21 and still confused about sexual orientation

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by emt1, Jun 18, 2009.

  1. emt1 macrumors 65816

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    Wisconsin
    #1
    Yup. You read the title. I'm a guy. Any tips/advice? I really don't think I'll be able to "hook up" with anyone anytime soon... so please don't suggest that
     
  2. LVdustin macrumors regular

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    #2
    When you look at porn...who do you look at the most? Guys or Girls?
     
  3. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    Joined:
    May 19, 2002
    #3
    Personally confused?

    Or failed the sex ed class confused?
     
  4. emt1 thread starter macrumors 65816

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    #4
    80% guys and 20% girls. Butttt I would never want to do anything buttsex related with anyone.

    6 months ago I came out of a 2 year relationship with a girl. That was my only serious relationship.

    Both ;)
     
  5. LVdustin macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2007
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    Las Vegas, NV
    #5
    Then you are psychically attracted to males, just not sexually attracted to them. You are 21 years old, this is the time where you need to go out and set the path for what you need out of another individual.
     
  6. emt1 thread starter macrumors 65816

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    #6
    gahh... if only I wasn't such a huge loser!
     
  7. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #7
    ill try and help out. who do you find more attractive

    [​IMG] or
    [​IMG]

    yes i am biased lol
     
  8. emt1 thread starter macrumors 65816

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    #8
    That's a tough one :eek:
     
  9. GimmeSlack12 macrumors 603

    GimmeSlack12

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    Apr 29, 2005
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    San Francisco
    #9
    Aside from sexuality this sounds like a Self-Esteem issue. Got to get yourself involved in something and make you happy about you. Then you'll be confident in enjoying someone else, whether boy or girl.
     
  10. emt1 thread starter macrumors 65816

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    Wisconsin
    #10
    No no, I'm really not that bad. I like to make fun of myself but I really don't have huge self-esteem issues. Just a tad shy when it comes to approaching someone I'm interested in. Otherwise I'm not shy at all..
     
  11. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #11
    dude i alays get shy around the girls im interested in because i dont want to come off bad.....even though being shy may make me come off bad lol

    its easy to talk to people you dont want to see naked lol
     
  12. LVdustin macrumors regular

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    Jan 14, 2007
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    #12
    The best way to meet people is to hang out with friends and open up and be yourself and just be crazy when you meet someone you don't know and you're interested in. It's the best way, I understand you got out of a 2+ year relationship, and you think that you might be rusty at your techniques of grabbing guy/girl, but seriously, just go for it dude. And trust me, don't want it, don't force yourself, just let it happen, if it was meant to be it was meant to be, just be patient.
     
  13. emt1 thread starter macrumors 65816

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    #13
    I am the same way about girls. I get along great with them until I'm interested...

    I get along fine with guys even if I am interested, because I always assume they are straight (they usually are) and I have absolutely no chance at all.
     
  14. anjinha macrumors 604

    anjinha

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    #14
    Until recently I was in the same situation as you are now. I wouldn't worry, you don't have to define yourself right now. Just go on with life and do what feels right.

    I think one of the things that leads to confusion about one's sexuality is the need to have labels: gay, straight, bi... Those labels are very limiting, since it has been shown that most people aren't 100% straight or 100% gay.
     
  15. iGary Guest

    iGary

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    #15
    You don't have to want to participate in anal sex to be gay.
     
  16. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    Chicago, Illinois
    #16
    You're going to have to go out and meet people. It also sounds like you may be bisexual.
     
  17. abijnk macrumors 68040

    abijnk

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    Los Angeles, CA
    #17
    As somebody else suggested, don't get hung up on labels. Just worry about being comfortable in your own skin and accepting that you still have a lot to learn about yourself. You're still really young, you've got plenty of time to work it out.
     
  18. Dagless macrumors Core

    Dagless

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    #18
    Meh, I didn't want any sexual stuff at all until I was 16... That messes you up a bit ;). But eventually it hit and everything feels right. I'd just ride it out. Explore both sides and see where you end up down the line.
     
  19. kainjow Moderator emeritus

    kainjow

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    Jun 15, 2000
    #19
    :eek: Innuendo galore ;)
     
  20. JNB macrumors 604

    JNB

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    #20
    I'll chime in with the others and suggest not worrying about "orientation." It's not like you have to register for one party or another, it's something that you'll find a "comfort zone" with others, usually more in one direction than the other, but not always. There is certainly nothing wrong with you.

    Remember too, that same-sex experimentation is way more common than anyone (or at least confirmed heteros) will admit. Just because you end up wanting to try an encounter with another guy doesn't mean you're gay, or even bi, it just means you're curious.

    You may find a natural affinity for one gender or the other, and it may come to you soon, or it may take years. The thing to remember is you are your own person, and free to find out what's right for you in your own way and time.

    Just do it safely, please.
     
  21. n-abounds macrumors 6502a

    n-abounds

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    #21
    Well have you tried both? Or you just think you are attracted to dudes?
     
  22. coyote23 macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2009
    #22
    The best advice I can give is to be who you are, at the time you are being it & enjoy the f*ck out of being that person....whether awkward or not, smooth or not, cool or not. The people you should really be spending time around/with will like you for who you are now. Not who you could or should be.

    when I was 18-21-ish...I was confused about my sexual orientation. Then, finally, I just went ahead & slept with a guy (I also had a girlfriend) & liked it a lot. Over time, I figured that I'm bisexual - with a stronger bi-as towards cute girls...the type who happen to love both my masculine & feminine attributes. I could never really feel the sort of love for a man that I feel for women, but men are certainly fun to sleep with ;)
     
  23. Tomorrow macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

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    #23
    I imagine this advice also applies if you're gay or bisexual:

    Try not to think too hard about it. It's been my experience that I'm more relaxed and comfortable (and more "myself") when I'm not trying too hard to impress, or overthinking a situation.

    Let things happen, and you'll be fine. No need to rush or force anything.

    As for whether you're gay, straight, bisexual, or whatever - same thing applies. Don't worry too much about it. When something feels right, you'll know it; you'll also know if it doesn't. Just let it play out and "ride the wave," so to speak. You'll probably be much happier along the way, as well.

    I wish you the best - it sounds like this is certainly a trying time for you.
     
  24. ayeying macrumors 601

    ayeying

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  25. ZiggyPastorius macrumors 68040

    ZiggyPastorius

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    #25
    ?!?!?! What good is life without anal sex???
     

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