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When did you " make it " in life? Or thought you did?
- Thread starter G51989
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Haha! Her wheel always wins. Instead of spending money on airfare, fighting through customs, finding an expensive hotel room; I'll relax here. Don't even have to unpack.
This thread is turning depressing.
Do what makes you happy, the significant other will be there doing what makes them happy. Then you both can spend the rest of your lives doing what makes each of you happy, together. Stop looking and start enjoying.
Material things are crap. It's the journey, memories, experiences.
The boat is cheaper, easier, significantly more enjoyable way to reach those goals. I'm tired of fighting customs, the rising cost of airfare and fuel, finding a hotel room to stay in for a month ( heck talk about expensive and you need a month, just to scratch the surface of what a new city has to offer ).
I'll just cruise for practically free and smile at the rising and setting sun.
Are you one of the lucky ones with a pension?
From a professional standpoint, I thought I made it completing Navy flight school (34 years ago), later acquiring a flying job with a major carrier (27 years ago), finally when I retired with a pension (1.5 years ago). Although pensions are becoming a thing of the past, I thank President Roosevelt and liberals of the 1930s for my pension and being in a position to retire. As a reminder, this is not PRSI.
Are you one of the lucky ones with a pension?
From a professional standpoint, I thought I made it completing Navy flight school (34 years ago), later acquiring a flying job with a major carrier (27 years ago), finally when I retired with a pension (1.5 years ago). Although pensions are becoming a thing of the past, I thank President Roosevelt and liberals of the 1930s for my pension and being in a position to retire. As a reminder, this is not PRSI.
The only pension I will receive is Canada Pension, which as a Canadian, we all pay into when we work. Never had the opportunity to work for a large enough corporation to offer me a pension. With some wise real estate investments, starting in the 70's, I set a goal for myself of when I wanted to retire and am seeing the reality of that goal. Was also fortunate enough to have two decent careers to help me fund that goal.
That's a pretty awesome life you have lead. Many people do not get the opportunities you or I may have had many years ago.
My family is still my "I made it in life". I have a darling wife of 20+ years and two boys who are making quite something out of themselves.
This is the real reward, not how much you make, but family and the contributions you make on various levels. I wonder if the Canadian Pension is the equivalent of Social Security here in the States?
I guess it depends on the yardstick you adopt. For those at the top end of the income scale, success in many cases is the accumulation of wealth or exercise of power. I have to believe wealth in itself is a shallow yardstick and power only counts if it is used for the greater good, along the lines of a Ghandi or Martin Luther King. For the majority, I believe success is measured on a smaller scale in our personal relationships.
When I finished grad school I thought I made it.
Then, when my wife and I bought our first house I thought I made it.
Then, when I got my current job and my wife was able to stay home with the kids I thought I made it.
Then, I reflected on my life and realized that I'm never going to "really" feel like I've made it.
So to answer the OP, I haven't made it and have no plans to ever make it
Then, when my wife and I bought our first house I thought I made it.
Then, when I got my current job and my wife was able to stay home with the kids I thought I made it.
Then, I reflected on my life and realized that I'm never going to "really" feel like I've made it.
So to answer the OP, I haven't made it and have no plans to ever make it
Excellent post.
Are you one of the lucky ones with a pension?
From a professional standpoint, I thought I made it completing Navy flight school (34 years ago), later acquiring a flying job with a major carrier (27 years ago), finally when I retired with a pension (1.5 years ago). Although pensions are becoming a thing of the past, I thank President Roosevelt and liberals of the 1930s for my pension and being in a position to retire. As a reminder, this is not PRSI.
Two excellent posts.
I agree that it depends on however one chooses to measure 'made it'. For some, it is the accumulation of material possessions.
For others, the realisation that they have achieved some childhood or youthful dream, or ambition, which may, or may not, be represented by some outward physical form of success - such as being able to buy your own new car, or house.
Yet others find huge psychological satisfaction and fulfilment in their chosen professional career, often an area they had long dreamed of being able to work in.
And of course, the whole field of personal relationships, family, friends, and the fulfilment derived from these are also an area of life that some derive their identity and fulfilment from.
Huntn, you strike me as someone who has achieved what you dreamed of both professionally and personally, as someone who is grounded, and sane and at ease with yourself and your life choices. That is as good a definition as any I have read here about having 'made it'.
And reznick, you make an excellent point about seeking intellectual and philosophical fulfilment and enlightenment; family, friends, job satisfaction, material reward are not the only sources of fulfilment.
In any case, in order to be able to say that they 'have made it', I suspect that people must have reached a stage in life where they have become comfortable in their own skin, and at ease with themselves, because, otherwise, they will always be striving, for something unattainable.
My mother always said that she thought she had 'made it', when, following a promotion, income from her own job enabled her to buy her own car (not the family car) out of her own money (although she had always contributed finically to the 'family car').
As a professional woman, driving her own car - which she had bought herself from her own earned funds - was an enormous source of satisfaction to her. Around the same time, - we are discussing the 1980s - she also felt she had 'made it' because, we, her children had obtained university places, and enabling and supporting this had always been a goal of hers.
Exactly. Because without achieving the level of understanding that can only be brought upon by being enlightened, you're just putting off your mid life crises for another time.
I'm also very ambitious.
As of today, humans remain the most powerful tools on the planet. Humans are 33x smarter than the most advanced supercomputer on the planet: we are the #1 'tool' that exists on Earth. I find it surprising that not many people work on developing themselves as much as they develop their relationships, businesses, jobs, home, etc.
Everything in life manifests from you, whether its material objects or perception. And people are very plastic, in the sense that we can change and transform ourselves. So to me, it would be such a pity if I went through life without trying to improve myself as much as possible, and to be as high quality of a human being as possible.
Financially, it's when work is an option and not a necessity. When there is enough saved to support a decent lifestyle for the remainder of your life. No, it is not when you have a loan due on an expensive boat.
I like your thinking.
To my parents, "making it" was escaping a communist country.
While their neighbors bought expensive electronics "high tech" record players and "space age" 20-inch color TVs, my parents bought a small house and paid down the mortgage with their dual sweatshop salaries. Because they "already had it made" by escaping to the US, they had no desire to prove they made it by buying stuff they couldn't afford.
To one sibling, "making it" is a $30k/year salary, 2 kids, one 15 year old used car, family time instead of cable, and being able to save $50/month.
To the sibling, a 2-income household making $400k/year, expensive cars, high flying lifestyle, and all that good stuff is still not "making it".
As long as I don't take for granted the sacrifice my parents made for me to live free, I feel I had it made the day I was born.
No doubt money can make you comfortable, but many have proven it does not make you happy.
I read this thread and I’m struck by just how many people equate “making it" with money, and not happiness.
I look back at a life of 69 yrs and I’m happy with where I am, and the things that I have achieved, AND more importantly GOING to achieve.
There have been ups and downs on the road of life, but I remember what my grand father said to me many years ago “Never knowingly be unkind to another human being, and enjoy yourself in what you do”
I look back at a life of 69 yrs and I’m happy with where I am, and the things that I have achieved, AND more importantly GOING to achieve.
There have been ups and downs on the road of life, but I remember what my grand father said to me many years ago “Never knowingly be unkind to another human being, and enjoy yourself in what you do”
I read this thread and Im struck by just how many people equate making it" with money, and not happiness.
I look back at a life of 69 yrs and Im happy with where I am, and the things that I have achieved, AND more importantly GOING to achieve.
There have been ups and downs on the road of life, but I remember what my grand father said to me many years ago Never knowingly be unkind to another human being, and enjoy yourself in what you do
I agree with you, as that exact same thought struck me when I read the thread, and dropped in a few times as it was developing. For that reason, I held off replying until a few posters (mainly Huntn and reznick, along with a few others) posted more thoughtful responses.
Actually, I think this obsession with material success as an expression of (external, and internal) self-worth is very much a product of western, especially US society, and is probably more prevalent in some of the younger posters on these threads - although some venerable elders on these threads are not immune from the siren lure of the unfortunate equation the western world has become entranced by, which runs something along the lines of: "money=value=worth", either; perhaps each of these elements - location and demographic - reflect the composition & outlook of many who inhabit these fora.
In any case, I have worked in countries which would be regarded as even more challenging than the one MacLC (very good post, by the way) has come from, and where the definition of 'making it' means feeding, clothing and educating your family, sometimes in open defiance of those who may wish to kill you. Where individuals who used to have comfortable, secure, stable lives no longer have a roof over their heads, secure employment, where going to work daily can be a source of mortal threat, where education can be seen as a luxury, along with electricity, and where material goods (cars and so on) are nothing but a distant memory.
These conditions have happened in Europe within my life, as I have worked quite a bit in the Balkans since the Yugoslav war of the 1990s.
I suppose that it may be a matter of perspective; however, you lived through the post WW2 era, and that probably gave you a healthy appreciation of a great many things that people in more stable, and more wealthy societies, often tend to take for granted. I am an historian by profession, but, in addition, as I wished to see things for myself, I have worked in quite a number of countries which could at best be considered to be a bit unstable, and a few which could be described as downright dangerous. In such places, 'making it' has a very different meaning.
It seems easy to say that a certain number in your bank account is the threshold of when you realize you made it but as I related in an earlier post, mine was when I actually realized that I had reached a point that I felt secure. Quickly relaying what I said earlier is that when I made a decision to make an unplanned trip to Walt Disney World (one of my daughter's favorite places), it was really the first time I just decided to do it. Normally, I spreadsheet, try to find discounts, etc.
I had reached a point where I'm able to take the vacation without worrying about my career while I'm gone. My daughter, a straight A student, could miss a week without jeopardizing her grades. And yes, the money wasn't going to sink us. To me it is more than financial. I live a very frugal lifestyle for my income level but I do it because I worry about the financial future. I believe that financial worries are a major cause of stress in our lives.
I know this is getting long but I want to relate a story. My father's best man was a man named Ronnie who is married to Gloria. They lived parallel to us one block over when I was a kid. Every evening after a hard day of work in the upholstery shop, Ronnie would arrive home then he and Gloria would sit on the front porch swing and enjoy a Genesee Beer. This was their hour. No kids disturbed them during this time, no phone calls, no electronics. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they just swung. This was in the late 60's and early 70's.
My father passed in 2004. I returned to Akron and thought I would stop by. I hadn't seen them in decades, didn't know if they even lived there still. When I pulled up, there they were… Sitting on the front porch sipping their beer talking about their day.
They are older. Ronnie now owns that upholstery shop, their house is paid for, their children are grown. The cars in the driveway are a bit newer. He's comfortable and they have money in the bank but they are the same. Monday through Friday, from just after five until six, they'll be sitting on the porch sipping a beer and talking about their day.
They've made and don't need anyone to know it.
I had reached a point where I'm able to take the vacation without worrying about my career while I'm gone. My daughter, a straight A student, could miss a week without jeopardizing her grades. And yes, the money wasn't going to sink us. To me it is more than financial. I live a very frugal lifestyle for my income level but I do it because I worry about the financial future. I believe that financial worries are a major cause of stress in our lives.
I know this is getting long but I want to relate a story. My father's best man was a man named Ronnie who is married to Gloria. They lived parallel to us one block over when I was a kid. Every evening after a hard day of work in the upholstery shop, Ronnie would arrive home then he and Gloria would sit on the front porch swing and enjoy a Genesee Beer. This was their hour. No kids disturbed them during this time, no phone calls, no electronics. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they just swung. This was in the late 60's and early 70's.
My father passed in 2004. I returned to Akron and thought I would stop by. I hadn't seen them in decades, didn't know if they even lived there still. When I pulled up, there they were… Sitting on the front porch sipping their beer talking about their day.
They are older. Ronnie now owns that upholstery shop, their house is paid for, their children are grown. The cars in the driveway are a bit newer. He's comfortable and they have money in the bank but they are the same. Monday through Friday, from just after five until six, they'll be sitting on the porch sipping a beer and talking about their day.
They've made and don't need anyone to know it.
Thanks for the kind reference.
My impression is that some people think that as a standard of success, the gates of Heaven are gold with large $ signs on them as if this is how they will be judged.I have to admit that despite the good words I express, to some degree I determine my self worth by my success in my profession, where it is important to accomplish something, but the same can be said for altruistic endeavors and personal relationships. If I self judge, I'd say I come up short for the latter although I don't know how, I have managed to remain married for 34 years.
I guess I have mixed feelings about this. I feel successful in many ways, but not others.
I have a good job that I've been at for 10+ years now (in different positions). I've got my Bachelor's degree, a lot of experience now, I'm comfortable, make decent money, own my own place, and when I want something, I'm usually able to buy/get it. As far as socially, most people seem to take a liking to me in both my work and personal life.
But, I feel like the one missing piece is finding someone to share it all with. Maybe it's me, maybe it's where I live...I don't know. I've just had such a hard time finding someone who shares the same interests/views as me, and is looking for the same things in life (not too many women out there who are interested in a geeky, mostly introverted guy who isn't interested in having a house full of kids). I talk to and meet a number of women but, nothing ever seems to pan out.
I know this is touchy because there are plenty of people out there who are perfectly happy being single and don't need/want someone to "complete" them, and seriously (not being condescending here), good for them. But, I'll consider myself to have made it when I find my other half.
I have a good job that I've been at for 10+ years now (in different positions). I've got my Bachelor's degree, a lot of experience now, I'm comfortable, make decent money, own my own place, and when I want something, I'm usually able to buy/get it. As far as socially, most people seem to take a liking to me in both my work and personal life.
But, I feel like the one missing piece is finding someone to share it all with. Maybe it's me, maybe it's where I live...I don't know. I've just had such a hard time finding someone who shares the same interests/views as me, and is looking for the same things in life (not too many women out there who are interested in a geeky, mostly introverted guy who isn't interested in having a house full of kids). I talk to and meet a number of women but, nothing ever seems to pan out.
I know this is touchy because there are plenty of people out there who are perfectly happy being single and don't need/want someone to "complete" them, and seriously (not being condescending here), good for them. But, I'll consider myself to have made it when I find my other half.
The key is you want the right woman, not something forced which could end up worse than being alone. However it's one big dice roll.