of em here....they suck maxium.


Bless

 

[DISCOMUNICATION]

Tons of bad ones

Is William Shatner doing commercials for lawyers in any other cities besides Boston? I think it's Mark E. Salmone here. I think they were using a lesser known actor before.
Other bad ones... Local Phone Company, Credit Angel, Burnie & Phil furniture, Jordan's furniture, Bob's furniture (are we detecting a patern here), and car dealers are always good for a laugh. And who could forget Long's Jewelers "the jewels south of Boston".

 

[leftbanke7]

Before he got arrested for pulling a gun then filed bankrupcy, here in Salt Lake there was this guy who called himself Super Dell and he owned a place called Totally Awesome Computers. He was the most annoying man on earth.

The "Dan Dan the Laptop Man" commercials are equally as annoying.

 

[tip]

I live in Chicagoland.

Probably the cheesiest local commercial was this one: Eagle Man (the original)

 

[treblah]

I've got nothing to add but the first thing I thought of when I saw the thread subject was:

Nobody beats me cause I'm The WIZ!

 

[yg17]

There's one for a dodge dealership down here.....its absolute horrible quality, it looks like it was filmed with a VHS camcorder from the early 80s. And there's a guy in the background singing, well attempting to sing. But the lyrics to his song are something like "hemi hemi hemi makes the wheels roll around hemi hemi hemi". To top that off, it has some of the crappiest text effects...stuff like bouncing and spinning letters that look like they were added with windows movie maker. THEN, at the end, the announcer says "Come get your hemi before its too late!" and they show some guy walk to the dealer entrance and try to get in but the door is locked (this is daytime mind you) as if a salesman would turn down business.

Is William Shatner doing commercials for lawyers in any other cities besides Boston? I think it's Mark E. Salmone here. I think they were using a lesser known actor before.
Other bad ones... Local Phone Company, Credit Angel, Burnie & Phil furniture, Jordan's furniture, Bob's furniture (are we detecting a patern here), and car dealers are always good for a laugh. And who could forget Long's Jewelers "the jewels south of Boston".

Yes, in St. Louis, he's doing commercials for Brown and Croupen...just some ambulance chaser lawyers that wouldn't need Shatner as a spokesman if they were any good.

 

[katie ta achoo]

Yes, in St. Louis, he's doing commercials for Brown and Croupen...just some ambulance chaser lawyers that wouldn't need Shatner as a spokesman if they were any good.

In Houston, he does it for "Smith and Hassler"
they also have horrible insurance companies dramatizations.
"We;re the insurance company, I don't wanna pay!!"
-"Smith and hassler just called!"
"OMG I GIVE UP"

 

[mintlivedotcom]

A few years ago I took my family to Orlando and we ended up laughing all night at an infomercial for Appliance Direct.

http://www.appliancedirect.com/main/index.asp
Check out all the comercials on the right side.

APPLIANCE DIRECT! WHITE PORCELAIN! APPLIANCE DIRECT!

 

[katie ta achoo]

A few years ago I took my family to Orlando and we ended up laughing all night at an infomercial for Appliance Direct.

http://www.appliancedirect.com/main/index.asp
Check out all the comercials on the right side. APPLIANCE DIRECT! WHITE PORCELAIN! APPLIANCE DIRECT!

He has commercials for the video iPod.

HE IS MY HERO of the appliance world.

I think I'm in love.

 

[mintlivedotcom]

He has commercials for the video iPod.

HE IS MY HERO of the appliance world.

I think I'm in love.

Yes, I recommend the White Porcelain video for the ultimate in nightmares...
http://www.appliancedirectdealers.com/ipod/WhitePorcelain.m4v

Also, when I downloaded it and viewed it through iTunes, the next song to play was Who Let the Dogs Out. This will be the ONLY time I admit to having that song in my iTunes library.

"Have you ever seen a plastic toilet?"

 

[Daveway]

OMG I love this thread. Eagle Insurance threw me out the chair.

I'm going hunt for my small town commercials.

The most famous of commercials (b/c of its runtime) has to be "Frankie and Johnny's Furniture Store." Anyone who lives in the New Orleans area are has visited for awhile know these commercials. I can't find the actual commercials but here are some screenshts and synopsis.

The Special Man in the midst of letting them have it. These ads were pretty self-consciously insane. The basic premise is that poor black people come into this furniture store and complain about not being able to afford sectionals and bedroom sets. So the white owner would play good cop/bad cop and tell them to see 'the special man' who invariably and in a perfect deep monotone would say, 'let em have it.'

There was a lot of other action going on as well, like this guy, who would shout and shake at the camera.

OhDog:credit

Sadly, N.O. suffered a great lost about a year ago when the "Special Man" passed away, the local news held a special program for him. The furniture store was damaged greatly in Katrina and I'm not sure if it has reopened.

 

[Counterfit]

In Houston, he does it for "Smith and Hassler"
they also have horrible insurance companies dramatizations.
"We;re the insurance company, I don't wanna pay!!"
-"Smith and hassler just called!"
"OMG I GIVE UP"

He does it for d'Olivera & Morgan in RI. I think the scary part is, rather than use a form ad like all these firms used to (The hurtline ones right?) where they just change the audio when the logo is on, so they only had to shoot the video once, he ACTUALLY SAYS THE NAME ON CAMERA. How many different versions did they have to shoot?

There's a small car dealership around that once used "Credit Man" or something. He was dressed like Superman, with a foam chest. He said the line: "If I can bend steel with my bare hands... <cuts to him inside><credit man points to camera> I can approve your credit". The funniest part is, he's bending what appears to be an inflatable parking meter.

 

[floriflee]

Before he got arrested for pulling a gun then filed bankrupcy, here in Salt Lake there was this guy who called himself Super Dell and he owned a place called Totally Awesome Computers. He was the most annoying man on earth.

The "Dan Dan the Laptop Man" commercials are equally as annoying.

What the...?! Super Dell pulled a gun and filed for bankruptcy?? No WONDER there was a lack of those annoying commercials on TV when we were out there visiting the sister.... Huh... so when did that happen? What were the details of the gun-pulling? He in jail?

Now if you guys can only get rid of his Laptop Man counterpart....

 

[jadekitty24]

Anyone from Connecticut will know what I'm saying when I say...

Come on down!

Oh god...Bobs Discount Furniture...THE KING of cheasy...esspecially the commercial where Bob is conducting the dresser-drawers in a weird furniture-playing symphony. ROTFLMAO! Actually, I'm laying on a Bob-o-pedic as we speak! err, type!

 

[eva01]

1-800-54-GIANT. Giant Glass

 

[CompUser]

If anyone is from connecticut they must surely know of:

1) Bob's Discount Furniture (OMG- he's been on the air for years and he is sooo annoying)
2) Good Old Tom's (pawn shop?)(his commericals don't even make sense because he has different people repeating the same thing that other people have said with the exact same expensive* item)
3) American Ladders and Scaffolds (they have the best jingle)
4) Empire Carpet (delivery in 1 day, 1-800-2-300, Empire today

*On one of Good Old Tom's commercial this guy shows off these three toy cars and is like. "my mom bought these for me when I was a kid, now tom gave me $300 for the lot, good old tom" Keep in mind this sleezy looking character is probably in his 40's. One of the cars in some old looking car, but 2 of them are model PT cruisers that they used to sell in gas stations. So, unless he was a kid 3 years ago or they had PT Cruisers, I would think that he is lying.

 

[CompUser]

Anyone from Connecticut will know what I'm saying when I say...

Come on down!

Save me Lord from the wrath of the growing Bob's discount furniture empire. Luckly, the one in Avon on the Simsbury line went out of business.

I went to mybobs.com and this is what i see...

and a google search

I can't find a pic of his annoying GF/Wife/Friend/Golddigger

 

[leftbanke7]

What the...?! Super Dell pulled a gun and filed for bankruptcy?? No WONDER there was a lack of those annoying commercials on TV when we were out there visiting the sister.... Huh... so when did that happen? What were the details of the gun-pulling? He in jail?

Now if you guys can only get rid of his Laptop Man counterpart....

Last year sometime, he and his kid were blazing through this Sandy neighborhood at like 85 MPH when some neighbors came out with rocks. He stopped the car and pulled out his gun.

He filed for bankrupcy a couple months ago and closed down both Totally Awesome Computers and Totally Awesome Guns. Seeing him getting interviewed by the local media was hilarious. He was comparing himself to Jesus and the media to all the mocking Romans or something to that effect. Some of his ex-store managers thought that he was losing his mind. Did you ever happen to see those late night infomercials he did where it was just him talking about how he loves God and crying like a 10 year old girl with a skinned knee?

To show how loony this guy is, here is his mug shot when he was booked on the gun charges: