skunk
macrumors G4
Some of them eat their husbands...
When did people start putting babies in separate rooms to sleep?
- Thread starter Jade Cambell
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atszyman
macrumors 68020
Just how long is a parent supposed to coddle their child? 3 months, 6 months, 5 years? If there's one thing I've learned so far with our kids it's that the longer you let them do something habitually the harder it is to break that habit, as it is with any habit. Surely it can be agreed that there is an age at which it becomes inappropriate and/or infeasible for parents and children to share a room and/or bed.
Since every child is different, and every parent is different, every family will find their own ideal time for the baby and parents to embrace separate beds/rooms.
Comparing us to other mammals or even other animals is completely facetious. Without houses to keep them warm and protect them animals tend to congregate to provide necessities that humans have obtained through other means. If you keep up with the other animals analogies, most of them kick out their young at roughly one year old or less to allow for the next crop of youngsters, which if you look at it that way is not all that different than humans who will usually move the baby into their own room within the first year of his/her life. I would argue that biologically we're hardwired to move the kids of the parents bed/room within the first year since in theory humans can reproduce roughly every 10-11 months, moving the current baby out makes room for the next baby.
If we're truly trying to avoid any trauma a baby might experience we'll have to figure out a way to keep them in the womb. Sure, moving them into their own room might be traumatizing, but I can't imagine anything more traumatizing than birth. The only environment that a baby has known before birth is serenely floating in a nice warm, dark environment where everything you could want gets put directly into your system through a tube in your stomach. At birth the baby is moved to a bright, loud, cold environment where he or she doesn't have any freedom of movement and he or she has to figure out this whole eating/pooping concept for nourishment and waste removal. Even being held by their parents is drastically different and unfamiliar compared to what he or she was used to.
Since every child is different, and every parent is different, every family will find their own ideal time for the baby and parents to embrace separate beds/rooms.
Comparing us to other mammals or even other animals is completely facetious. Without houses to keep them warm and protect them animals tend to congregate to provide necessities that humans have obtained through other means. If you keep up with the other animals analogies, most of them kick out their young at roughly one year old or less to allow for the next crop of youngsters, which if you look at it that way is not all that different than humans who will usually move the baby into their own room within the first year of his/her life. I would argue that biologically we're hardwired to move the kids of the parents bed/room within the first year since in theory humans can reproduce roughly every 10-11 months, moving the current baby out makes room for the next baby.
If we're truly trying to avoid any trauma a baby might experience we'll have to figure out a way to keep them in the womb. Sure, moving them into their own room might be traumatizing, but I can't imagine anything more traumatizing than birth. The only environment that a baby has known before birth is serenely floating in a nice warm, dark environment where everything you could want gets put directly into your system through a tube in your stomach. At birth the baby is moved to a bright, loud, cold environment where he or she doesn't have any freedom of movement and he or she has to figure out this whole eating/pooping concept for nourishment and waste removal. Even being held by their parents is drastically different and unfamiliar compared to what he or she was used to.
Eric Piercey
macrumors 6502
Of the day? How about of the year? But anyway, you do make a good point. As long as the baby is under a year old you probably won't cause him/her any psychological problems by having sex with him/her in the room. The only downside is, once the baby starts crying your wife's attention immediately goes to him/her, leaving you high and dry!
Nothing.. and I mean nothing is less of a turn on than your baby crying. May as well shove bamboo splinters .. well you get the picture. The crying infant is definitely one of nature's little birth control devices.
Iscariot: masterfully done
Oh I murdered my kids spirits? Hm. I'll remember that the next time my 2 and 4 year old sons are having a fit over a toy or something.. "It's because I killed their spirits. It's all my fault." Then I'll go out in the garage and play poker on the internet and have a smoke while they tear each other in half over a matchbox car or who gets what sippy cup. People talk about the "pusification" of America and I disagree with a lot of the criticism. I think we _can stand_ to be more sensitive in many ways but having raised two little boys through infancy I can tell you, not killing or dying due to lack of sleep is up there on the list of good ideas. It takes a few nights of letting them "cry it out." You just need to make sure they have what they need. You can even go in and check on them- so they see you there, but don't linger too long. You don't want to randomly reward their crying but rather establish that you're in range. There's also so very cool stuff out there like vibrating crib gadgets that generate sensory white noise that's quite soothing to infants.
I heard Elvis slept with his mom till he was 12.
Seriously, I have 4 kids all of them breast-fed. My wife let them lay in the bed while nursing but put them in a bassinet when they were done and we moved them to a crib at 4-6 months. All my kids are normal well adjusted people. Everyone I know who let there kids sleep with them had a terrible time getting them to sleep in their own rooms when they were older. It ended up costing them YEARS of aggravation.
Seriously, I have 4 kids all of them breast-fed. My wife let them lay in the bed while nursing but put them in a bassinet when they were done and we moved them to a crib at 4-6 months. All my kids are normal well adjusted people. Everyone I know who let there kids sleep with them had a terrible time getting them to sleep in their own rooms when they were older. It ended up costing them YEARS of aggravation.
RedTomato
macrumors 601
Interesting views.
I'm over 30, and I still like to sleep with my partner every night. I'm sure most of you also like to cuddle up with someone special every night. Who are we to deny this to a 6 month old baby?
I have a 3 year old daughter, who sleeps with us, so I'm entitled to shove my oar in here.
First, I want to say all families are different. As my partner often says, parenting is the hardest job in the world, so I don't want to preach to anyone here. I'll just describe my story.
Our daughter slept in the same bed with us up to about 2, then she started saying she wanted her own bed. So we made one for her, a cot next to our bed, with one side of the cot removed so she can move between the two as she wants.
When we announced our plans of having her sleep in the same bed with us, most of our friends (without kids of their own) were horrified. Doctors, nurses too. We got sent newspaper cuttings of adults squashing their kids in bed.
Sorry, if you haven't done the research, or don't have kids of your own, shut up please.
The literature clearly defines several risk factors with regards to sleeping with babies: parents are smokers; overweight; drug use (inc sleeping tablets); drinking before bed; extreme weather (heatwave or cold snap). Almost every case that I've seen has several or often all of these risk factors.
We have none of these factors, so we decided it was safe for us. If one of us had been to the pub or to a party and had a couple, then would sleep far away from the baby, (or on the sofa) and the other parent would take responsibility for the night.
My partner also breastfed her up to about age 2 and a half, when my daughter started saying it was time for her to grow up. Yup, she also made the choice herself.
The WHO (UN World Health Organisation, the world's top health body) recommends breast feeding for minimum 1 year, and 2 or 3 years if possible. In Finland, about 95% of mothers breastfeed for a year or more, in the UK, it's about 6%, so it's completely cultural.
When she was a baby, we took the attitude that if she cried, it was for a reason. Hungry, tired, thirsty, wanted nappy changed, hot, cold, wanted cuddle etc.
We treated her as an intelligent person, with reasons for her actions, as someone who has a right to know what's going on, who doesn't like being patronised or treated as a dumb object. And as someone who likes a cuddle every now and then. Same as any adult really.
You know what, it works. Our child is a strong independent girl. She sorts out her own problems, as she knows we're there for her. She falls over, she doesn't cry, she picks herself up and demands to get back on whatever she fell off. She picks fights and arguments with children twice her size and often wins
I'd say our biggest problem over the last year was in getting her to go to sleep on her own, and accept that we'd come to bed later. As new parents, we didn't really know how to approach this properly, but that's been sorted out the last few months, and she happily goes to sleep on her own now.
I just want to say, you know, this is 2008, not Sparta.
And to the truck driver who moved his baby out so that he could sleep. Yes absolutely right - you did what worked for you, and you had to do it. Otherwise, as you said, you were risking other people's lives on the road.
And Iscariot, lovely post!
xxRedTomato
I'm over 30, and I still like to sleep with my partner every night. I'm sure most of you also like to cuddle up with someone special every night. Who are we to deny this to a 6 month old baby?
I have a 3 year old daughter, who sleeps with us, so I'm entitled to shove my oar in here.
First, I want to say all families are different. As my partner often says, parenting is the hardest job in the world, so I don't want to preach to anyone here. I'll just describe my story.
Our daughter slept in the same bed with us up to about 2, then she started saying she wanted her own bed. So we made one for her, a cot next to our bed, with one side of the cot removed so she can move between the two as she wants.
When we announced our plans of having her sleep in the same bed with us, most of our friends (without kids of their own) were horrified. Doctors, nurses too. We got sent newspaper cuttings of adults squashing their kids in bed.
Sorry, if you haven't done the research, or don't have kids of your own, shut up please.
The literature clearly defines several risk factors with regards to sleeping with babies: parents are smokers; overweight; drug use (inc sleeping tablets); drinking before bed; extreme weather (heatwave or cold snap). Almost every case that I've seen has several or often all of these risk factors.
We have none of these factors, so we decided it was safe for us. If one of us had been to the pub or to a party and had a couple, then would sleep far away from the baby, (or on the sofa) and the other parent would take responsibility for the night.
My partner also breastfed her up to about age 2 and a half, when my daughter started saying it was time for her to grow up. Yup, she also made the choice herself.
The WHO (UN World Health Organisation, the world's top health body) recommends breast feeding for minimum 1 year, and 2 or 3 years if possible. In Finland, about 95% of mothers breastfeed for a year or more, in the UK, it's about 6%, so it's completely cultural.
When she was a baby, we took the attitude that if she cried, it was for a reason. Hungry, tired, thirsty, wanted nappy changed, hot, cold, wanted cuddle etc.
We treated her as an intelligent person, with reasons for her actions, as someone who has a right to know what's going on, who doesn't like being patronised or treated as a dumb object. And as someone who likes a cuddle every now and then. Same as any adult really.
You know what, it works. Our child is a strong independent girl. She sorts out her own problems, as she knows we're there for her. She falls over, she doesn't cry, she picks herself up and demands to get back on whatever she fell off. She picks fights and arguments with children twice her size and often wins
I'd say our biggest problem over the last year was in getting her to go to sleep on her own, and accept that we'd come to bed later. As new parents, we didn't really know how to approach this properly, but that's been sorted out the last few months, and she happily goes to sleep on her own now.
I just want to say, you know, this is 2008, not Sparta.
And to the truck driver who moved his baby out so that he could sleep. Yes absolutely right - you did what worked for you, and you had to do it. Otherwise, as you said, you were risking other people's lives on the road.
And Iscariot, lovely post!
xxRedTomato