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I hear ya.

Hopefully after you return it 6 times you will get one with a microscopic variation of shade in the corner of the screen, in complete darkness, at an angle of 78.22 degrees, after you leave a pattern of boxes on the screen for 2 hours... on Mondays.
 
Doesn't it have to be a full moon for your test to work? I tried it on my friend's rMBP but the moon was only waxing full on Monday ... I don't think it was full enough.
 
Hmmm... let me try and piece this mystery together. Oh, I got it: Apple IIe, MacSE, Apple Stock.

You come from that generation. :)

No wonder it works. Chances are pretty high that you used to transfer files using a 1200bps modem and probably know all about xmodem, zmodem, and bi-modem.

See, us MR trekkies can explain anything away. :D
 
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