Thanks yet again for all the kind words everyone. Tomorrow morning Ive got a court date to go over the initial paperwork and agreements at the court. The closer it gets, the sadder I get. This is such a messed up situation... Feels like something so huge, you know there is no way to get over or through it, and yet there is no avoiding it either. 🙁
The terrible thing about this all too is that I dont even want the divorce. Half the time she doesnt seem like she does either, but she says she is too scared to keep working on it because she is afraid its futile. So instead of risking failure or further hurt feelings, she would rather just get it over and done with so we can both move on. It doesnt make sense to me, but there is no stopping it... This is f@*%ing killing me. Honestly. She and the rest of my family have been the very meaning of my life for nearly half my life (we started dating when I was 17, Im 33 now). Now its all gone and for the last couple of weeks, we cant even talk without a full fledged fight breaking out. How the hell do you just "move on" after this? You know that feeling when you get really upset and it lands right in your throat, and your stomach gets all tight and sick? Im like that all the time. God... I know people have been through much worse, but for me this seems as bad as I can possibly take.
Ill post back tomorrow for anyone who may care about how the court date goes. And even if you dont care, at least I can get it out and maybe feel a little better... Cheers everyone.
