I think you missed the following official document that explains how to use headless mode in Fusion 2 AND 3:
http://communities.vmware.com/docs/DOC-1201 That's your first fail.
Wrong, I was using all that with 2. It was taken out in 3. Check the forums on VMware, they some out and admit that they took it out.
"The fluxCapacitor option was removed from Fusion 3.0 due to rearchitecting of the rendering engine; we did not have time to make sure that headless mode still worked. We realize it's something that some people find useful. In the meantime, force quitting the UI or invoking Fusion directly should work."
Which is not sufficient as I need my VM's to start on boot, which they cannot do with 3. And since VMware does not offer support for ESX/ESXi on Apple hardware, that's not an option. Though Xen might be...
Notice that this was only added after I brought it up on VMware's forums. And no, the nogui option on vmrun does not appear to be working, so invoking directly currently does not work.
"The second fail is you're forgetting that Fusion is not and never was meant to be a headless virtualisation product"
No, I'm not forgetting that. I'm not happy that they decided not to continue the feature. And I'm not alone.
"Yep, VirtualBox is a really great product but still needs a lot of work when compared to Fusion, Workstation and something like Parallels. As you said, the interface is really horrible but it also lacks quite a lot of features and things like speed and stability.
If you just want to run Windows from time to time without the necessity for 3D stuff than yes, VirtualBox is a great tool to use. If however you want to virtualise non-Windows stuff, have 3D support or do other nifty stuff than try Fusion or Parallels because VirtualBox simply sucks at these things."
Actually, I'm finding VirtualBox 3 to be quite a credible entry in the VM market. It does run Windows, Linux, BSD's and Solaris. While I will grant Fusion officially supports more OS's, I'm finding to real show stoppers in terms of performance or features. It's definitely fast enough and stable enough so far.
I don't think it's too far out there to suggest VirtualBox as an alternative. Considering the number of issues with 3 on the forums, and there are a lot, I also do not think it's too far out there to suggest that people who rely on things wait before upgrading from 2 to 3. And it's always good to look at alternatives.
In my case, VMware has still been a pretty big disappointment with Fusion 3. That may not be the case for everyone. But I am glad there are alternatives. If you are happy with the product, good for you.