The Elder Parent Scenario

[jkcerda]

77 and I am still wearing my tires down to the cords on the edges.

knees in the breeze, ride safe my friend.

 

[Huntn]

put yourself in his shoes, this is NOT an easy decision one way or another.
like many others I am NOT interested in making it to that point, it has to be scary AF to reach that point where you are just waiting to croak and I think I rather go out my way.

My observation is that at 93 he is still mobile, still mentally sharp, but he is losing his strength. At this point he still finds things to entertain him, but he is basically waiting to die.

So we have established that if you keel over dead, you’d be lucky. But if there is a chance to deteriorate enough to need assisted living and you don’t plan on killing yourself, moving into a facility that offers assisted living woukd be a wise choice, because you can chose where to go. If you refuse and end up being caught by surprise, then based on lack of availability, you might not end up were you’d prefer to be. He has decided to take that chance.

Finally, on the topic of assisted suicide, it might be an easy choice if you were losing mental acuity or becoming bed ridden. My father’s side of the family makes it into their 100s. Both my Great Uncle and my Grandmother (she got leukemia) ended up in the being bed ridden scenario for a period of months. If I am to find myself in such a circumstance and assisted suicide was an option, I’d seriously consider it.

 

[Apple fanboy]

My observation is that at 93 he is still mobile, still mentally sharp, but he is losing his strength. At this point he still finds things to entertain him, but he is basically waiting to die.

So we have established that if you keel over dead, you’d be lucky. But if there is a chance to deteriorate enough to need assisted living and you don’t plan on killing yourself, moving into a facility that offers assisted living woukd be a wise choice, because you can chose where to go. If you refuse and end up being caught by surprise, then based on lack of availability, you might not end up were you’d prefer to be. He has decided to take that chance.

Finally, on the topic of assisted suicide, it might be an easy choice if you were losing mental acuity or becoming bed ridden. My father’s side of the family makes it into their 100s. Both my Great Uncle and my Grandmother (she got leukemia) ended up in the being bed ridden scenario for a period of months. If I am to find myself in such a circumstance and assisted suicide was an option, I’d seriously consider it.

My Dad is much younger than yours but I find when I talk to him every few days he is repeating himself a lot more. I do worry for his mental health more than his physical health.

Mostly him being bed ridden at home would be a terrible way for him to go. For a start I wouldn't be able to see him as his wife based me from their house 15 odd years ago. She's not quite the full shilling.

 

[jkcerda]

My observation is that at 93 he is still mobile, still mentally sharp, but he is losing his strength. At this point he still finds things to entertain him, but he is basically waiting to die.

So we have established that if you keel over dead, you’d be lucky. But if there is a chance to deteriorate enough to need assisted living and you don’t plan on killing yourself, moving into a facility that offers assisted living woukd be a wise choice, because you can chose where to go. If you refuse and end up being caught by surprise, then based on lack of availability, you might not end up were you’d prefer to be. He has decided to take that chance.

Finally, on the topic of assisted suicide, it might be an easy choice if you were losing mental acuity or becoming bed ridden. My father’s side of the family makes it into their 100s. Both my Great Uncle and my Grandmother (she got leukemia) ended up in the being bed ridden scenario for a period of months. If I am to find myself in such a circumstance and assisted suicide was an option, I’d seriously consider it.

don't blame him one bit, is has to be depressing AF to move into what you know is where you going to die surrounded by strangers etc.

 

[Huntn]

don't blame him one bit, is has to be depressing AF to move into what you know is where you going to die surrounded by strangers etc.

I don’t blame him either, as told to me by a rep for a senior living hone, this is very common, practically routine, people don’t want to leave their home until forced to by some health issue.

However, I know elderly people in this phase of life benefit from social interaction. My wife’s parents spent 5 years in a senior living facility and there were social circles, people in the same boat as you that you can share your experiences and commiserate with. They were happy there. After her father passed away, her mom decided to move in with my wife’s sister’s family and there she is not happy feeling like a third wheel, more or less a burden as she pays them $1000 a month to subsidize their mortgage.