Why... (do I always end up as a girl's friend)

Relationship advice threads are always a hoot to read. Based on the majority of the advice generally given, they also explain why most people are actually pretty bad at relationships. :D
 
You should be happy you're not cursed like I am. Every guy I fall for/show even the smallest interest in finds a boyfriend shortly thereafter. It's been five guys so far. :eek:

My life is like that Dane Cook movie, Good Luck Chuck.



:(
 
Hey, it's not all bad. I am only able to fall in love with girls who want to destroy me.

Or they might all be cynical bitches, but I try to not generalize.
 
TSE said:
Okay thanks I will remember that.

The only problem I have ever really had was with meeting up with girls that I know absolutely nothing about. Like, at the mall there are always attractive girls, but how do I approach them???
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I honestly am not a fan of the bar bar scene which is basically what you are describing. People you hook up with like that generally are not going to be in it for anything.

I personally prefer to get to know them a little to see if they are worth my time.
 
if she wants to be your friend she'll be your friend. obviously it's not meant to be - just wait and the right one will come around.

everyone gets the 'shes the one' feeling when you have a bad crush on a girl (whether you're best friends, or just met).
 
JNB said:
Relationship advice threads are always a hoot to read. Based on the majority of the advice generally given, they also explain why most people are actually pretty bad at relationships. :D
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I was just about to start one to ask whether or not to take back a guy who dumped me out of the blue. What do you think?
 
My boyfriend and I met because I was posting on a Star Wars fan club message-board (yep) when I was about 20, and I posted about a movie that had nothing to do with Star Wars. (Julie Taymor's Titus.) My now-BF was reading that message-board too, and apparently that was reason enough for him to message me on AIM.

Five years of occasional text conversations later, he finally asked me out, and luckily we lived in the same city, so we went on a date. It was very comfortable since we already kind of knew each other, though had only met in person once before, and almost 4 years later, we're living together. I'd say we have a pretty great relationship. It only took 4 years because he was too afraid to ask me before that. I would have gone out with him much sooner than that.

So don't underestimate the power of nerdiness to snag a significant other. It can be done! ;) Just have realistic expectations. I was kind of shy and so was he, so it worked for us. Your mileage may vary.

(For the record, I went on lots of dates before my current boyfriend, and only one other date had anything to do with the internet. But I didn't really click with anybody until my current guy.)
 
JNB said:
Relationship advice threads are always a hoot to read. Based on the majority of the advice generally given, they also explain why most people are actually pretty bad at relationships. :D
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So funny. My favorite are the systematic methods that try to apply a logical, programmed approach to the very illogical and unpredictable thing that is dating and romance.

Most of the systems encourage you to ignore women who only want to be your friend and aggressively chase tail with absolute confidence until you get some. Have fun with that. The best part is that guys who maintain a mixed group of friends and have a bunch of 'friends who happen to be female' are a mile ahead of the rest: they're not afraid to talk to girls. ;)
 
You should read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Might enlighten you a little bit on what you're doing wrong and what you could to do better.

jon
 
peapody said:
I was just about to start one to ask whether or not to take back a guy who dumped me out of the blue. What do you think?
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I'll offer you my opinion. Humans are *******s. Never trust them. He dumped you out of the blue, and assuming that's not because you were oblivious to a problem with the relationship, so he is biological waste filling up your social circle. He can sod off and you can do better. :)
 
DoFoT9 said:
this is why im SO glad the first girl i snagged was/is the one for me :p
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How did you do that?

I mean, apparantly I destroy even the people I like. How can anyone actually commit to something like that?

Some people might think it's cool to be with lots of girls, but I personally hate myself just a little bit more every time I fail in a relationship. -_-
 
Capt Crunch said:
You've been friendzoned!

When you meet a girl, the 2nd thing out of your mouth, after your name, is to ask the girl on a date. I'm not even kidding. Girls and women will make up their mind if they want to date you 2 seconds after you open your mouth.
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Are all men this stupid?
 
TSE said:
Any ideas on how to get out of the friendzone?
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It will take some work but it is possible.

First come out to her as gay. You're really going to have to convince her, this step is crucial that you make it seem very real and that you've been lying about your personality all this time. This means you're going to have to start dating guys, and lots of them. You're really going to have to make yourself seem very, very promiscuous.
Then You're going to have to go shopping with her a lot, and I mean a lot!
Cry when you see bugs and start working out excessively.
Do not eat burgers, eat salads and drink lots of water. You're going to have to suffer through an eating disorder; take your pick, bulimia or anorexia.

Once you've done all this (this will take about two years) you'll have to have a big break up with who ever your current boyfriend is. Then once you've done that be all sad and cry babyish, she'll try and comfort you, tell her boys are stupid, yadda yadda yadda. Tell her you're done with boys and that she's really the only person you've trusted and could be yourself around. Then go in for the kiss. If she doesn't put out after that she's really not worth it and you should give up and move on to the next girl.


Hopefully this works. I've been in stage 2 (date lots of boys and be really whorey) for about a year now...
 
Heilage said:
How did you do that?
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i have no idea.. it just sort of happened. i always knew that i

I mean, apparantly I destroy even the people I like. How can anyone actually commit to something like that?

Some people might think it's cool to be with lots of girls, but I personally hate myself just a little bit more every time I fail in a relationship. -_-
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love is an amazing thing, i dont have much experience with the whole getting laid every weekend thing, but i have experience with love and a mutual understanding with each other.. its a truely amazing feeling! it changes you.

once you find the right girl im sure you will be fine, you will see what im talking about.

just keep at it, dont try to hard, and just be yourself :)

aphan said:
Are all men this stupid?
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im afraid so.. materialistic arent they! (myself included i guess)

TuffLuffJimmy said:
It will take some work but it is possible.

.....
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hahaha wow!!! wil that actually work!?!?!?!
 
DoFoT9 said:
once you find the right girl im sure you will be fine, you will see what im talking about.
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Aha. The misconception that the right girl hasn't been around. At least twice I've dated girls who've been just about what you can call "the right one", and I've still pushed them away.

I think I'll just stick to the plan, being alone forever and becoming insultingly rich, so I can laugh at everyone else. :p


EDIT: Oh, and that "plan" that was suggested. I think the fun will end when she starts hooking you up with guys she knows. ;)
 
Heilage said:
Aha. The misconception that the right girl hasn't been around. At least twice I've dated girls who've been just about what you can call "the right one", and I've still pushed them away.

I think I'll just stick to the plan, being alone forever and becoming insultingly rich, so I can laugh at everyone else. :p


EDIT: Oh, and that "plan" that was suggested. I think the fun will end when she starts hooking you up with guys she knows. ;)
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thats a great plan! i have a friend who is like that. hates women (because of this experiences). funnily enough me and him get along great! (despite our complete differences in opinions).

yea my advice was kinda redundant.. if you want a long lasting relationship you are going to have to make the change. that change is - not being selfish! to grow up. do that and you will be ok.

TuffLuffJimmy said:
You really have to make a few sacrifices for this plan to work. :(

I'm not sure how much more my backside can take...
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oh the images hahahahahahahaha!!!! i just woke up!! thanks :\
 
DoFoT9 said:
yea my advice was kinda redundant.. if you want a long lasting relationship you are going to have to make the change. that change is - not being selfish! to grow up. do that and you will be ok.
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It's not about selfishness, but about self-preservation. One can only take a limited amount of hits.


I'm trying to change, though. But it's hard to change what has taken almost 21 years to shape. At least I'm trying. :)
 
Heilage said:
It's not about selfishness, but about self-preservation. One can only take a limited amount of hits.


I'm trying to change, though. But it's hard to change what has taken almost 21 years to shape. At least I'm trying. :)
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self preservation?? explain how you mean.

if your after good, quality relationships you need to change. being yourself is good and all, but pushing away the possible girl of your dreams because you dont like one little thing she makes you do isnt really worth it. a relationship is about change and understanding.

i guess that means its two way though too, so therefore it could be the girl that is making the mistakes - therefore she mightnt be the girl of your dreams.. therefore i was right about you not meeting the 'perfect' girl for you
;)
 
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