Eh, I guess I just don't really see the point of all that.
And yes, I've lost people close to me, my grandfather and my uncle that I was very close to. I didn't go to either funeral.
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What do you say to people at funerals?
- Thread starter bigMAC28
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Eh, I guess I just don't really see the point of all that.
And yes, I've lost people close to me, my grandfather and my uncle that I was very close to. I didn't go to either funeral.
Seconded. Or if there's a wake - go to that. Usually more casual, lot of in and out.
I've actually never been to a funeral. 3 grandparents died before birth, no one else in the family or close. Couple teachers died - one didn't know, one really close with and just went to the wake.
Say what you feel like. I'm tired of social conventions and expectations. If you have to go, go. If you end up in a situation where you have to say something, say what you feel. If you think it's a tragedy and that you are sorry for her/his loss than just say so. If you don't know what to say than say that you don't know what to say. I'm always trying to say what's in my head rather than calibrating after unwritten social rules because 1) I don't have to remember if I said something untruthful and 2) my honesty is way more appreciated than a charade I have experienced.
So how did it go?
"I'm sorry for your loss" seems like such a generic cliche phrase. I'd hate saying it, but then I'd have to come up with something better.
So how did it go?
"I'm sorry for your loss" seems like such a generic cliche phrase. I'd hate saying it, but then I'd have to come up with something better.
It was good. He looked like he was taking it very well. His girlfriend was there and it looked like he was keeping it together for her. Its been a few weeks since the funeral and the whole family is doing better than ever. It sounds terrible to say this but it looks like this was a blessing in disguise for the rest of the family.
And what else would you have someone say? While cliche, it is what it is. Accompanied by a hug could help as well.
This isn't directed at you, but I think it's silly that we have to Google what to say at a funeral. What an age we live in when we have to Google everything.
Before the Internet people got along just fine.
I find saying "My sincerest condolences" is better suited than "I'm sorry".
Maybe it's because speaking English as a second language, the word 'sorry' has a slightly negative ring to it for me, it's almost as if you were pitying the person for their loss. Or rather you were apologising for being responsibly. It sounds a tad selfish and inappropriate.
Giving someone your condolences is much more fitting in the case of a death since the word itself means "to grieve with", and that is what your are doing.
Maybe it's because speaking English as a second language, the word 'sorry' has a slightly negative ring to it for me, it's almost as if you were pitying the person for their loss. Or rather you were apologising for being responsibly. It sounds a tad selfish and inappropriate.
Giving someone your condolences is much more fitting in the case of a death since the word itself means "to grieve with", and that is what your are doing.
I think you're right, it's because English isn't your first language. While I agree that sharing your condolences with the grieving person is perfectly appropriate, I can assure you that saying "I'm so sorry" in no way has a negative or inappropriate ring in this context for native speakers.
Unfortunately funerals are in a way a family reunion. People you have not seen in years will most likely show up. Sometimes it's a way to catch up or can be a reason why you don't like seeing the person in the first place. While they might seem as sad events funerals are about celebrating the persons life.