I'd be very interested to hear how your appointment goes. If you can let us know, that would be great!
So, I had my appointment.
The TL;DR version is: Their opinion is that this is normal. The 2015 MBPrs have different internal configurations from previous generations, even down to different sets of diagnostics. Despite everything coconutBattery and iStat said, their tests show everything to be normal.
The longer version: The Genius reviewed the call notes, and initially said the same thing: No kernel panics, no crashes, no abnormal shutdowns pretty much indicates nothing's actually wrong. He plugged it into their network do their usual testing... only to discover the diagnostics they're used to running wouldn't boot up. After lots of reboots and buttons mashing, and turning off FileVault (which I wasn't too happy about, there's research data on this laptop and it's encrypted for a reason), he ultimately decided to take it into the back and try to remove the cover to see if the fans were actually moving.
Before that though, another, more knowledgeable Genius stopped him and showed him the new set of diagnostics that 2015 MBPrs (and presumably 2015 MBAs and the new MacBook) require. Different boot sequence, nothing needs to be plugged in, and they can now get real time diagnostic data on their iPads.
Among other things: the diagnostics test the fan... and test how quickly the fan goes from 0 RPM to maximum. The fan has to be able to do this in a very short span of time or the test fails. Mine passed. The battery, SSD, RAM and all other components passed with flying colors, too. The second genius, watching over the results with the first genius, remarked "Yup, looks exactly like a brand new computer."
As for whether a fan at 0rpm is normal: they didn't know for sure. But they decided that it either
is normal, or iStat is giving false data. They were pretty sure that if the fan had a hardware issue, the diagnostics would've caught it.
The "rapid ramp up" test kinda hints to me that maybe this IS normal, and it's an expected use-case that the fans start at 0 or very low speed and rapidly kick in to a high level when the hardware thinks it's needed.
In any case, swapping out hardware is pretty much a non-solution at this point. If it IS a problem, it's software. Though again, the lack of any actual failure or problems, tells me it's probably not a problem.