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[0098386]

I dunno. It might not be over. Me and my girlfriend have had arguments and moments where we both act weird to each other... But everything turns out okay. We had a similar situation to you both actually.
My girlfriend just finished university. We spent 5 years in a long distance relationship and just as her time there was coming to an end - a whole load of her male friends confessed their undying love for her. She "acted weird" for a bit and had to think if we would work in the coming years (moving in together etc). We had a long serious talk about it months ago and like I said everything turned out right.

She might just be evaluating her life at the moment. Coming out of uni and entering the big bad world is a big step, especially if you're in a relationship with someone. But then again it might be something totally different. But whatever 'appens you'll be alright me laddo.

 

[Unspoken Demise]

I dunno. It might not be over. Me and my girlfriend have had arguments and moments where we both act weird to each other... But everything turns out okay. We had a similar situation to you both actually.
My girlfriend just finished university. We spent 5 years in a long distance relationship and just as her time there was coming to an end - a whole load of her male friends confessed their undying love for her. She "acted weird" for a bit and had to think if we would work in the coming years (moving in together etc). We had a long serious talk about it months ago and like I said everything turned out right.

She might just be evaluating her life at the moment. Coming out of uni and entering the big bad world is a big step, especially if you're in a relationship with someone. But then again it might be something totally different. But whatever 'appens you'll be alright me laddo.

Lets just hope she doesnt re-evaluate it with him not in the picture.
You're absolutely right though.

 

[nuckinfutz]

lots of things could be happening. The best thing to do right now is back off a bit and give her some space.

It's time for a boys night out. Call your buddies and go do something without her. If she wants to do homework versus hang out with you that's her thing but you don't have to be a hermit.

Women don't like doormats. Don't be at her beck and call. She'll talk when she's ready.

 

[Nobita]

.

 

[Unspoken Demise]

@OP.
Really? Texting? If this relationship means as much as you say it does to you, dont you think texting is kind of a cop out?
I understand your situation, but texting IMHO comes across as "I have the time to talk, seeing as I have the time to type, but I dont really want to hear your voice."

Honestly, best of luck. Hope it all works out.

 

[Iscariot]

"okay i've said some bad things, so what? you've also said bad things to me and i move along. i also had times where i had so much work but i still care about you and text you and call you and have dinner with you"

If you've said "bad things" you don't deserve her. If she's said "bad things," you shouldn't tolerate it. I don't understand why people believe it's acceptable to say unbecoming things of each other in a relationship, yet would never dream of saying those sorts of things to their best friends. Unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable.

 

[TJRiver]

Dude, you are looking for relationship advice in HERE????????

Best of Luck

 

[uberamd]

If you've said "bad things" you don't deserve her. If she's said "bad things," you shouldn't tolerate it. I don't understand why people believe it's acceptable to say unbecoming things of each other in a relationship, yet would never dream of saying those sorts of things to their best friends. Unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable.

Because humans are, humans. They make mistakes. If everyone split after they said something bad to another person, nobody would be married and nobody would have any friends.

 

[Rodimus Prime]

If you've said "bad things" you don't deserve her. If she's said "bad things," you shouldn't tolerate it. I don't understand why people believe it's acceptable to say unbecoming things of each other in a relationship, yet would never dream of saying those sorts of things to their best friends. Unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable.

umm I will go with the fact that then you do not have some of the closes friendships in the world. Of my best friends I have said some pretty harsh things as they have to me as well.

Yes we all felt bad about it afterwards but it is because as people grow closer together certain barriers and filters start coming down. People are more willing to say what is on their mines. The best friendships I have ever had have been with people I have had shouting matches with. Yes it was unacceptable behavior but the point is it made the friendship stronger. With my GF I have said some pretty harsh things to her as she has with me. Lets not forget we have had a few shouting matches as well. Reason be is we are very close and we know what buttons to push if we are pissed off.

 

[dmr727]

Look man, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is a bad sign. I'd start making an effort to move on.

 

[techfreak85]

have a heart to heart with here. there might be something wrong other then another man type of thing. something else like a friends health. if so she needs u more as support etc.

 

[roeiboot]

rule#1 don't try to understand wimmin...
rule#2 no more rules needed

 

[Swiss Apple]

Give her space and stop bombarding her with electronic messages, if anything you are smothering her. I hate to say this, but in this type of situation the best way forward is to act like you really couldn't give a s***, 'Treat em mean, keep em keen' is my motto.

 

[Unspoken Demise]

Give her space and stop bombarding her with electronic messages, if anything you are smothering her. I hate to say this, but in this type of situation the best way forward is to act like you really couldn't give a s***, 'Treat em mean, keep em keen' is my motto.

Your motto is really the epitome of male chauvinism.

 

[nuckinfutz]

Your motto is really the epitome of male chauvinism.

But it works. We can all scream about male chauvinism but if nerds and "nice guys" were all the rage they would beating ladies off with sticks.

We all know they don't. Never be afraid to let a woman go no matter how much you love her.

We men can find ourselves giving up too much for our women. It's ok to hang with the fellas.

Women on the whole don't like doormats or guys that no one else wants.

 

[Unspoken Demise]

But it works. We can all scream about male chauvinism but if nerds and "nice guys" were all the rage they would beating ladies off with sticks.

True, but false. Nice guys and nerds can get the woman if they treat her nice and have self confidence. Girls like as****s, women do not.

We all know they don't. Never be afraid to let a woman go no matter how much you love her.

Couldnt disagree with you more. If you love something, fight for it.

We men can find ourselves giving up too much for our women. It's ok to hang with the fellas.

Of course it is, but you have to balance it, much like everything in life.

Women on the whole don't like doormats or guys that no one else wants.

True, but they also dont want to be treated like a doormat.

 

[nuckinfutz]

True, but they also dont want to be treated like a doormat.

Many do. Easy recipe for dating a lot and "crushing the pu55y"

1. Maximise your appearance. Women don't like slobs
2. Be charming and humorous (but try not to become the comedian)
3. Be agressive when face to face but aloof when she's no longer around.
4. Be confident. Women fish for easy compliments...don't give'em up easy.

Dating is all about gaining high ground or the upper hand. Men have an advantage in that we haven't had to hide ourselves behind a sea of fake ****. We don't put wigs or extension in our hair, we don't wear ridiculous shoes trying to be taller than we really are, we don't smear paste on our faces and color our faces to make ourselves look better than we really are.

We are generally as authentic as they come.

I'm not saying you treat a nice girl like a doormat but if a chick doesn't return my phone calls or text I move on or if we've been dating I give more time to other folks in my life.

 

[Unspoken Demise]

Many do. Easy recipe for dating a lot and "crushing the pu55y"

1. Maximise your appearance. Women don't like slobs
2. Be charming and humorous (but try not to become the comedian)
3. Be agressive when face to face but aloof when she's no longer around.
4. Be confident. Women fish for easy compliments...don't give'em up easy.

Dating is all about gaining high ground or the upper hand. Men have an advantage in that we haven't had to hide ourselves behind a sea of fake ****. We don't put wigs or extension in our hair, we don't wear ridiculous shoes trying to be taller than we really are, we don't smear paste on our faces and color our faces to make ourselves look better than we really are.

We are generally as authentic as they come.

I'm not saying you treat a nice girl like a doormat but if a chick doesn't return my phone calls or text I move on or if we've been dating I give more time to other folks in my life.

Hmm. I guess Im thinking from a long-term commitment perspective. Not to concerned with the crass term "crushing the p***y."

 

[Raid]

Dating is all about gaining high ground or the upper hand.

Perhaps if you're not that emotionally involved with the person, but love is all about appreciating the one you are with and a genuine desire to see them happy and fulfilled. I think the OP has hinted here that he's more than just casually dating this one.

 

[nuckinfutz]

Hmm. I guess Im thinking from a long-term commitment perspective. Not to concerned with the crass term "crushing the p***y."

Long term relationship are good but you need a woman who will walk through fire to be with you. Her time is precious and if she's giving it to you in good amounts that means she's interested and the same goes for the man.

Perhaps if you're not that emotionally involved with the person, but love is all about appreciating the one you are with and a genuine desire to see them happy and fulfilled. I think the OP has hinted here that he's more than just casually dating this one.

Yup and a woman that doesn't return phone calls or texts and would rather sit and do homework ain't in love. The OP can't be afraid to let her go. College life is about developing deeper relationships but that chick you hung with in college isn't necessarily the woman you need to be putting a ring on. Remember the ring goes on her finger and her ring goes through your nose.

 

[ntrigue]

Several posts correctly identified that she is delaying until she is able to better handle the break-up. I'm behind them, it appears to be over.

This girl is being incredibly selfish and tormenting your mind. No more lovey-dovey (I'm your b*tch) texts; dump her! I had several girlfriends that I thought were the end-all, the one, final destination. I was wrong everytime and always found someone better.

My fiance and I always talked about things that bothered us within hours. She has thanked me a hundred times over for resolving conflict with conversation rather than letting it fester and grow. This is one component of a successful relationship and your girl and yourself do not possess it.

I'm sorry. Woman often think it doesn't wreck a man when they leave him, it certainly does. Take time to organize your life. Get your fitness in check. In 2-3 months talk to every woman you find attractive, just open conversation, you'll know the right one when you find her.

 

[nuckinfutz]

I had several girlfriends that I thought were the end-all, the one, final destination. I was wrong everytime and always found someone better.

Good advice man. It ain't hard to beat neglect with regards to a relationship.

 

[mscriv]

Your girl is done with you. Eventually she'll break up with you but in order to do that she needs to find the time to do it. Sure, you think it's a quick process, but if you're here getting all emotional about it then chances are she knows you're going to consume her with all of your pain after she does dump you. The time it takes for a woman to dump a guy who is over emotional can be rough. She has little time right now so breaking up with you is basically on her to-do list for when stuff settles down.

I bet her hopes are if she treats you like dirt you'll just dump her. That is easier and that is what many men and women do.

Best of luck to you, really. It certainly sounds like she's just going to treat you like ass until you dump or or until she has the time to deal with the backlash of emotions you probably emit after she says goodbye.

Can we please, please, please start an "Ask Jessica" advice thread like "Dear Abby"? That would be so sweet!!! Total entertainment mixed with real truth. I love it.

she also said that she needs some space, so here you go! she needs space. ....

Yep. Cue the funeral dirge music. Jessica called it. More proof that we need a regular column.

 

[uberamd]

Can we please, please, please start an "Ask Jessica" advice thread like "Dear Abby"? That would be so sweet!!! Total entertainment mixed with real truth. I love it.

 

[InvalidUserID]

Many do. Easy recipe for dating a lot and "crushing the pu55y"

1. Maximise your appearance. Women don't like slobs
2. Be charming and humorous (but try not to become the comedian)
3. Be agressive when face to face but aloof when she's no longer around.
4. Be confident. Women fish for easy compliments...don't give'em up easy.

Dating is all about gaining high ground or the upper hand. Men have an advantage in that we haven't had to hide ourselves behind a sea of fake ****. We don't put wigs or extension in our hair, we don't wear ridiculous shoes trying to be taller than we really are, we don't smear paste on our faces and color our faces to make ourselves look better than we really are.

We are generally as authentic as they come.

I'm not saying you treat a nice girl like a doormat but if a chick doesn't return my phone calls or text I move on or if we've been dating I give more time to other folks in my life.

As much as I find the term "crushing the pu55y" offensive, you are pretty spot on with your four points. Those are good tips for the first date or early stages of the relationship.

Your point about nice guys and nerds needs some elaboration, from a woman's point of view. I think what nice guys and nerds lack are the traits that you listed, mostly being confident, charming and aggressive (to a point). I've met guys from both ends of the spectrum: really nice guys with a lot to offer, perspective and goals yet lack the initial "push" and guys that say all the right things, are very interesting initially and know what to do yet are shallow and jerks.

One method will only get you in but only so far without personality and substance while the other will leave you waiting to get "in".

To the OP, good luck. She clearly has stuff in her head that she needs to clear and if she basically shut it down without some real dialogue, it doesn't look good. Communication, communication, communication! If she leaves you, it isn't the end of the world. You're young and there are plenty of single women out there.

EDIT: Oh and I 100% agree that women generally do not like having guys all over them 24/7. The puppy dog thing is blah. And the women that enjoy that type of thing, I doubt you want these types of women.