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The Cheesiest Local Commercials Ever

I grew up in Chicago, and I'd definitely have to agree with the Eagle-Man commercials.

But also (and more recently) it's some furniture commercials, and they have three brothers on it. They have a series of awful ads, but the worst was their 'iPod silhouettes'-esque ad. Lame.
 
n-abounds said:
But also (and more recently) it's some furniture commercials, and they have three brothers on it. They have a series of awful ads, but the worst was their 'iPod silhouettes'-esque ad. Lame.
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Walter E Smithe. Haha.

There was a "Chicago" Pizza Hut commercial that featured them as well.


Speaking of the Pizza Hut commercial, this reminded me of the old "Murphy in the Morning" commercial that had the Empire Carpet Man, Cellozi and Ettelson, and a few other Chicago local TV commercial personalities.


Also, as a side note, there was an "Eagleman" commercial that had Mancow.
 
leftbanke7 said:
Last year sometime, he and his kid were blazing through this Sandy neighborhood at like 85 MPH when some neighbors came out with rocks. He stopped the car and pulled out his gun.

He filed for bankrupcy a couple months ago and closed down both Totally Awesome Computers and Totally Awesome Guns. Seeing him getting interviewed by the local media was hilarious. He was comparing himself to Jesus and the media to all the mocking Romans or something to that effect. Some of his ex-store managers thought that he was losing his mind. Did you ever happen to see those late night infomercials he did where it was just him talking about how he loves God and crying like a 10 year old girl with a skinned knee?

To show how loony this guy is, here is his mug shot when he was booked on the gun charges:
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I heard about the infomercials, but never had the "pleasure" of witnessing them firsthand. I think I saw the beginning of one once and quickly changed the channel because I tried to avoid him like the plague (which made going to see movies at Jordan Commons somewhat impossible since they'd have his and the Laptop man's ads play before the movies started). I wouldn't be surprised if the man really was crazy.
 
floriflee said:
I heard about the infomercials, but never had the "pleasure" of witnessing them firsthand. I think I saw the beginning of one once and quickly changed the channel because I tried to avoid him like the plague (which made going to see movies at Jordan Commons somewhat impossible since they'd have his and the Laptop man's ads play before the movies started). I wouldn't be surprised if the man really was crazy.
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I'm sure he's eaten a little too much glue in his life.

The current annoying commercial is these New Larry H. Miller commercials where he has some wannabe Brian Setzer swing band singing about his new cars despite the fact that the swing music craze has long since passed us by.

I am seriously thinking about starting my own local ad agency. Some of these commercials are absolutely dreadful and lack any sort of creativity.
 
Sunflower Dodge

I am from Kansas City and there are these commercials for a car dealership called Sunflower dodge. The dealership is actually in Kansas, but we get the commercials all over KC. The guy calls himself Hap Hazard and he wears the most terrible suits you have ever seen. Since it is "Sunflower" Dodge he wears brown and yellow plaid sometimes and has this tie that stops about halfway between his neck and belly button. He looks awful and has this really annoying voice as he hocks cars. The thing is... it is a big nice dealership.... i have no idea why that advertise with him. anyone from around KC and familiar?

t t
 
mac_head101 said:
And when you're in Toronto, why not stop by Bad Boy Furniture? Their excellent web design speaks for itself, you know.

Anyone have any stories or links to share?
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Oh my god! these are awful. I sometimes watch CityTV and have to be witness to this annoying so called bad boy. Interesting there is even a wikipedia entry on bad boy furniture! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Boy_Furniture

Beside Bad Boy, I would say any commerical made and aired in Vermont or Maine is usually terrible. ^_^
 
jadekitty24 said:
Oh god...Bobs Discount Furniture...THE KING of cheasy...esspecially the commercial where Bob is conducting the dresser-drawers in a weird furniture-playing symphony. ROTFLMAO! Actually, I'm laying on a Bob-o-pedic as we speak! err, type!
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I think I heard a commercial for a Bob-o-pedic over the weekend.
Those of us in southern New England must know about Cardi's Furniture and Ni-R?-P?. They eventually take the style of something popular on TV. They used a South Park style for a few years, and recently switched to the iTunes silhouettes style. There's a billboard near my school, which shows all of them (Nick, Ron, and Pete Cardi) sitting behind Apple Displays.

Of course, there's always Alpert's "Time for new Furniture?"
 
leftbanke7 said:
I'm sure he's eaten a little too much glue in his life.

The current annoying commercial is these New Larry H. Miller commercials where he has some wannabe Brian Setzer swing band singing about his new cars despite the fact that the swing music craze has long since passed us by.

I am seriously thinking about starting my own local ad agency. Some of these commercials are absolutely dreadful and lack any sort of creativity.
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Oh, I'm sure your help couldn't come a moment too soon! Please PLEASE rescue the local Salt Lake Area business ads!
 
For people in CT and massachusetts, what about Big Y commercials (the grocery store chain)? Those are horrible, not funny, just horrible.
 
Anyone living around the Puget Sound has to vote for Vern Fonk Insurance for the ultimate in local commercial cheese:

http://www.vernfonk.com/asp/videos.asp

Also the Stereo Warehouse commercials, and Flynn the Carpet Cents guy:
 

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n-abounds said:
I grew up in Chicago, and I'd definitely have to agree with the Eagle-Man commercials.

But also (and more recently) it's some furniture commercials, and they have three brothers on it. They have a series of awful ads, but the worst was their 'iPod silhouettes'-esque ad. Lame.
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Ah, Eagle Man. Don't forget about Peter Francis Jerrasi. His monotone voice puts me to sleep.
 
DC Area - If you think the Eastern Motors ads are classic, I guess you would have enjoyed the Gebco and Senate Insurance commercials. The Senate had the trademark line..."Then you can tell all those otha inso-ance agencies...Kiss my Bumpa....Just kiss it!" Ok, you had to be there. It was funny. As fo rthe Gebco, I still don't know what what they were selling. I just remember the Gebco girls and "Go Gebco! Go Gebco!" as they danced. You might have seen their commercials in Baltimore with Jonathan Ogden.

UT - I've been racking my brain, but there was nothing more annoying that Totally Awesome Computers. But, if I remember right, he was making bank off of those ads - they were annoying enough that a lot of people thought of him first when looking for a computer and would end up buying from him. Also, customer service (for repairs and such) was supposed to be amazing with them. But, the man reminds me of a chihuahua on greenies....
 
tip said:
Walter E Smithe. Haha.

There was a "Chicago" Pizza Hut commercial that featured them as well.


Speaking of the Pizza Hut commercial, this reminded me of the old "Murphy in the Morning" commercial that had the Empire Carpet Man, Cellozi and Ettelson, and a few other Chicago local TV commercial personalities.


Also, as a side note, there was an "Eagleman" commercial that had Mancow.
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I believe that was an "Eaglewoman" commercial. They finally realized that it didn't make sense for Eagleman to lay eggs?
And LOL @ Peter Francis Geraci...he's like Ben Stein only more boring and doesn't care about dry eyes.
 
"carcraaaft at rooochdale" :D :D :D Locals will know this one! It's just uber cheese.

I can't remember it off by heart but the Ashton-u-lyne "christmas" advert is HORRIBLE. My ears melted.

There's rumour that a local garden centre have a radio advert which is supposed to curdle milk. if only I listened to radio :D
 
I think Chicago may be the international center of cheesy commercials.

• Peter Francis Jeraci "Call my free info tapes..."
• Eagle Insurance "I've got something for youuuuuuu!"
• Celozzi Ettleson Chevrolet "Where you always save more money."
• Bob "Roooohrmann" Chevrolet
• Menards "Save big money!"
• "SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!!!!" (Used for various things for the past 20 years, seems to be a Chicago tradition)
• Jewel "Fresh to your family from Jewel (do do do do do do)."
• Empire Carpets "5-8-8, two three hundred, EMPIIIIIRE!" (used to only be in Chicago, commercials haven't changed in 45 years even though they're nationwide now)
• Walter E Smithe "You dream it we build it."
• Century Tile "like a Kid in a Candy Store" (What?!?!?)

If I think of more, which I'm sure I will, I'll add them to this post.
 
leftbanke7 said:
I couldn't help but hear a little sarcasm in that post ;)
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Oh, I was being deadly serious about them needing help, but it will take a sheer act of God to get the local businesses to add a little class to their ads. I wish you all the best with that beastly task. :)
 
katie ta achoo said:
CD scrap metal has got to be the cheesiest, most fantastic commercial..
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That is easily the best I've seen! How 'bout ya'll? The flying carpet/$2 Bill is fantastic, who did their special effects?

There are plenty of cheesy ads here, but very few are on the net unfortunately. Chris and Marie always crack me up. Their TV ads usually consist of him running around naked behind hedges or wearing a pink tutu, her telling him off and then both of them yelling about the products they have on sale. Quality stuff!
 
dpaanlka said:
I think Chicago may be the international center of cheesy commercials.

• Peter Francis Jeraci "Call my free info tapes..."
• Eagle Insurance "I've got something for youuuuuuu!"
• Celozzi Ettleson Chevrolet "Where you always save more money."
• Bob "Roooohrmann" Chevrolet
• Menards "Save big money!"
• "SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!!!!" (Used for various things for the past 20 years, seems to be a Chicago tradition)
• Jewel "Fresh to your family from Jewel (do do do do do do)."
• Empire Carpets "5-8-8, two three hundred, EMPIIIIIRE!" (used to only be in Chicago, commercials haven't changed in 45 years even though they're nationwide now)

If I think of more, which I'm sure I will, I'll add them to this post.
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Hehehe - the first thing I thought of when I read the thread title was the Empire Carpet commercials...followed by the Walter E. Smithe jingle.

Here in wisconsin, where I currently live, I would have to say the commercials for Farm and Fleet are probably the worst.
 
Oh yeah, I almost forgot the silliest Chicagoland jingle: Moo and Oink!
 
any law firm, especially stouwie and mayo (where he morphs into a horribly done 3d tiger) and jim adler "the texas hammer"
oh, and wayne right, with all the fake testimonials and him saying stuff about getting what you deserve
:rolleyes:
 
If you're from the Baltimore area, it was Mr. Ray's Hair Weave commercials from the 60's and 70's. You had to see them to believe them. "Visit our shop today!" He had a big "Ballimer" accent, and was part of the John Waters film Pink Flamingoes. Folks would walkin almost bald and walk out with huge "fro's".
Gee I miss home.
 
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