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What Secrets Are You Keeping?

Wow, thanks Caliber26, iParis, and xraydoc for your willingness to share.

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steve2112 said:
Wow, why so serious?
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I'm far from upset and am not intending to be overly serious. I guess I'm just trying to set some boundaries.

I think most of us who have been around MR or other forums get annoyed by people who seem to merely post for their own entertainment and could care less about showing any sign of respect for the other posters or the original topic. Our friend waloshin has a reputation for being purposefully odd and quirky with his posts and he's free to represent himself in any way he chooses in this community. However, I do think there are some "unwritten rules" regarding how you treat others and how you interact in the community as a whole. Like I said before I'm all for wit and humor, but if you don't have anything to add to the thread beyond your humor then it can get annoying very quickly. Maybe I should be more patient with him, but I guess I was hoping to just prevent the thread from being derailed. Often it just takes one court jester to bring out more and I'd like to see this thread remain productive and on topic as much as possible.
 
mscriv said:
Wow, thanks Caliber26, iParis, and xraydoc for your willingness to share.

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I'm far from upset and am not intending to be overly serious. I guess I'm just trying to set some boundaries.

I think most of us who have been around MR or other forums get annoyed by people who seem to merely post for their own entertainment and could care less about showing any sign of respect for the other posters or the original topic. Our friend waloshin has a reputation for being purposefully odd and quirky with his posts and he's free to represent himself in any way he chooses in this community. However, I do think there are some "unwritten rules" regarding how you treat others and how you interact in the community as a whole. Like I said before I'm all for wit and humor, but if you don't have anything to add to the thread beyond your humor then it can get annoying very quickly. Maybe I should be more patient with him, but I guess I was hoping to just prevent the thread from being derailed. Often it just takes one court jester to bring out more and I'd like to see this thread remain productive and on topic as much as possible.
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You're right, but time to move on. Ignore the guy who is bothering you and concentrate on the people who are contributing. I've seen more reply posts from you berating one poster then actually commenting on anything other posters have said.
 
I'm good with secrets in the sense that I very faithfully keep ones that are told to me. I guess I must come across as a trustworthy person, because on numerous occasions, people I've hardly known have "confessed" all sorts of secrets/worries to me...

As far as my own go, I'm a pretty private person in the sense that I'm unwilling to share my intimate thoughts with most people. I don't know if you count that as keeping secrets or simply being introverted, though. :eek:

I hide some things because it feels easier that way, although nothing really serious. In most cases there aren't any side effects to not sharing the full story, but a few times it's lead to hurt feelings, and I've regretted it in hindsight. Guess I'm working on being a more open person, but it doesn't come naturally to me other than with a select few that I "click" with. ;)
 
Mac'nCheese said:
You're right, but time to move on. Ignore the guy who is bothering you and concentrate on the people who are contributing.
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Agreed, thanks for the accountability.


Iscariot said:
I think they're a complete waste of time and energy.
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leekohler said:
I came out to all my straight ice hockey guys a few weeks ago, and they were like, "Really? We all figured that out a while ago. Duh- ... we knew all along."

Secrets are silly.
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You guys bring up a great point. Often, what we think we are hiding about ourselves is actually already known and accepted by those around us. Generally speaking, people are not as oblivious as we think they are and they have most likely already picked up on what we think we are hiding from them.

I think the danger is that when we spend our time and energy trying to "manage our image" by keeping secrets about ourselves, we tend to actually do more harm than good. Relationships are worthless if they are not genuine.
 
LeahM said:
You can call me worshipful master anytime.. :p


Why do I keep secrets? Because it was important enough for someone to ask me not to tell anyone.
Personal secrets, well no one has ever asked the right questions, so I don't consider it to be a secret. I think of it more as a question unasked.
That and I like to keep people at a distance, but thats a whole other story.
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I agree with you! Most things in life aren't necessarily a lie or a secret if no one has made an attempt to learn more about you.
 
hm....is this a trap?
Many secrets.....after 20 yrs of being in the Navy.
I'm just not ready to go to jail.
I hope to write a book one day after some of this stuff gets declassified....if it ever does.
Mando
 
Three big secrets I carry are that three of my good friends are gay. They all came out to me and as far as I know, only I know that they are gay. Strange thing is, they don't know the others are gay (at least I don't think they know).
 
mscriv said:
Why are you keeping your secrets? Are you afraid for others to know the truth? Are you respecting the confidence of someone? Are you bound by legal reasons?
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On a professional level, I've held various secrets for years. People's pay and promotions, departmental plans etc. could all turn into a legal mess if you were careless who you told that stuff too... it's part of the job of being a manager to be circumspect about that sort of thing.

On a personal level, I believe in the power of openness and honesty with my own thoughts/secrets - while respecting the secrets of others. People won't be open with you, if they think they can't trust you.

In the main, I'd characterise my family as being pretty cold, unemotional and poor at sharing personal thoughts. Up to my 20s I followed that pattern, and to an extent that is still my default. However, I do believe that being closed up is pretty damaging to your own psychological growth. Luckily I have some good friends - including one that I would (and am) happy to share any personal detail with. It is a fight to try and be more open, while having this innately closed/distrusting backdrop.
 
Caliber26 said:
I occasionally hook up with my male cousin, who's married to a girl.
I keep this one from my family because he's supposedly straight (I'm openly gay with everyone) and that would leave everyone up in arms and cause a divorce. Personally, I don't feel remorse. His wife is a rude ***** and she deserves it, plus it's my cousin's responsibility since he's the one who recited vows and promised monogamy.
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I sleep with married guys once in a while. Doesn't bother me either. I just hate when they start telling me how much they love their wife and kids. Really? Who are they trying to fool? It certainly isn't me.
 
My secret... I tell my wife I have been studying biochemistry for four hours when I really have been sitting on Macrumors for a majority of that time... I think it is because my wife thinks I am a genius and work really hard and I would hate to change her opinion because it took me so long to make her realize that I really do know everything...

I also profess to be a very open and straightforward person and have those expectations of others, but I think I relate to the introvert when I really don't say some things without an intention of keeping it a secret, but just because I have that small part of me that I just don't share with anyone.
 
I've killed a person before. Never got caught, even brag about it with fellow serial killers. But enough about playing the sims.

I cant say I have any secrets. I'm very open about everything, and brutally honest. It's amusing, insulting, and most importantly, easier to manage since I don't have to remember who knows what.
 
Ive got secrets (mostly about myself)...and I keep them for various reasons.

The main reason is that my personal matters/business is no concern of others. I very rarely discuss my personal life with anyone, not co-workers, nor the few friends I have.

That said, I've got some stellar secrets Id like to share about myself...Some that Im sure would be surprising to some of the members of this forum that think they know me from my posts.
 
leekohler said:
I sleep with married guys once in a while. Doesn't bother me either. I just hate when they start telling me how much they love their wife and kids. Really? Who are they trying to fool? It certainly isn't me.
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Two thumbs up for the guy who commits adultery? Jesus, don't you know that's a sin?
 
leekohler said:
I sleep with married guys once in a while. Doesn't bother me either. I just hate when they start telling me how much they love their wife and kids. Really? Who are they trying to fool? It certainly isn't me.
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Themselves. That's my guess, anyways... Not that it really makes much of a difference if it comes out to hurt others, though.

Fear is a very powerful emotion, and people ignore the painfully obvious all the time. It's pretty sad that it has to be that way, and from the sidelines you can certainly pity them, but at the same time it's hard to imagine how some people are so blind to how much happier they could be, if they only would deal with their fear of the unknown.
 
Firestar said:
Are you talking to the people who thumbed him up or Lee?
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Its an open forum, I'm speaking to whomever cares to listen. I found it to be an odd post to give a thumbs up to What part do they like? The sleeping with a married man part? The part that seems to imply they don't love their children anymore because they are having an affair? Just seemed weird to me...
 
Mac'nCheese said:
Its an open forum, I'm speaking to whomever cares to listen. I found it to be an odd post to give a thumbs up to What part do they like? The sleeping with a married man part? The part that seems to imply they don't love their children anymore because they are having an affair? Just seemed weird to me...
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Seemed? It is weird. Just another reminder that the consensus here isn't always in the main stream as much as people would try to convince you.
 
I know what you did last summer. [/amateur hour]


I used to work in the media and had to keep off the record items off the record. I don't know that those were secrets, but as skunk mentioned, "need to know" is the key. Often the truth is more damaging than the lie. It's a case by case decision. Maintaining the illusion is important.
 
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