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Age Difference
- Thread starter Spock
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assuming that 17 is the age of consent then all you have to deal with is how mature is each party is and weather or not they can handle the relationship. in 4 years, when she is 21 and he is 25 it isn't that big a deal. girls tend to be more mature than guys. although, i would say people that grew up in america that are between 17-22 are still pretty ignorant about life; so don't hold your breath.
Although it's only a difference of 4 years, a 21 year old is more advanced in life than a 17 year old. Basically, it's a drinking-aged college grad versus a high schooler. When I was 21, I had no interest in even talking to a high schooler, let alone dating them. It sounds like there's some arrested development going on.
well, it have to base on the maturity of both person... being 17, I know that lots of people this age are just kids but think they know everything... thanks to my parents, I have become independent at a very young age [they have been sending me abroad ever since I was 10]... sometimes I think I think I'm mature enough for anything but it takes things like needing a guardian in Italy so I can go to university there to remind me I'm still a kid 
[I like being a kid... ^__^] So if you see any suspicious acts on the part of the guy or if he has any bad influence on her, it's time to remind her she's still a kid and you might know more and have reasons to discourage it...
[I like being a kid... ^__^] So if you see any suspicious acts on the part of the guy or if he has any bad influence on her, it's time to remind her she's still a kid and you might know more and have reasons to discourage it...
It's not too bad a problem, just remember that the 21 year old is likely to want a "mature" relationship and if the 17 year old is not up to it then the 17 year old should end the relationship. Just cause they're older it doesn't make them a better partner.
A 21 year old guy can be super horny and he has the means to fill out those needs without requiring a tube of grease, a magazine or dvd rentals. A 17-year old girl is on the cusps of legalized carnal womanhood -- put those two types of people together and its an explosive mix.
OnceUGoMac said:
Exactly.
The difference between a 17 and 21 year old is usually huge, whereas the difference between a 21 and 25 year old is usually much less.
I know that many of you will say it's a matter of maturity, but very rarely have I ever met a 17 year old mature enough to seriously date a 21 year old, regardless of whether the girl is older, or the guy is older. If a 17 year old is mature enough to date a 21 year old, either the 17 year old is very mature, the 21 year old is immature, or a combination of the two.
Either way, I think its accurate for me to say that the biggest change I have experienced as a person happened between the ages of 19-22, so this 4 year difference is massive, IMO.
MrSmith said:Wait till you're 40
That reply provided a laugh because with each decade there are shifting views of every issue that a person had to deal with in life. Back to the question posed: I believe that there is a real difference in maturity and readiness between 17 and 21 year olds.
As others mentioned, that gap basically vanishes in 4 or 5 years. There are doubtless plenty of times in which parties that age have established a relationship and had it become long-term, but I have a degree of real skepticism. Despite decent intentions, it can be tough dealing with issues that arise ... especially for the girl.
I once dated a woman 13 years younger - it was tough sometimes to relate to what was important to each other.
However, 4 years is nothing, really. The biggest issue is school and going out for a drink. It would be a bit awkward going to a bar or party with someone who is at a different stage of life. If you can get over that, its fine. Basically its going to depend on the individuals involved.
D
However, 4 years is nothing, really. The biggest issue is school and going out for a drink. It would be a bit awkward going to a bar or party with someone who is at a different stage of life. If you can get over that, its fine. Basically its going to depend on the individuals involved.
D
21 and 17 is a huge difference.
41 and 37 wouldn't be... it's all relative (ha- bad pun, you said it was a fam issue )
41 and 37 wouldn't be... it's all relative (ha- bad pun, you said it was a fam issue
)
Abstract said:
Same here.. the end of college was huge for me.
The same with the prior 4 years though.
And the most recent 4 years.
Either way, she's 17 years old. Assuming you're talking about a relationship... don't kid yourself. She's a child. There is no way she's ready for the long term type of stuff that this level of drama is depicting.
I agree, 4 years is absolutely nothing... in general. It all depends on the parties involved.
My wife's cousin dated, and actually just got engaged to someone 12-13 years older than her (they started dating when she was 18, he was 30... try that one on for size!).
I also know two people, though not 4 years apart, were dating while one was still in highschool (for a couple years) and the other in college.
My wife's cousin dated, and actually just got engaged to someone 12-13 years older than her (they started dating when she was 18, he was 30... try that one on for size!).
I also know two people, though not 4 years apart, were dating while one was still in highschool (for a couple years) and the other in college.
It all depends on the girl. If she's mature enough, then it's fine. Right now I'm 19 and dating a 16 year-old girl (well, she's almost 17), and although sometimes the whole college/high school difference is apparent, it isn't really a big deal because she can handle it.
I guess it also depends on the guy, too. If he's just after sex, it's a problem. Just look at the two people and see what they want out of the relationship. If they are seriously interested in each other for a serious relationship, then it's fine. If the guy is just after sex or is taking advantage of the girl's age, or if the girl is just after the "glamor" or dating a college guy, then it's no good.
I guess it also depends on the guy, too. If he's just after sex, it's a problem. Just look at the two people and see what they want out of the relationship. If they are seriously interested in each other for a serious relationship, then it's fine. If the guy is just after sex or is taking advantage of the girl's age, or if the girl is just after the "glamor" or dating a college guy, then it's no good.
Without details, the question doesn't really work. There's nothing categorical about 21/17. It depends on the people, what they are doing with their lives, their maturity, their mutual intentions, and so on.
4 years is a HUGE difference at this early point in your lives. For example, a 17 year old may not have finished high school, and a 21 year is poised to finish college. That alone sounds like a huge difference to me.. extrapolate life experiences from there as you will.
Later on in life (late 20s, early 30s), 4 years doesn't mean a thing.
Later on in life (late 20s, early 30s), 4 years doesn't mean a thing.
I'm guessing you're in the US as 21/17 wouldn't be unusual here and certainly not weird.
I know when I was 17 Id have had no problem with a 21year old partner and vice-versa.
Im in my very late 20s now and if I was on the market wouldnt turn down a 17year old on age alone.
I know when I was 17 Id have had no problem with a 21year old partner and vice-versa.
Im in my very late 20s now and if I was on the market wouldnt turn down a 17year old on age alone.