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OT:

Folks that hate the "crushing the p****y"

do not be offended. It's not mine. I watched Ben and Jerry Stiller in the remake of "The Heartbreak Kid" done by the Farrelly Bros and these guys set the standard for crassness. The first time Jerry asks Ben (his son in the movie) "did you crush the p***y?" I turned to my gf and said "did he say what I think he just said?". So I understand your reactions.

back on topic.

InvalidUserID:

Thank you for for bringing the knowlege from the other end of the spectrum. Relationships fade over time and many don't make it. I agree about giving her space.

The relationship tug of war is a tough one. Just yesterday I put a new picture up on facebook and some old female friends gave me some nice compliments. My gf brought it up and said it was inappropriate. I held my ground. People are free to articulate what they like or don't like about you with impunity.

I think the thing to remember is "if you like that man or woman and saw something special, others will like them as well"

As for the OP his woman may not see the special attributes he has anymore. Hopefully it's temporary but he'd better plan for the worse and hope for the best.
 
@OP:

Stop text messing her. Send her maybe one message saying something like "i love you and you know it and i want to solve this out cause i don't want to see you like this. When you feel ok to talk to me,please call me to set place/time etc to talk". And leave her alone. At the meantime be prepared for everything. And by everything i mean real everything.:p

When you get together, talk to her with honesty, she will appreciate that. Show her that you love her but don't forget to give her space.

I don't think anyone from here can guess what's she's planning to do (no offense). I have a good feeling about this (no reason, i just do :p ).

Oh something else. When you get together and talk, try not to be too much emotional and not too much harsh. Something in between. Be a man. ;)

Good luck! :D
 
nuckinfutz said:
Many do. Easy recipe for dating a lot and "crushing the pu55y"

1. Maximise your appearance. Women don't like slobs
2. Be charming and humorous (but try not to become the comedian)
3. Be agressive when face to face but aloof when she's no longer around.
4. Be confident. Women fish for easy compliments...don't give'em up easy.

Dating is all about gaining high ground or the upper hand. Men have an advantage in that we haven't had to hide ourselves behind a sea of fake ****. We don't put wigs or extension in our hair, we don't wear ridiculous shoes trying to be taller than we really are, we don't smear paste on our faces and color our faces to make ourselves look better than we really are.

We are generally as authentic as they come.

I'm not saying you treat a nice girl like a doormat but if a chick doesn't return my phone calls or text I move on or if we've been dating I give more time to other folks in my life.
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Hope you like being lonely in your old age. Your "strategies" may be successful in the short term with a certain type - but I can't see you building a long term relationship with a women that way.
 
SilentPanda said:
She didn't head off to Europe did she? Good luck though... relationships can be a tricky thing. If things don't work out I'm sure in a few years when you meet the next one you'll be wondering how you ever dealt with this one.
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unbelievable video, i cant believe she didnt listen that much, and her last email is asking a lot, saying don't read any of my previous emails!
 
Nobita said:
I hope she's not trying to end the relationship, she once said to me "even if one day i hurt you, please love me again" and that was so sweet.
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This right here is red flag #1, it's accompanied by giant sparklers and is the size of Kansas. It is not at all sweet, and by going along with it you've set yourself up to basically be accepting of whatever crap she feels like dishing out with no accountability on her part. What's more, she knows it.

jessica.'s various posts
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+1, +2, and +3.

So basically, what everyone else said. Stand up for yourself and go live a little.
 
snberk103 said:
Hope you like being lonely in your old age. Your "strategies" may be successful in the short term with a certain type - but I can't see you building a long term relationship with a women that way.
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snberk103

That's the recipe for dating a lot. Once you enter a long term relationship things become a lot more complex but one thing remains clear. You must have good self image. The man that does well in a long term is the one that knows what things to capitulate on and what things to hold his ground on. Women do not want a doormat but they don't want emotional unavailable either.
 
uberamd said:
Because humans are, humans. They make mistakes. If everyone split after they said something bad to another person, nobody would be married and nobody would have any friends.
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Not true. Human beings make lots of mistakes, get angry irrationally, get drunk, high, depressed, screwed up, screwed around, screwed around on, screw around, and any number of other things, but that doesn't mean you can't go through life without saying "bad things" to important people.
Rodimus Prime said:
umm I will go with the fact that then you do not have some of the closes friendships in the world. Of my best friends I have said some pretty harsh things as they have to me as well.
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That's crap, Rodimus. I'm not going to sit here and get into a "my friends could beat up your friends" discussion, because that's ridiculous. However, I'm sure Leekohler will attest to you that I'm not afraid to pull someone aside and tell them that their behaviour is unacceptable. I don't know why the prevailing wisdom is "that will make you unpopular," because the truth is most people actually appreciate someone who is honest and willing to speak their mind and stand up for themselves — and others! — instead of just letting things slip and get swept under the rug. Little problems become big problems, unless you nip them in the bud.
 
nuckinfutz said:
snberk103

That's the recipe for dating a lot. Once you enter a long term relationship things become a lot more complex but one thing remains clear. You must have good self image. The man that does well in a long term is the one that knows what things to capitulate on and what things to hold his ground on. Women do not want a doormat but they don't want emotional unavailable either.
Click to expand...

I think you are confusing 'self-confident' and 'self-assured' with 'aggressive' and 'winning'. In a contest there is a winner and loser. It sounds like you need to 'win'. I don't think dating should be a contest with a winner and a loser. My way is not for everyone, but it works for me - and my wife. Not everyone is comfortable having an equal as a partner. But, if you are happy....
 
snberk103 said:
I think you are confusing 'self-confident' and 'self-assured' with 'aggressive' and 'winning'. In a contest there is a winner and loser. It sounds like you need to 'win'. I don't think dating should be a contest with a winner and a loser. My way is not for everyone, but it works for me - and my wife. Not everyone is comfortable having an equal as a partner. But, if you are happy....
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Self-assured
Aggressive
Winning

All positive attributes within many contexts. I'm happy that you've found "the one". That's the goal for many of us but I know that women feed on getting the "right" attention from the "right" guy.

I think we're trying to help the OP as much as we can even if that means telling him that his relationship may be over.
 
Iscariot said:
That's crap, Rodimus. I'm not going to sit here and get into a "my friends could beat up your friends" discussion, because that's ridiculous. However, I'm sure Leekohler will attest to you that I'm not afraid to pull someone aside and tell them that their behaviour is unacceptable. I don't know why the prevailing wisdom is "that will make you unpopular," because the truth is most people actually appreciate someone who is honest and willing to speak their mind and stand up for themselves — and others! — instead of just letting things slip and get swept under the rug. Little problems become big problems, unless you nip them in the bud.
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Well sorry. From your post that I quoted here is what I got.

Say one bad things or do one thing unacceptable then the relationship is over and one or the other does not deserve it.
From that is why I went directly after it because if that is some one standards I feel sorry for them because that means that it is hard to get close friends. I know I have done unacceptable behavior with some of my closes friends and yes even my GF. Do I feel guilty about it yes. But does not change the fact that we are still very close.
 
Sorry, dude. Sounds like it's over to me.

Maybe she is treating you badly so you dump her, instead of her dumping you.
 
SilentPanda said:
She didn't head off to Europe did she?
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Am sending to friends. The comments are equally bizarre.

Nobita said:
i think it is partly my fault as well for asking her to watch movie every weekend where she sometimes has exams/assignments to do.
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Seems you undervalue the extent of her workload. Sounds like she's taking her education very seriously and you don't respect that part of her. If that's where you are now, imagine how you'll feel once she's finished and it's her career she's taking seriously. Take a moment and decide if this is the right woman for you and, if so, learn to be more supportive of her goals and blend them into yours. If you aren't sure how to do that for her ask her - I'll put money she'll tell (maybe more than you'd expect).

Cheers! (Hope it turns out for the best, whatever that may be)
 
Boneoh said:
Sorry, dude. Sounds like it's over to me.

Maybe she is treating you badly so you dump her, instead of her dumping you.
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This is exactly it.

Your relationship is over, bail out now before you become more pathetic.

She will eventually end it, but you may as well get in there first, something along the lines of;

'I've know something's wrong but you don't wish to communicate, so this would be a prudent juncture to go our separate ways henceforth.'

Just text it.

If she's got anything valuable of yours get it first, then do this.

Next step, go out with the lads, if you feel a bit sad and like crying, go see some strippers.

There you go, sorted!
 
I had a broad do the same thing to me. Got all distant and weepy on me and then pulled away. I sat down and did the manly ****. I asked her to tell me what was wrong...she said "I've got to work on me before I can work on us"

I ain't into head cases so I dug a bit deeper and she was flirting 'round with other men online.

My bags were packed and I was Audi 5000 in a week.

I had another situation where I broke up with a gf right before her upcoming birthday. I went to her birthday alright ..in wrinkled clothes after bumping uglies with another gal right before. Sometimes the best way to get over someone is to get under another.
:p

dukebound85 said:
experience

its over

if they dont bother returning alls or texts and not talking to you, its most definitly over

need space = preemptive breakup
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+1

If a female doesn't return 3 straight calls she's not getting a 4th. My time is precious too.
 
dukebound85 said:
experience

its over

if they dont bother returning alls or texts and not talking to you, its most definitly over

need space = preemptive breakup
Click to expand...

Yes but from experience you can get medicine A because you have the same symptoms with your neighbor. But having the same symptoms doesn't mean that you have the same decease right? So a medicine B would be more appropriate.

There are times that i ask from my GF to give me space because sometimes she "grips" on me. But i've never told her that by thinking the possibility to end things up with her. We have been together for 2 years now. It's very common one of two or even both to need their own space. I'm saying all this not to argue with you but to show the op that there is another side that is equally possible with the first side. We know nothing about them so everything is possible. :)
 
OP said:
we had dinner with friends just now and she talks to her friends, but she didn't talk to me much. after everyone left, she just didn't say anything to me. i told her i love her but she just nodded (usually she'll say i love you too).
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Says it all. She's either pissed off ...or done.
 
Sounds pissed off to me. Why bother go out on a dinner with him if she wanted to brake up with him? To eat for free? :p (well now that i think of, it is a possibility:p JK)
 
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