Ledgers in the head, an internal double entry book-keeping accounting system. Seriously: Do you actually consider gift giving in that light? If so, might I venture that you may be missing the point somewhat.
Re gift giving, although Christmas supplies a context, you may find that unexpected and thoughtful gifts, given with kindness and care, are always welcome.
Yes, there are all the arguments about losing sight of the spiritual dimension of Christmas (often made, in my experience, by individuals who would not consider giving gifts in any other context), and how the commercialism and materialism that sometimes mars the Yuletide season may cast a pall over the season, and encourage kids to become too materialistic and entitled, but without this context, which allows for (and even may create expectations) far fewer gifts would ever be exchanged.
And yes, while the spiritual side of Christmas should be saluted, the pagan ancestry need not be forgotten, for, historically, this was a feast period which marked and acknowledged the period of the the depths of winter when the nights were at their darkest and longest, when the sun barely peered over the horizon and daylight was a rare and treasured thing. In such a setting, many societies spent time together, told tales, and I am sure, exchanged gifts.
In an often harsh - or unthinking - or unfeeling - world, an unexpected gifted kindness can bestow a glow not unlike that of a night-light, something that makes you smile internally when you think of it.
Because the context of Christmas allows for it, I now find that it is a very good time to show appreciation for people by giving gifts that may well be appreciated, and - more importantly - which people - for a variety of reasons - may be reluctant to accept at other times of the year.
This Christmas, then, Mother received long johns from me, several pairs, all organic, in a mix of natural materials. Some were cotton and wool, some were wool and silk, and three were a mix of cotton, wool and silk. Comfortable, natural, cosy, and a gift that she will wear and love the feel of.
One brother received wine and olive oil; the other will receive my older MBA and got books (that he had requested).
Our Filipina carer (who wishes to be a chef when she returns home eventually) received a set of copper cookware that she had had her eye on.
The other two individuals who help with caring duties (in addition to what I pay them) received bottles of excellent French wine, - I figured a treat was in order - and, as one has young children, I added a set of Cluedo, a game I had loved as a child, as well.
There is a real pleasure to be had in choosing a gift with care and thought, and knowing that it will give the recipient pleasure.
I mentioned in an earlier post that - as an adult - where the matter of gifts are concerned, the pendulum has swung the other way; these days, in general, one gives, rather than receives gifts, even, or especially at Christmas.
That doesn't mean that it isn't nice to receive something kind, and thoughtful as a gift. Of course it is. Anyone who thinks to gift me a good bottle of wine - and yes, these days I prefer none at all to poor stuff, - will find it most welcome and gratefully received.
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