"but I suspect that when something fails, you need to look it up in manuals, forums, and use the terminal"
Just like MacOS. Look up what you have to do to get an external drive to auto-mount on boot. If you've never noticed you have to be logged in before you plug in the external drive.
Your basic complaint is true, Linux really needs internet access so you can look up the odd stuff. Installing Broadcom wi-fi drivers can be a headache. Nvidia video cards are famously annoying. Samba is quite complex to set up, and screen sharing is incredibly difficult to get working on Linux.
All that said it's not like it's impossible. I've used Linux Mint on my desktop since 2019. It flies, it looks good, it's very stable. It has the apps I need. The current OS version is supported until 2029 and I'm quite certain the next version will run on my hardware as well. What more can I ask?
Asahi Linux does work on M1 and M2 Macs except for Thunderbolt which is rapidly going the way of Firewire 800. Apple is concealing technical information needed to boot M3 and M4 Macs for some reason that only Cook knows. Possibly because a Linux user isn't going to use Apple's services which is where the revenue is coming from at the moment. As I've said, I use Linux on my desktop. My server is a 2014 mini running the current Linux Mint as well. My shop has a 2012 Mini running Linux Mint MATE version. My phone is a Motorola. My laptop is an M1 MBA. I use no Apple services and no Apple subscriptions, so just maybe Tim fears me. 🙂