The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from an employee

[emw]

Several years back I had just started working for a company and one of my employees was off on medical leave, so I had yet to meet him.

Three weeks later I was at a hotel out of state when I got a call from this employee - on the hotel line, not my cell phone - telling me about some issues he was having.

Now, not to belittle his issues, but I was a little surprised that (1) he was able to track me down in a hotel when he was still out on medical leave and should have had no idea where I was, and (2) that he was willing to talk to me about some pretty personal information given that he'd never seen me or talked to me before.

Strange.

 

[mgargan1]

This isn't quite as funny as some of yours, but just yesterday I went to Popeyes. The total was $5.98... so I gave the cashier $21.

She looked at me like i was freaking nuts! She said, why would you give me $21?! Then she proceeded to give me $15 with a 10 and five 1's... then she let out a big "oooooohhh"... here's your $15 and gave me a 10 and a 5...

 

[jayb2000]

FLMAO!!! Dude I almost spewed on my monitor reading this. You made my day & it just got started.

BTW, have you got a Timmie (Tim Horton's) store in your area - much better coffee; although in the city of Hamilton ON (birthplace of Mr Tim Horton of NHL fame long passed away) ppl lineup for 30mins for coffee at 6am. I wonder if crack is in that coffee

Up here in Maine there are a few Tim Horton's, but since McDonalds switched to Newman's Own organic coffee, its actually pretty good.

Stupid employee stuff? Well, at a former job, we techies sat next to the legal department. And there was a power outage. Whole building shut down.
Generators kicked in, but the UPS did not. Everyone's computer shut off and then powered back up.

One of the lawyers caught me as I came back from getting a coffee and asked if I "was technical" as she was having problems with her computer.
So, I followed her back to her desk and her pc says

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r

INVALID SYSTEM DISK
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL? r
...
About 15 times

So I lean over her shoulder and pop the floppy out of the drive, hit r and walk back to my desk.

 

[Poseidon]

At the Taco Bell Drive thru, I asked for "extra cheese on the side" and the lady kept saying, "we can't give you extra beef on the side". Then I said extra cheese 3 more times, and after every time, "extra beef?!?" was the reply. Drive throughs are the worst.

As a former drive-thru worker for McDonalds (hold your jeers please) I can tell you that the machinery used can sometimes be pretty awful. No matter how clear you think you're being, what we often heard was "scratch screeeeechh hamburger."

Well, they didn't actually "say" anything to me, but...

At McDonald's, one of my friends ordered a McChicken sandwich, but it didn't have mayonnaise on it. My friend didn't want to go up and ask for some but I did for her. I asked if they had any "little mayonnaise packets" and they said "sure."

They brought me a full cup of mayo! It was disgusting. Why would anybody ever need that much?

Yeah, you'd be amazed what sort of stuff folks put on their food or how much they want. All manner of condiments or specialty orders and seemingly buckets of extra goop on their food.

 

[nitynate]

At CompUSA

Me: "Hey, will this Photoshop CS2 run without rosetta on my intel iMac?"
Apple sales person: "Yeah dude."
Me: "But its not universal"
Apple sales person: "Dude, its for Mac."
Me: "So it will run totally natively on my INTEL iMac?"
Apple sales person: "Duh."
Me: "Idiot"

 

[Baron58]

So I lean over her shoulder and pop the floppy out of the drive, hit r and walk back to my desk.

Actually, the joke's on you (or whatever other 'techie' was responsible for systems) for not setting the BIOS on all machines to boot from hard drive first and NOT from removable media. I learned that about 1 day after first working with PC hardware.

 

[nateDEEZY]

When I first read the thread title, I thought it meant from like a co-worker.. or an Employer/Employee relationship. Soo I'll go with that.

My first job as a mechanic I was working as an apprentice at a dealership and my coworker was in his mid 50's to late 60's an older mexican, perfect english so I assumed he's been in the states for a long time. One day it was real slow and on slow days that means no cars for me to work on heh. So I kept myself busy sweeping/mopping pretty much what the porters do. Well as fate would have it I finally passed by the back of his stall while he was outside smoking he said to me with sort of a half laugh, "How you like playing n***er for the day?"

I didn't know how to react so I walked away.

 

[yojitani]

hoho!! We'll I have dozens of fairly snobby stories about grocery store cashiers - like one guy who couldn't get his head around the idea of 'endive' . No, my best is last summer we all went out to a new Indian restaurant in town. I like exceptionally hot food so I ordered a Jalferezi and asked for it 'extra hot.' Much to my disappointment, the curry they brought to me tasted like the kiddie version (less than mild). So when I complained, the waiter told me that they didn't make it too hot because it's hot outside and they didn't want their customers to overheat!

(the story does end nicely though, I went back a few weeks ago and asked and double checked that they would make my food acceptably hot. This time they managed it - though the waiter came to check every 10 mins on my health. His jaw hit the table when I finished my plate. Obvioulsy, they still need to get the customer service thing down, but otherwise...hehe, and I joked with him that they can make it as hot as they like since we were in the middle of a bllizzard)

 

[mariahlullaby]

Since I'm a teenage girl (19 but I look about 14), I tend to get a lot of BS from most tech-related places when I come in with a question especially from the guys that work there -- they get thrown when someone from my demographic isn't asking what color the RAZR comes in, or if they carry iPods. Anyways, so I was at a store looking for a case for my Blackberry.

Me: Do you carry cases for the Blackberry 8700?
Salesman: Uh....let me see, which one is that? The 8700?
Me: Yes, that one right there (pointing to his Blackberry display)
SM: Ah yes, we have several. (He pulls out a 'skin' type case)
Me: Does that have a magnet on it? I'd like one that has a magnet so I can have the "in holster" features work.
SM: Excuse me?
Me: You know, so that when I put my BB into its holster the it can go on silent, vibrate, whatever. It's controlled by the magnet in a case.
SM: There is no such thing.
Me: No, there is, I had it on my old case which I lost. Do you just have any cases with a magnet?
SM: I guess, but I assure you that I have never heard of such a thing (he smirks)
Me: Yes, I promise it does, now can I just see the cases?
SM: (laughs condescendingly) Miss, I have a certification from the tech "blah blah blah" (don't remember what he said), I think I would know if the Blackberry had that feature.
Me: Thank you, good bye.

 

[J.J. Sefton]

I was at CompUSA in Towson MD buying an internal hard drive for my Sawtooth G4. I selected the drive I wanted, but there was no price. I asked a sales guy for help. While he was looking up the price he asked me what kind of computer I had. After I told him, he says, "Oh, that hard drive isn't compatible with Macs. I don't think we even carry Mac stuff anymore."
I pointed out the rear right corner of the store that was dedicated to Macs. I pointed to the smiling Mac OS logo on the hard drive box. His reply was "Oh."
Bonus! He wanted to charge me $75.00 to install the drive for me. I declined.

 

[mariahlullaby]

When we were on holiday in America a few years ago (I think we were in South Dakota at this point)

What?

 

[jayb2000]

Actually, the joke's on you (or whatever other 'techie' was responsible for systems) for not setting the BIOS on all machines to boot from hard drive first and NOT from removable media. I learned that about 1 day after first working with PC hardware.

Ahh, not my job

I do networking stuff, not PC.

I think I would go crazy if I had to deal with that all day!

 

[mattscott306]

What?

What? They can't vacation in South Dakota?

 

[mac-eroni]

I got lots. But this is the best.

So I walked into FutureShop (brother to BestBuy here in Canada).

Me: uhh, where can I find a DVI cable?

Employee: Oh. (looks at me like I'm simple) You mean a "FIREWIRE" (saying it real slowly to be sure I understand) cable.

Me: No. I need a DVI cable. Do you sell them?

Employee: It's DV not DVI, and that's not the name of the cable. The DV cable is called "FIREWIRE" (again, saying it real slow).

Me: No. I know that I need a DVI cable. You know... to connect displays?

Employee: (Shocked) YOU CANT CONNECT A CAMCORDER TO A DISPLAY!!

Me: Forget it. Where are your CABLES.

He pointed me in the direction, I grabbed my DVI cable and made my way to cash.

 

[balamw]

What? They can't vacation in South Dakota?

Like, perhaps, they went to see Mt. Rushmore.

B

 

[adrianblaine]

What? They can't vacation in South Dakota?

I agree. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of the Dakota's are quite beautiful. South has the Badlands and North has Theodore Roosevelt National Park. The area around Mt. Rushmore is scenic as well.

 

[SpookTheHamster]

What? They can't vacation in South Dakota?

It wasn't a holiday in South Dakota, dear Lord no.

Our family does holidays more like a road trip. We start somewhere (in that case NY) and end somewhere (in that case St. Louis), but the journey in between is just driving around, looking at anything we come across.

The last time I went my father and I started in Seattle and headed east, we managed to get within 50 miles of where we got when we were coming from the east.

I've been to more of America than most Americans.

edit: adrianblaine I agree, the Dakotas were beautiful, especially the Badlands. That's an amazing picture. Do you have a larger version I could nab for a wallpaper?

 

[mattscott306]

Like, perhaps, they went to see Mt. Rushmore.

B

I agree. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of the Dakota's are quite beautiful. South has the Badlands and North has Theodore Roosevelt National Park. The area around Mt. Rushmore is scenic as well.

What? Why is everyone quoting me? I was defending S. Dakota!

 

[SpookTheHamster]

What? Why is everyone quoting me? I was defending S. Dakota!

If we quote mariahlullaby all it says is "What?"

 

[mattscott306]

If we quote mariahlullaby all it says is "What?"

That's true. You're quotes should say instead

insert text here

 

[savar]

Honestley...I've heard dumb things from employees before, but not knowing what a time zone is? Wow...give me a break.

A Wendy's employee in rural Indiana...what did you expect?

 

[savar]

That's classic, frustrating, but classic.

I haven't eaten there since my eggs were comparible to rubber.

I haven't eaten there in about 3 years...last thing I ate was a "McGriddle"...so freaking disgusting that I couldn't believe they were serving it to the public. It was like a science experiment gone wrong.

 

[ErikCLDR]

i just HATE when your in a store looking at for something in a display and an employee asks you what your looking for and you tell them. Then they look right where you are looking after you have already looked there. It pisses me off.

 

[savar]

Employee: (Shocked) YOU CANT CONNECT A CAMCORDER TO A DISPLAY!!

Me: Forget it. Where are your CABLES.

He pointed me in the direction, I grabbed my DVI cable and made my way to cash.

I think it's a simple fact that people who truly understand all of the technologies in a store that big are probably too gifted to end up working there.

I hate going there, trying to buy something like a receiver, and they try to sell you a $120, 3ft monster digital audio cable. ITS DIGITAL!! I don't need gold plated contacts on an optical cable either, stoop, but thanks for playing.

 

[CrackedButter]

So I walked into FutureShop (brother to BestBuy here in Canada).

Me: uhh, where can I find a DVI cable?

Employee: Oh. (looks at me like I'm simple) You mean a "FIREWIRE" (saying it real slowly to be sure I understand) cable.

Me: No. I need a DVI cable. Do you sell them?

Employee: It's DV not DVI, and that's not the name of the cable. The DV cable is called "FIREWIRE" (again, saying it real slow).

Me: No. I know that I need a DVI cable. You know... to connect displays?

Employee: (Shocked) YOU CANT CONNECT A CAMCORDER TO A DISPLAY!!

Me: Forget it. Where are your CABLES.

He pointed me in the direction, I grabbed my DVI cable and made my way to cash.

Please tell me you didn't just walk out, please tell me you showed him the difference so that he wouldn't make that mistake again?