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When did people start putting babies in separate rooms to sleep?

pilotError said:
They like to feel your body? Seriously? You can't sleep with a baby, even a heavy blanket will smother them. Ever hear of people rolling onto their children and killing them?

What's the difference if you had them in a Bassinet two feet away or in a Bassinet two rooms away?

This is just Crazy Talk!
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People sleep with their baby safely all the time. There are fewer deaths per year (in the US) due to parents smothering their children than from children dying in unsafe cribs. Only about 30 babies a year are killed because of this.

As to if there is a difference between being in a bassinet in your room or a few rooms away, part of the comfort of being close is the warmth, sounds, smells, etc. that the baby is used to from being in the womb. You're not going to give that to them three rooms away.
 
Raising a child is kind of like riding a bull. You can sit around the coffee house all day going over how to do it right, and at the end of the day you can say that you "know" how to ride a bull. But to actually be sitting on top of one when that gates opens is an entirely different matter and it isn't until that moment that you REALLY comprehend what is going on.

My girlfriend and I had a lot of ideas on how things were gonna work out, man were we wrong.
 
I'm going to hypothesize that historically it started once houses started getting heat in multiple rooms. Houses eliminated the humans need to be pack animals. Instead of hanging out in packs for heat and protection a house allowed the formation of smaller autonomous units to survive on their own.

Most other mammals keep their young close for heat and protection. With houses and central heat, or heaters in multiple rooms, these reasons for keeping our young close were no longer requirements.

If you look at other mammals for an example most don't kick their young out of their pack until they can take care of themselves. Should we keep children in bed with their parents until they are in their teens? How are families supposed to have more than one child?

Which brings up the social taboos about sex, which I'm sure played no small part in getting the kids out of the same room, so that what had become an almost completely private endeavor could remain so.

Our oldest (3) had a lot of issues sleeping in her own room up until about 6 months ago, and much of that had to do with being a spoiled only child for 2.5 years. We're repeating some of the same mistakes with our youngest (9 months) but we're also giving her more of a chance to self pacify (neglected younger child). Both are healthy and happy, seemingly well adjusted children for their ages but of course there's a happy balance between coddling a child for too long and traumatizing them. Every child will be different and every parent will try to find that balance in a different way, and no manual, armchair quarterback, or book pushing doctor are going to have the answers, they might have good suggestions, but at the end of the day parents and kids have to find what works for them.
 
(CREEPY POST OF THE DAY)(I THINK I WIN!!)



People have sex in the same room as their animals.

So should people have sex in the same room as their baby!

ZOMG think of the POSSIBILTIES. I mean cause when i am pounding my wife it turns me on to hear my baby crying!!
 
galganog said:
(CREEPY POST OF THE DAY)(I THINK I WIN!!)



People have sex in the same room as their animals.

So should people have sex in the same room as their baby!

ZOMG think of the POSSIBILTIES. I mean cause when i am pounding my wife it turns me on to hear my baby crying!!
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Of the day? How about of the year? But anyway, you do make a good point. As long as the baby is under a year old you probably won't cause him/her any psychological problems by having sex with him/her in the room. The only downside is, once the baby starts crying your wife's attention immediately goes to him/her, leaving you high and dry! :eek:
 
galganog said:
(CREEPY POST OF THE DAY)(I THINK I WIN!!)



People have sex in the same room as their animals.

So should people have sex in the same room as their baby!

ZOMG think of the POSSIBILTIES. I mean cause when i am pounding my wife it turns me on to hear my baby crying!!
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...an awkward silence engulfs the thread...
 
Jade Cambell said:
*SOB**........ I sent you a private message. Please read it.
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I read your PM. Can I quote the whole PM for everyone to read? I will hide the real names given if you'd like.

So your mother wrote a book about parenting, does she recommend that every parent raise their kids in the same fashion, using the same techniques?

Do you have children?

According to you I should be jailed and I caused my daughter brain damage and life long self-esteem issues. Well, I don't believe the brain damage bit, nor do I believe I caused her any life long self-esteem/image issues.

I also believe that having some self-doubt is a very healthy thing. Ever try to teach someone who thought they were perfect? What do you think about little league sports where they don't keep score? Ever read The Millionaire Mind?
 
Abstract said:
And sticky.
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That too.

LumbermanSVO said:
According to you I should be jailed and I caused my daughter brain damage and life long self-esteem issues. Well, I don't believe the brain damage bit, nor do I believe I caused her any life long self-esteem/image issues.

I also believe that having some self-doubt is a very healthy thing. Ever try to teach someone who thought they were perfect? What do you think about little league sports where they don't keep score? Ever read The Millionaire Mind?
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That's briliant, the part about self doubt. I'd never really thought about it like that before but you're right. The most important part, though, is that you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. How you raise your child is your business and no one can say anything about it (unless you actually do abuse her, but that's a whole other story). The only hard and fast rule about parenting is that there are no hard and fast rules about parenting. Any books on parenting are just one person's opinion and should be treated as such. We just try our best, making it up as we go along, and hope in the end that we didn't screw the kids up too much.
 
Iscariot said:
Babies living in terror? Well I, for one, say good! It's high time baby kind was revealed for the conspiratal terror network it truly represents.

America needs to wake up to the real terror threat!

For decades babies have clothed themselves in "the miracle of birth", wearing it like a suit of armor to deflect criticism and to bury the facts. Puppy-dog eyes and lopsided smiles serve only to distract from their dark and sinister desires, to hide away their evil machinations. Since nearly the dawn of man, we've slaved under our baby oppressors, given unto them our earnings and our women, forced to hunt and gather and forgo sleep and luxury to bend over backwards for their every whim. I ask you, when was the last time you saw a baby put in an honest days work, and not leech parasitically from our society? When was the last time a baby fed you, read you a story or spent his or her earnings on a shiny new bauble for you? Their cries ring out at every Denny's, every Outback Steakhouse, thieving little monsters stealing away precious leisure-minutes from even those who have escaped their grasp.

Do not be fooled. Every second, every penny they whisk away from you is used to fuel their enormous outer space nightmare machine, a twisted amalgamation of technology and black magicks, designed to tear through the fabric of space time and sew nothing but despair. It will fell every sunny day, every picturesque beach, every rainbow and break the back of every surf bum. We must rise up against the babykin before it is too late, before they have called to the old gods and enslaved us all.
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lol this is hilarious.

sounds like something someone read to Stewie from Family Guy which has made him hate the adults :) lol
 
LumbermanSVO said:
I read your PM. Can I quote the whole PM for everyone to read? I will hide the real names given if you'd like.

So your mother wrote a book about parenting, does she recommend that every parent raise their kids in the same fashion, using the same techniques?

Do you have children?

According to you I should be jailed and I caused my daughter brain damage and life long self-esteem issues. Well, I don't believe the brain damage bit, nor do I believe I caused her any life long self-esteem/image issues.

I also believe that having some self-doubt is a very healthy thing. Ever try to teach someone who thought they were perfect? What do you think about little league sports where they don't keep score? Ever read The Millionaire Mind?
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Wait a minute. This guy not only thinks he knows everything about everything, but also has a mother who wrote a book about parenting? This sounds like someone who was banned a while ago...

Anyone else expecting advocation of "The Secret" as the solution to all of life's problems soon?
 
geezus...what a weird post. Jade, this post is so far out there, it's unreal.

I mean, you could have asked that question without your warped views on it.
Obviously, you don't have kids, nor have you been around kids.

why do we put them in seperate rooms?
the reasons are quite simple:
1. for the parents to get adequate sleep in order to BE good parents. ever try to parent or take care of a baby when you've had a few hours of sleep? not fun, easy to lose patience and easier to not think straight.

2. to not coddle the kid. there are plenty of views of not allowing kids to sleep in the same room, let alone the same bed. BUT, every kid I've ever known to sleep in the same bed/room as the parents is a SUCK. They can't stand up for themselves for anything; they expect their parents to do everything for them and they whine big time. Sure, maybe some kids aren't like this, but none that i know.

3. routine. ya, it seems kind of mean to leave the kid crying, but they need to know when it's bed time. you actually bring up a good point that they don't know time...you're right. so how else do they get to understand time? or anything else for that matter? Did you ever think that helping a child 'learn time' helps their development b/c they get the proper rest they need to thrive at the next feeding or during the next day? a routine is absolutely critical for both the parents and child. Once a kid is in a routine, they instinctively know when it's time to eat, time for bed etc..etc.. so they can enjoy time in between without worrying about those things.

this is definitely the weirdest post i've seen here. again, your question was fine, but your running commentary was what i found to be the weirdest.

i'll give the benefit of doubt and assume you're either really young or just were drunk or stoned when you wrote it :)

Cheers,
Keebler
 
Here is the text from that PM.

Jade Cambell said:
Hello,

Your post in my thread about babies being put in separate rooms at night, completely broke my heart. And not for the same reason that your girlfriend was crying when you came back to bed.

I'm gonna make this short. The baby needs to be sleeping with her parents, in the same bed. Not in a separate bassinet in the same room, but in the same bed. The only way a baby knows that they're alive is by contact with human skin. They don't have language, they don't have a concept of time. She needs the physical connection with her mother. She should be sleeping in the same bed with her.

Those screams that you heard from the bassinet were the screams of terror that were coming from a being that was fearing for it's life. She felt alone, abandoned, and uncared for. That's why she screams in terror. The point that they stop screaming is the point that their spirit has been crushed and they have given up hope. And then we wonder why so many teenagers kill themselves? It's the way they were brought up.

Have you seen another mammal (let's take a bear for instance) place it's baby in a basket RIGHT NEXT to them, but not cuddling up with them? And then when they scream in terror they shove them away even further because the sound annoys them? I can't believe that a society has actually instilled an idea such as 'babies should sleep by themselves' into the citizens in such a concrete way that even mothers don't follow their parental instincts! Your girlfriend's tears were the natural reaction to a completely unnatural and harmful action on your part. The fact that she thanked you the next morning only means that like I said, society has blinded her maternal instincts.

Putting a baby to sleep by itself in a bassinet or in it's own room is one of the most harmful and life-altering things you can do to a child. It's unnatural, and it causes insecurity, brain damage (that's right, brain damage. If you're taking what i'm saying seriously I invite you to go research this before even finishing my message, but if you're disregarding what i'm saying as drivel, then I can only hope that sometime in the not so distant future, America will be run by a government that would arrest you for child abuse), and life long negative effects on the child's image of themselves and their self esteem.

My mom is ****, a parenting psychologist and counselor, and one of the more outspoken voices about this topic. She wrote the book ****, which is available on amazon.com. She does not even know i'm writing this message. This is no way an ad for her services. I just felt so sorry for your daughter when I read your post, it almost made me cry. You put the poor girl through torture simply because you didn't realize that she needs to be sleeping together with her parents. I'm not judging you. You're innocent, along with the millions of other parents who are unknowingly doing one of the most insanely stupid acts that a parent can do.

Please, PLEASE listen to what i'm saying. I'm simply attempting to re-plant seeds of humanity where they have been torn up by lies.

Thanks for your time,

****
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Jade Cambell said:
No other mammal does this, and only some human cultures do it. When did it start? Parents put their baby in a crib in a separate room, and it wails in terror because it needs it's mothers body, and it doesn't have a concept of time. It can't know that someone will come back later. It usually takes several months for the baby's spirit to be completely murdered to the point where they no longer cry. They've given up hope.

But why did parents start having their babies sleep in separate rooms? How did that start? I've looked it up everywhere, and i've found no solid info.
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Where did this stem from? I mean, what made you post this? It's a little odd.

As a mother myself of 3 kids I didn't put my children into their own room until they were fully sleeping through the night and didn't need me. That was around 4-12 (1-3 months) weeks of age. Even then they had a monitor on when asleep with sounds and breathing. Babies don't cry in terror, it's their way if saying they need something, or something is wrong.

Either way putting them in a seperate room at night and allowing them to cry all night won't allow you sleep anyway. The parental instict is too strong. Well it was in me and my husband. Just as we sometimes had her in our bed to feed off me when she pleased and your instict is not to turn over in the night when she is there. It's strange and I can't explain it.

I don't agree with what you said (babies spirit being murdered (I agree if being abused) but not just by being put in another room and attended to if crying), but of course there will always be bad people in the world who just leave them, or worse. It doesn't bare thinking about though.
 
why kids are tools these days

"I'm gonna make this short. The baby needs to be sleeping with her parents, in the same bed. Not in a separate bassinet in the same room, but in the same bed. The only way a baby knows that they're alive is by contact with human skin. They don't have language, they don't have a concept of time. She needs the physical connection with her mother. She should be sleeping in the same bed with her."

This is how you end up with the kids breast feeding until they're 4 years old and aren't socialized when they get to school. They are so used to being coddled and totally protected by their parents, they go into shock if someone doesn't hug them and sing kumbyah everytime they start crying. These are also the kids that you see throwing tantrums and hitting their parents every time they don't get their way. Oh wait, Supernanny and Wife Swap wouldn't be as funny/ridiculous if we didn't coddle the young so much.

A lot of times crying is just an attention getter. My cousins used that trick all the time. Eventually my grandpa said to my aunt, "Quit picking them up, they'll never stop crying if you run to them every time." It is common practice when I'm out with my friends with kids, if the kid falls, don't look. But you always have that one mom who goes running over "You're alright..." That's the kid that cries. If you look away, the kid will keep on playing after brushing off their scrapes.
 
Kids benefit from having some time separate from the parents and God knows the parents need a break. The crying only lasts a day or two until the kid realizes that this is the way it's going to be from now on. :)
 
Right, we know those are "screams of terror" because that's the only thing a baby would ever scream and cry about. They don't ever cry just because they're hungry, or tired, uncomfortable or anything trivial like that. :rolleyes:

Now I'm going to take a guess. The first blank is Naomi Aldort and the second blank is Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. If I'm right, someone hasn't been following the rules about not reregistering to avoid a ban.
 
Have you seen another mammal (let's take a bear for instance) place it's baby in a basket RIGHT NEXT to them, but not cuddling up with them? And then when they scream in terror they shove them away even further because the sound annoys them? I can't believe that a society has actually instilled an idea such as 'babies should sleep by themselves' into the citizens in such a concrete way that even mothers don't follow their parental instincts! Your girlfriend's tears were the natural reaction to a completely unnatural and harmful action on your part. The fact that she thanked you the next morning only means that like I said, society has blinded her maternal instincts.
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No, I haven't. But I do watch Animal Planet, Discover Channel, etc, and have seen when the momma animal ups and walks away from her babies, leaving them totally alone, not knowing what to do (BTW, it was a documentary on cheetahs). Why? Because it was time for them to be on their own, learning how to hunt, etc.

Sorry, can't compare bear maternal instincts to human instincts (at least not all of them).
 
Members of the Animal Kingdom also eat their young.

There's some things you can stretch to prove your point, I just don't think this is one of them.
 
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