I'll confirm most of the advice. RAM is simple as dirt if you're the least handy with a jeweler's screwdriver, so get that 3rd party. OWC and CanadaRAM are both trustworthy, reliable, and fairly priced sources. Kingston and Crucial, while good quality, have some pricing that can grate the nerves at times. Just do NOT buy RAM from Apple. They price it as a convenience to them, not you. The current MBP (and MB) handle up to 4GB, and can be swapped by you at any time. No rush there.
Hard drive space is also something that you can't have too much of, but as has been noted, is problematic to swap yourself on the Pro line, as it's not considered by Apple to be user-replaceable. Get as much of that from Apple as you can handle, price-wise, and be done with it. Again, drive speed will not be an issue for 99% of your work. 4200rpm vs 5400rpm will be unnoticeable.
In the Pro line, you have a choice of glossy or matte displays. You need to look at each side by side and determine what's best for you. Folks will argue vehemently about the relative merits, but it all boils down to personal preference. I like glossy, but can live with matte. Like I said, do a comparison launching basic apps that will give you an idea of what you would encounter in your day to day usage.
As far as the gender thing, many of our forum mods are of the "female persuasion", and pretty much kick our asses on a regular basis. Don't let the juveniles annoy or pester you. Mix it up, take no guff, and welcome to the family!