I'm coming up to something similar. I spent 2 weeks out of January and February having to take care of my father who started having trouble breathing after being diagnosed with congestive heart failure in November. When he got to the hospital and they went to take a scan of his heart and lungs for breathing, he coded for around 8-12 seconds. They were able to bring him back, but still. He already had had a kidney removed from having a tumor in it roughly 15 years ago, and was on anticoagulants so it's safe to say that he's been through the wars.
This conversation came up with him and is starting to come up again even though he's made the decision for now to stay at home. One thing that the elderly (and quite frankly, most people in general) never want to talk about or discuss are any end-of-life decisions. Such with my father, he didn't have any final paperwork set up for anything at all. What complicates this also is the fact that he owns land by inheritance (technically his father/my grandfather owns the land, but he and my father have the same name.. Jr./Sr., etc.), as well as share in ownership of land with his sisters. So you can see how all of this really complicates things... and to top it off, I'm his only child, so I basically am involved, regardless.
Back to those decisions. If something happened to him, unless any paperwork were signed, everything would go to the state and argued in court with probate. So what I did (in very short order and not getting a lawyer involved) was to get paperwork signed and notarized for the following:
- Medical Power of Attorney. This gives me the authority to make any medical-related decisions, including withdrawing or withholding any life supporting treatment. Without that, it would fall to next of kin, which would be his sisters, not me.
- Durable Financial Power of Attorney. This allows me to make decisions on any financial arrangements or transactions made on behalf of him. While for his accounts I am listed as a beneficiary, I wouldn't be able to do anything with those accounts until he's gone; that doesn't mean that next of kin (his sisters) couldn't come in and drain his accounts before I get access to them before he's gone. In this case, now I have the ability to manage it on his behalf, should he become incapacitated.
Also, this is a DURABLE power of attorney. The difference between normal financial and durable financial, is that the regular financial power of attorney could be changed at any point, without any say from me, as well as can take effect on an arbitrary date set in the document for it, while a durable POA takes effect upon creation of the document.
- Real Estate Power of Attorney. Same as the above, but involves any transactions made on land. I can handle that on his behalf.
- Revocable Living Trust. This is in lieu of any Will, which would get lawyers and probate involved. The Living Trust is also something that can be changed and modified at any time. This is similar to the Will, as the Grantor can designate any beneficiary they want, as well as exclude anyone they want to benefit from the Trust being set up.
- Pre-Need. Should the worst happen (let's hope it doesn't), someone will have to take care of final arrangements (burial, cremation, etc.) If it's a burial, obviously the plot will need to be purchased, the casket, etc. Most burial homes will want that paid all up front if the person is already deceased. However, if taken care of beforehand (pre-need), the person can make payment arrangements on all of it and pay as they go. The other option is cremation, which could be as cheap as $500.. but I don't think people would want something as simple as that, unless they weren't prepared for it.
My grandfather died roughly 20 years ago from a massive heart attack brought on by congestive heart failure that he didn't know he had. For his plot, casket, and funeral, it was $7000-$8000, that had to be paid all up front. Immediately after that, my grandmother got hold of the funeral home and talked about pre-need. She got that set up, got what she wanted, and paid on it for the next 5 years. She has it completely paid off now to where no-one needs to worry about what to do with her when/if she passes. She'll be 91 this year. My father now has this set up, as all of that would fall on me to handle, and I wouldn't be able to access his funds to pay for it, as none of that would be released until a death certificate is signed and the body handed over.
This basically got everything set up for my father in case the worst happens, because should any assisted living place he gets put into decides to come after him or something for payment, they would have to go through me for any and all transactions made on my father's behalf.
Now, I don't know if the OP has anything set up, or if it has even been discussed, but it would definitely be worth getting these in order sooner rather than later. I was able to find the papers online (the place I went to had a 30-day trial, so I was able to sign up and print, and was thinking of canceling, but decided not to because I could use them as well.. it's only $40, and gets you access to paperwork for every state and territory in the US), plus the cost of having a notary sign and stamp them. But having that paperwork in order is essential, especially since our generation is getting to the age where we have to start thinking about it, as s****y as it sounds.. 😖😢
BL.
