What do you SAY to your computer?

[annk]

"Back!", when my PB unexpectedly says the name of one of my bookmarks (usually "Mac" 😀 ) and the page I'm looking at disappears. Once, this resulted in a sort of argument, the computer saying "Mac" and me responding with "Back", back and forth.

 

[AmigoMac]

We communicate by looks and gestures; a raised eyebrow,a smile, a hesistant walk away.

Ditto.

My wife laughs when I do that, I don't talk to my mac, just look at *him* and *he* know what I think 😉.

 

[Pixeled_Apple]

I hate Windoze so I say to my windoze computer..

you bloody p'f... u can't do s*t 4 me...

f*kn dick jus blood fkn go on the net..

AAAAH!!! (kicks the case)

 

[Jovian9]

Try the v34 modem script. It made all the difference in my case.

What is that? Thanks!

 

[OSX Panther]

🙂

I usually say what i read and do, but the most used word is: arggghhhh!

 

[caveman_uk]

Come On!

Bloody beachball! (why does it happen when in iphoto when you insert a flash card?)

Damn (when I close the window not the tab!)

**** it! (outta battery)

 

[lalcan]

Me and my iBook have a very nice relationship, i don't ask HER to make anything beyond her possibilities and she works quite reliably, not to say that there aren't some times when she needs some "Go, Go, Go" encouragement or even a "Pleeeaaseee!!!" when a spinning beach ball reminds me i only have 256 Mb RAM.

BUT, the fun part is whenever a office neighbor screams something at their Pieces of Crap i smile wholeheartedly and scream "Windowsss!!!" the first months they laughed nicely and played along, but lately they are more frustrated (lots of virus attacks and network problems) and have started looking at my iBook with a mix of envy and anger...

 

[Counterfit]

Whenever I walk away, I hear "What do you think you're doing?" I usually respond "kicking your ass!" but that doesn't seem to work right....

 

[SiliconAddict]

Every time someone talks about naming their computer I keep getting flashes of the movie Hackers and Joey being dragged across the floor naked clinging to Lucie his 'puter. Sad.
But I had a friend bug me enough about what's my computer's name. What did I name my server? What is that computer's name? Ohh a new laptop what is that computer's name? That I did go ahead and name them to shut him up 🙂 At this point its just a game. I've never actually called any of my systems by name.

Server: Dual 766mHz P3's, 1GB RAM, 500GB of storage space, 35/70 DLT tape drive backup, Windows 2003: OCELOT

Primary Laptop: Toshiba Satalite, 866Mhz, 384MB RAM, 60GB hard drive, 15" screen, Windows XP SP2: TIGER

Secondary laptop: Dell CSx, 500Mhz, 512MB RAM, 40GB hard drive, 13" screen, 5 batteries (I can go over a day without charging 🙂 ), Windows XP SP2/Redhat Linux: LYNX

Primary Desktop: Dell Optiplex GX110, 2.4Ghz, 512MB RAM, 40GB hard drive/60GB hard drive for iTunes, Windows XP/Longhorn Alpha release: PUMA

Secondary Desktop: Compaq Deskpro 2000, 233Mhz, 128MB RAM, 2GB hard drive, DOS 6.11/ Windows 3.11 (DOS gaming Rig.): PILE OF ****

PDA: HP Jornada 568, 1GB of storage: KITTEN

Once I get my G5 17" PowerBook 🙄 I'll name it Sabertooth.


As for what I say to my computers. Not much. *shrugs* I never have any problems with them. The systems at work are another matter. I can't post what I say to them here since they will be filtered out and the mods might get a bit pissed. 🙂

 

[DavidLeblond]

*slaps monitor* "hurry up!!!"

Thats funny, I always slap my monitor at work too. A coworker saw me do it once and reminded me that the monitor, keyboard, and mouse (which get the most abuse) are rarely the causes of frustration and to please take it out on the POS attached to them.

 

[latergator116]

*slams iBook lid closed* "f*****' piece of s***!"

This happens when my hard drive goes crazy and and the computer basically locks up.

 

[r6girl]

"you f***ing computer, i said open photoshop!!"
"why the hell can't you connect to the internet now?!"
*slaps monitor* "hurry up!!!"
"you burned me, motha f***a"
"dude, it's at 640x480 on low with the sound off, what more do you want?!"
and other things to be said at a celeron running windows.

🙂 you made me laugh out loud in my cube at work. i'm sure my co-workers think i'm a little loony now.

my exclamations are usually along the lines of your first and second ones. something like "what the f*** i said back, dammit, back!" or "for the love of god, print, you god**** piece of s***." or, "god****** i have closed every other application and you have enough memory so MOVE!" my husband usually slowly backs out of the room and closes the door behind him when i get like that. i will say that i have not gone so far as to smack my powerbook. i usually just pound on the desk and seriously consider throwing something else against the wall.

my husband almost broke his dell once. i thought he was actually going to pull it out of its docking station and throw it on the floor and do a little angry dance on it. he did, however, take the wireless mouse (that i had given him for christmas, even!) and pounded it on the desk a few times and then threw it on the floor and damn near stepped on it. all while cursing like a particularly violent sailor. i'm not going to give him anymore mice.

marianne

 

[Calvinatir]

Are you f***ing serious?! You've got to be f***ing kidding me, i HATE RETYPING EMAILS!

 

[khammack]

Both of my Macs get called pieces of sh*t on a regular basis because they screw up a lot.

The Powermac gets kernel panics on a regular basis because of some screwey ram and the iBook just fails a lot (see my post on iBook for Cube?)

You guys are scaring me. I was going to buy a powerbook, maybe I should just stick with linux...

-kev

 

[encrypt3d]

I just named my iMac Gus, but I call him Throat-Wobbler Mangrove for short.

 

[thecow]

To my 400 MHz TiBook: Stupid screen! Stop flickering!!! Go faster you slow piece of s*it!!!

To my PowerMac dual 1GHz: Argghhhhhhh!! Crappy video card!! UT2K4 is at the lowest settings. Why are you still lagging?

 

[thinkofthestars]

"No! I didn't mean the adjacent dock icon, I meant THAT icon!"

Wow, I thought maybe I was the only person that this happens to. Ugh, and it happens more often than it should. I would turn off magnification if it didn't look so darn cool, since I think that might be the issue.

I don't really say anything else to my iBook though. I love her, she's my baby. Sometimes I tell her how pretty she is and I'll pat the side to the right of the trackpad. Her name is Chloe. I have pictures of her in my wallet 🙂 Hehe, just kidding. That would be kinda scary if I did have pictures. Actually, I do have pictures on my hard drive of when she first came in the mail. That was a beautiful day.

 

[Hemingray]

Both of my Macs get called pieces of sh*t on a regular basis because they screw up a lot.

Same here! "Piece of sh*t" is my most common saying to my computer, mainly to Adobe GoLive 6, which just loves to sit there with a spinning beach ball for 5 MINUTES at a time. It's not really the computer's fault, I don't think, it's POS GoLive's fault. But it's on my computer, so it gets the brunt of my wrath. Poor thing will be replaced by a G5 next year anyway, so I'm trying to be a little easier on it... 😉

 

[iJoe]

I just say my stock answer to anything going wrong:

"For f*ck's sake"

That's it. I'm very consistent.

 

[applekid]

"Oh f*ck me..."

Then again, I use that often when I'm angry at myself or anything I'm doing. I'm a jolly fellow. Really. 😀

 

[Will Curran]

1 stupid peice of s**t!
2 WTF!? IT FROZE AGAIN!?!?!?
3 GO FASTER!!!
4 *sigh* finally
5 argh
6 wtf
7 stupid
8 wish...had...a....mac
9 only ** days still powerbook
10 why didnt i choose a mac
11 wwwwwhhhyyyyyyyyy
12 NOOOOOOO!
13 NO I NEEDED THAT DOCUMENT!
14 wait, what just happened
15 *when start of sound starts* DUN DUN DUN with PEICE OF S**T at the same time

 

[Makosuke]

"Oh f*ck me..."

That is by far the most common thing I say outloud when at my computer, because more often than not whatever goes wrong is my fault (miss the S and hit W when trying to save, close the browser window with a reply in it, that sort of thing).

On the uncommon occasion that something not my fault goes wrong (generally an app problem, not the MacOS itself), a hearty "Oh, ***k no." usually suffices. In particularly severe occasions accompanied by a good smack to the keyboard, though I've learned an AMAZING amount of patience over the past decade of computer work.

As for Windows (which, being a tech guy, I usually work on when there's specifically a problem), I've gotten to a far more accepting state of its not doing what I want it to. So my verbal exclamations are usually restricted to "You've got to be kidding."

Either that, or a heavy sigh paired with smacking my forehead into the desk.

 

[applekid]

Either that, or a heavy sigh paired with smacking my forehead into the desk.

Ah, another favorite gesture for me is placing my head on the desk, as well. My head takes a slow descent towards my desk, especially when my computer is acting particularly slow. Then, once my forehead is touching the desk, I take a quick look at the computer screen to see if things improved, since sometimes my computer feels sympathetic for me. 😀

 

[Mechcozmo]

Who wants to count the number of asterisks used in this thread? How about filtered curse words?

 

[evoluzione]

PC LOAD LETTER!?! WTF DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?

classic from Office Space there.... nice 😉




my usual one, in a somewhat calm voice..... "oh you f***ing c**t" .....followed by me pressing the power button to reboot.

that usually happens after i've spent two hours prescanning a ton of chromes and i go to make the final "scan to disk", set it going so it can spin for the next couple of hours, only to find it crashes 'cause there's a focus error or i load up "shanghai" or other game equally ancient (and i forget it doesn't really like that 🙄 )