Yet Another Mom Problem

[mactastic]

Yeah and the question is what type of hell of a life did you have. If you where getting a college degree that would be pretty hard to deal with. If you lack a college degree then it is possible but you lack the degree.

I think it sad how people like you think because you had it so rough everyone should have it that way.

Plus people like you seem to think losers are people who still live on their parents dime. I am 24 and yes my parents still are paying for everything it not because I am a loser but because I am a full time student who gets his degree come this christmas.

My definention of loser is some one who not trying to better themselves. If some one still lives off there parents dime in there mid 20's but it lets say working towards (and making progress) to a degree they are fine. I living off my parents though the end of the year when I make a real pay check. I know just how much time school eats up for me how hard it would be to work any job enough hours ot live on. I hardly have enough time just to deal with my school work load much less having to work.

As long as you are playing by the rules your parents set down, I don't think it matters how old you are. As I'm sure you have discovered, it's not easy living by someone else's rules at that age. For those who can't handle some rules, or whose parents truly are overbearing, moving out is the only realistic solution that doesn't put you in the position of appearing to be an ungrateful charity case.

And hell yes I'd be pissed at my kid for oversleeping and missing an appointment. That's called training them for life. I can't call my boss and tell him I overslept. Well, I can, but there are reprecussions.

 

[skunk]

While I think the OP needs a swift kick in his ass, the post above should end this thread.

I agree, but you've just blown that possibility with your post.

 

[plumosa]

Yeah and the question is what type of hell of a life did you have. If you where getting a college degree that would be pretty hard to deal with. If you lack a college degree then it is possible but you lack the degree.

I think it sad how people like you think because you had it so rough everyone should have it that way.

Plus people like you seem to think losers are people who still live on their parents dime. I am 24 and yes my parents still are paying for everything it not because I am a loser but because I am a full time student who gets his degree come this christmas.

My definention of loser is some one who not trying to better themselves. If some one still lives off there parents dime in there mid 20's but it lets say working towards (and making progress) to a degree they are fine. I living off my parents though the end of the year when I make a real pay check. I know just how much time school eats up for me how hard it would be to work any job enough hours ot live on. I hardly have enough time just to deal with my school work load much less having to work.

You're making a huge mistake by trying to compare high school and college. In high school, which applies to the OP, I definitely had enough time to work a part time job. Now I am in college and I spend 32 hours a week in actual classes alone and probably another 40 in studio time. Trust me, I know that its not always possible to work during college---I sure as hell don't. But I happen to have a massive scholarship and grants so that the loans I take out to cover the rest of tuition gives me enough to live on, about 3500 a school year. Its not much, but it works for me.

So since we've gotten out of the way the fact that I don't think all people are losers that don't work while in school, lets get back to the OP.

He is having control issues with his mother. While I have a hunch his mom is probably in the right, I'm trying to give him a solution other than, "just deal with it" that is pretty responsible and could teach him life lessons about how hard it can be to make ends meet. I stand by my words that a high schooler has enough time to work, unless they are taking 5 AP classes and whatnot with the expectation that all the hard work in high school will get them a scholarship to college. But honestly, with the list of things that his mom has taken away from him, it doesn't seem like he's too busy with classes. He seems like he is too busy doing fun things instead of of showing up to class on time. A mother isn't going to take all those things away if this was a one time thing...

 

[Rapmastac1]

You don't have time, YOU DON'T HAVE TIME!!?? Come on man! I am a senior in high school and I work two jobs, 30 hours at one and 30 hours at the other. When you only get 4 hours of sleep then you will see that you have more time than you ever thought you could squeeze out of a day.

 

[4JNA]

wow. tough thread. lots of good advice, lots of bad advice. my turn.

from my perspective, things look different. i'm 40'ish, i went through a divorce, and now have kids.

to the OP, you have no idea what a crap load of stress, fear, hurt, and pain you mom is/was going through with a divorce. period. there are no words to describe her situation. there are also no words to help you understand the love for a child, and the crazy emotions that go along with that. you didn't show up with an instruction manual, and she is probably just doing what she saw when she was your age.

going on the assumption that she is at least mostly not mental, she is dealing with her own issues and is also trying to keep you headed the right direction from the sound of it. on a bad day, the punishment might be more, on a good day, less. the fact that she cares enough to worry about you doing the right thing indicates that she care about you.

work on doing the right thing, think 'attention to detail', and give your mom more respect/support. talk to her, don't negotiate. move out when you can.

best of luck.

 

[CalBoy]

I have a hunch that the reason behind the OP's mother confiscating his electronic goodies is because they are in some way interfering with his schoolwork, which makes his mother's actions totally valid. Also, dude - at 18 you are really old enough to get yourself out of bed on time. So buy yourself an alarm clock and get on the ball.

But holy crap, the amount of vitriol being slung around here is pretty surprising...come on guys, making statements like having "little respect for most high school students" (um, there are plenty of high school-age kids in the world who work damn hard) doesn't make you sound worldly and mature, it makes you sound bitter and twisted. How many people here WEREN'T selfish in some way when they were 18? If you weren't still living with your parents - and (don't get me wrong) kudos to those who were striking out on their own before then - and being "selfish" in that respect, then you were probably inadvertently treating your girlfriend like crap because you'd never been in a long-term relationship before, or slacking off at work because you were still struggling with your nascent career aspirations, or doing something else which was obnoxious and construed by your elders as "selfish." Contrary to what you might like to believe, none of you were perfect 18-year-olds. If, through some quixotic lapse in reality, you WERE...please, raise your hand, and I'll nominate you for sainthood.

The OP will probably sulk and moan for another year or so, then get kicked in the ass by the steel-capped boot of reality, get his act together, and eventually look back when he's 25 and realize what a dumbass he was when he was a teenager. We all go through it.

I love this post. It's really very true now that I look back on my 18 year-old self

OP, how can you not wake up in the morning? I hardly ever woke up excessively late, and I woke up at 6am everyday from 7th-12th grade.

Also, I hate to tell you this, but since you're still in high school, your mom still possess the ability to parent you. Part of parenting is taking away tempting items from children. And yes, you're still a child. None of us can claim to be an adult until we are self sufficient. That means having a job, paying your own rent, buying and cooking your own food, etc.

What I'd really like to know is your plan for the future. Do you have good grades? Is college in your future? If not, then be ready to join the working world, where people will take more than your laptop.

Like someone said above, get an alarm clock, do your work dilligently, become responsible, learn how to use your toys responsibly, and then see how things stand between you and your mother.

PS: No high school student needs an iPhone. I don't have one and I'm a pretty darn good "child" if you ask me!

 

[adroit]

I love this post. It's really very true now that I look back on my 18 year-old self

OP, how can you not wake up in the morning? I hardly ever woke up excessively late, and I woke up at 6am everyday from 7th-12th grade.

Also, I hate to tell you this, but since you're still in high school, your mom still possess the ability to parent you. Part of parenting is taking away tempting items from children. And yes, you're still a child. None of us can claim to be an adult until we are self sufficient. That means having a job, paying your own rent, buying and cooking your own food, etc.

What I'd really like to know is your plan for the future. Do you have good grades? Is college in your future? If not, then be ready to join the working world, where people will take more than your laptop.

Like someone said above, get an alarm clock, do your work dilligently, become responsible, learn how to use your toys responsibly, and then see how things stand between you and your mother.

PS: No high school student needs an iPhone. I don't have one and I'm a pretty darn good "child" if you ask me!

Very true.

I've been wondering what the OP is planning on doing with his life too since he is already in the last year of highschool. From his previous posts/threads it doesn't seem like his grades are good enough to go to a good college and he doesn't seem responsible enough to take care of his own life (note not being able to wake up on time or know what homework he need to do until the last minute).

Ghall: I honestly feel that you have no excuse to not remember what your homework are or able to wake up on time, especially at age of 18. I think you better get your act together fast or the reality might catch up to you soon.

 

[CalBoy]

Very true.

I've been wondering what the OP is planning on doing with his life too since he is already in the last year of highschool. From his previous posts/threads it doesn't seem like his grades are good enough to go to a good college and he doesn't seem responsible enough to take care of his own life (note not being able to wake up on time or know what homework he need to do until the last minute).

I hope the OP does get his act together. Even if he doesn't have the grades to go to a four year college right away, he might find a junior college a good place to start (followed by a transfer after a few years). This can be very beneficial for those students, like our OP, who need help in being responsible and organized.

 

[ghall]

Wirelessly posted (iPhone: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU like Mac OS X; en) AppleWebKit/420.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.0 Mobile/3B48b Safari/419.3)

I know I am a bit spoiled, it's no secret but I don't think I let it get to my head. I feel very lucky for what I have so please don't think I'm some spoiled little brat. Anyone you ask who knows me will say that I'm a nice, polite young man. So please don't judge me if you don't know me.

To let you know I've been a very good student in high school. I don't mean to brag, but I got the second highest ACT score in my school, not that a stupid test score means anything, but to some people it does.

Anyway as for what I'll be doing next year, I'm having a meeting with my school college specialist to figure what would be best for me.

I know I probably came off as an ungreatful jerk earlier. I tend to blow things out if proportion when I'm angry. I think I get it from my mom.

What I'm trying to say is, while you are obviouly entitled to your opinion, please don't be so judgemental of someone that you only know through an Internet forum.

 

[synth3tik]

Wirelessly posted (iPhone: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU like Mac OS X; en) AppleWebKit/420.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.0 Mobile/3B48b Safari/419.3)

Looks like you got your iPhone back....

 

[Iscariot]

My mom ran me over.

Twice.

Seriously.

 

[ghall]

Wirelessly posted (iPhone: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU like Mac OS X; en) AppleWebKit/420.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.0 Mobile/3B48b Safari/419.3)

Wirelessly posted (iPhone: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU like Mac OS X; en) AppleWebKit/420.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.0 Mobile/3B48b Safari/419.3)

Looks like you got your iPhone back....

I never didn't have my iPhone. My mom just had the Edge and extra text messages shut off. I'm running off my home wifi network. <-- the work of a desperate man

 

[quagmire]

The only real issue here, IMHO is the mom taking his stuff that he paid for with his own money. I would be pissed if my parents took away my iPhone since I was the one who worked 80 hours to earn the $628 for it. Now if they cancel the plan that is another issue since they are paying for it. If they took away anything that I paid for out of my personal pocket, I would be mad. Now if she took away things she paid for, understandable. I don't see how he is spoiled because he is complaining that his mom practically stole the things he paid for.

 

[CRAZYBUBBA]

But she doesn't own my non-essentials, and that's the problem.

I've tried being civil with her, but I can't do it anymore. She's being too unreasonable.

I feel ya, i'm in the same situation divorced mom, unreasonable lives her life vicariously via my achievements bla bla bla.. hang in there work hard, and soon enough everything will clear it's self up. Be sure to stick up for yourself only when it's useful.. why create more conflict?

 

[CalBoy]

I know I am a bit spoiled, it's no secret but I don't think I let it get to my head. I feel very lucky for what I have so please don't think I'm some spoiled little brat. Anyone you ask who knows me will say that I'm a nice, polite young man. So please don't judge me if you don't know me.

Well we're trying to figure out why this polite young man can't wake up on time to go to school, and can't reason with his mom in a polite way. Unless you're inferring that your mom is indeed evil (and how could she be if she allows you to have so many toys?), then I think the argument went down like this:

Mom: Do your homework
You: Ok, later
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
You: I'll get to it
Mom:It's 1 am, why are you still up?
You: I'm doing my homework
Next morning***
Mom: WAKE UP!!! YOU ARE 45 minutes late for school!!!!
You: I know, I was up all night doing my homework.

At this point, if I was your mom, I too would be tempted to remove your toys. It isn't a matter of politeness, it's a matter of being able to prioritize, which is fully unrelated to being polite.

To let you know I've been a very good student in high school. I don't mean to brag, but I got the second highest ACT score in my school, not that a stupid test score means anything, but to some people it does.

The test merely says that you have the intellectual capabilities to be a successful person; grades prove how much you've done with such abilities. I don't think anyone of us claimed that you were dumb. We were all wondering why you weren't more responsible (from what we could tell from your OP and subsequent posts).

Anyway as for what I'll be doing next year, I'm having a meeting with my school college specialist to figure what would be best for me.

Good. I hope we hear some good news.

I know I probably came off as an ungreatful jerk earlier. I tend to blow things out if proportion when I'm angry. I think I get it from my mom.

That's ok, we understand what it's like to be 18

What I'm trying to say is, while you are obviouly entitled to your opinion, please don't be so judgemental of someone that you only know through an Internet forum.

I believe having an opinion requires a certain amount of judgement, so I'll have to disagree on this count. I only judged with what you gave us, and I'm guessing (judging too) that you are a smart young lad, who has obviously worked hard in the past to earn his toys, but has not been responsible as of late. Maybe it's time to stop being mad at your mom for trying to be your mother, and be mad at yourself for being irresponsible.

Keep us posted about the counselor

 

[Jasonbot]

Right when she got back, the first thing you asked her was if she brought you back something? Wow.

"Hey Mom, great to see you back. By the way, did you pick me up that ..."

I just can't understand why someone would be annoyed with such a transparent lack of caring.

I didn't ask her that. I don't recall what it was that I asked her but i was something else- not that. And she blasted me for it. Please don't assume stuff about me.

 

[ghall]

Well the good news is I have one less thing to be pissesed at my mom about. It turns out that the iPhone thing was unrelated. It turns out that my mom wanted it shut off for monetary reasons. Oh well that's $20 less I'll be spending a month. At least I still have the cell service.

The bad news is I still don't have my stuff back.

By the way I'm still using my iPhone but the mobile forums are acting strange.

 

[eric55lv]

same with me just with my dad just i dont live with my mom or dad