Just put 8gb of ram in my late '08 2.53ghz macbook pro and it is working great . I am running snow leopard and I am booting in 64bit kernel mode, have not tried 32bit kernel mode. No crashing after 10min or so as other reported, and system is seeing all 8gb of ram.
Try running Parallels or VMWare or some other program that uses 4GB (A single program that use 4GB or more).
Our results were that you can boot and run it but once it hits 4GB, it crashes. We never said it crashes after a xxx amount of time. We said it crashes after 4GB is utilized.