Well I should start with a bit of background. I'm 21 year old guy, look quite good, work out a lot, have great friends and a good job. However I have never been in a realationship or even a date.
During school I didn't really feel like I wanted to have a girlfriend so didnt really do anything about it. In the past two years things have changed. I really want someone. I'm not looking for a ****** buddy. I want a realationship with someone I can care for and that will care for me. Over the past two years, I had 3 oppertutines that I gunned down because the girls in question were far from my type.
One of the main problems is that I'm not in the party scene. It seems most of my friends met their girlfriends at parties. Also I don't use Facebook.
I do many activities and go out to restaurants, movies and sports with friends at every opportunity but I didn't meet anyone.
At my current job there is a girl I am crazy over. She is exactly my type. No, in fact she is even better than that. We share an office at work. We arrived at the same time, about a year ago. I instantly fell for her. She was single at the time and she likes me (both then and now). Unfortunatly I didn't make a move and 3 months later she met someone and has been with him in a good realationship since. About 8 months. In 5 weeks time my contract is up and I will be moving to a different company. I now she likes me. I really don't know if I should say something . I fear that over time we won't keep in touch and this might be my last chance. Should I tell her something or keep my feelings for myself and try to find someonelse? She is absolute perfection. I would do anything for her.
I honestly think I shouldn't say anything. She seems to be happy and it would probably get awkward. There are many smart people on this site and I would enjoy reading your opinions.
If you think it is best to leave her alone, what can and should I do to try and meet a quality girl?
Despite never having a girlfriend, sex is the last thig I'm looking for. All I want is someone I can love and a proper realationship.
Thanks in advance to everyone who read my post and took the time to comment.
I was in a similar situation. I hadn't had a girlfriend, though I had dated a few girls I was interested in. I think the problem was that those girls never saw what I would have been like in a relationship. My best advice: find a way to show her.
Go out for coffee/food, but don't pay unless you think she expects it. If it doesn't feel like a date, she is more likely to continue spending time with you. That said, if she spends any time with you privately, even at work, you probably have a better chance than you think. She does that with the risk of causing problems in her current relationship.
Don't tell her how you feel yet, though you can suggest you consider her a friend and you'll miss her when you're done your contract. You need that friendship before you can have any real relationship anyway. If there is a question about how you feel, she'll think about you more, which is what you need.
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Two more things:
1. Be yourself. If she doesn't like the real you, you don't have a chance in the long term anyway. If she thinks you're hiding something, she won't trust you.
2. Realize that you don't know whether she's the one for you. Even if you end up in a relationship with her, it takes time to figure that out. If a girl thinks you care for her more than she cares for you, she'll say "no" immediately because she thinks anything else would be leading you on. Realizing you don't know might also remove some stress for the situation.
There were a few girls I was crazy about when I was your age that I still spend time with now. They're great friends, but they don't compare to my wife.
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PS: I agree about not being "that guy", though maybe not in the same way as the other poster. Don't go past friendship while she's with her boyfriend. If she likes you, she may break things off with him. If he's good to/for her, she'll let you know she doesn't want to jeopardize the relationship by spending time with you. Worst case scenario, you can always tell her you like her, that you want to try, that you respect that she's in a relationship, but that you want her to know how you feel just in case she feels the same way.
