Age Difference

[Golden_315]

Soooo... all of you who say it's OK and age doesn't matter.

Stop for a second and think really hard on this:

You'd let your 17 year old daughter date a 21 year old? You'd have NO reservations at all? None?

Well to be honest if I had a daughter i'd be nervous no matter whom she dates. but to be fair the old you are the more mature you are...usually. I'd rather he date someone 21 than someone 15-16. I know what it's like to be a 15 year old guy. Hell 18 isn't a whole lot diffrent. Sex, sex, sex. I'd be fine with it as long as he didn't pus hher to do anyhting.

 

[adroit]

remember the rule

divide your age in half and add 7 that is the rule for the youngest you can date

as for right now i am with someone that is 26 and i am 20

Heard of that rule before.

But I think 18/23 sounds a lot more acceptable than 17/21 even if it doesn't follow the rule.

But then again, I really think that it depends on the maturity level of each couple.

 

[jsw]

According to this rule, too young until Monday

Then I anticipate a complete lack of posts of any sort from either of you next Monday.

 

[jsw]

remember the rule

divide your age in half and add 7 that is the rule for the youngest you can date

as for right now i am with someone that is 26 and i am 20

Hence, no one under the age of 14 can date.

I will keep this rule in mind when my daughters want to start dating... which is hopefully a number of years off.

 

[Macaddicttt]

Soooo... all of you who say it's OK and age doesn't matter.

Stop for a second and think really hard on this:

You'd let your 17 year old daughter date a 21 year old? You'd have NO reservations at all? None?

It depends all on the the people. I'm 19 and dating a 16 year old (almost 17). We started dating when I was 18 and she was 15. Her parents have absolutely no problems with it because they know me well enough and they trust me with her. They even made condoms available to her (even though we're both planning on waiting until marriage). The point is, her parents know me and trust me to take good care of their daughter. It really all depends on the people. I don't see why everyone is so hung up on ages. Sure, ages might raise some eyebrows and get people thinking that they are in different stages of life and that there are suspect motives, and those suspicions might be totally justified, but you can't say anything about the acceptability of a relationship only based on ages.

 

[efoto]

Damn you and your vague sexual descriptions! I will find out! I'll do it if it kills me!..or efoto, whichever comes first.

Wait, you're going to *gulp* kill me!?






()

I've heard this rule mentioned before, but it depends more on the personalities and specific people in the relationship than the ages. Younger has been established as a harder feat which I would tend to agree with, but the meshing of personalities is much more important in the long run.

If/when I have a daughter(s) I would be very concerned/interested/protective of who she was dating or wanted to date....but age would be less of a concern as who I thought was good for her (given a certain starting point of course). Once she is 27, I'll let her start to choose her own men

It depends all on the the people. I'm 19 and dating a 16 year old (almost 17). We started dating when I was 18 and she was 15. Her parents have absolutely no problems with it because they know me well enough and they trust me with her. They even made condoms available to her (even though we're both planning on waiting until marriage)....

Part of that comfort is knowing you first, part of it is that you are not yet 21. Seriously, once that age hits and 'options' become available, I think something switches in a parent's mind even in the 21 year old hasn't changed outlook at all. I wouldn't want my 17/18 year old daughter dating a 21 year old male, but that's could just be me. It's amazing how it 'sounds' too, 18/21 'sounds' worse than 21/24 even though the gap is constant....damn socially acceptable norms.

 

[rickvanr]

From personal experience during high school 2 years was ok, but 3 years was kind of taboo. But that was high school. 21 and 17 is kind of pushing it in my eyes, but as long as both can handle it, and aren't ridiculous immature people it should be fine. I agree with others though, 4 years when you're 17 is a much bigger deal then when you're 21.

 

[Lord Blackadder]

In my opinion people experience a great deal of emotional development between the ages of 17 and 21, and the 17-year old you started dating might not be quite the same as the 21-year old they end up becoming a few years later.

It isn't necessarily a bad idea but most relationships bridging the teens and twenties need to be pretty elastic - it's a time in life when people make some basic career choices that might be negatively affected by a dynamic relationship.

 

[AllieNeko]

What about 29 and 17? (My grandparents when they got married... 28 and 16 when they started dating). Or 28 and 20 (my parents). And I'm 21 and yeah... my big crush (we're not "dating" because of our religious beliefs) is 16.

That age difference is absolutely NOTHING as long as you don't do something stupid like have sex with her before you get married (or at least before she's 18...)

 

[edesignuk]

How old is edesignuk, anyway?

Who wants to know? *cough* profile *cough*

He's not quite old enough, I believe...

We'll see about that

According to this rule, too young until Monday

 

[Lau]

Who wants to know? *cough* profile *cough*

Yeah, but if I'd done that, I couldn't have made a sarky comment, you see?

 

[Abstract]

(My grandparents when they got married... 28 and 16 when they started dating). Or 28 and 20 (my parents). And I'm 21 and yeah... my big crush (we're not "dating" because of our religious beliefs) is 16.

What a 28 year old man (and I'm assuming he's the one that's older) finds interesting in a 16 year old "girl".......well.......it's probably not hard to explain. When I was 23 I worked in a store to save enough money to go to Uni in Oz. I worked with people younger than me.....usually part-timers......and some of them were 16. One of them was very very hot and she had a crush on me. I couldn't blame her...... I mean, c'mon! *kisses right bicep* However, I just couldn't see how I could possibly date someone like her, and it wasn't just because of her personality. It just seemed like I have lived so much more "life" than her.

Not saying that it didn't work out for your grandparents, because it obviously did, but when you consider the large majority of the population, 28 year olds and 16 year olds shouldn't date each other. Your grandparents were the exception rather than the rule. Of course some of these couples will be successful.

 

[Abstract]

Age difference of 4 or 8 years apart is my rule.

So if a guy is 28, he matches well with a girl aged 24 or 20. Or 32, if he likes older women.

Such as, 22 and 18 work well.

Dude, did you just totally make that up? That's so random.

 

[yellow]

A couple posts in here made me think of WV hillbillies. Thanks for that.

 

[IJ Reilly]

My wife is significantly older than me. We've been together for over 25 years; not only that, we run a business together at home. I was fairly self-conscious about the age difference when I was younger but I kind of developed the "screw 'em" attitude about people who thought this was an odd relationship. We've certain proved wrong anyone who thought it couldn't last. I have definitely learned that successful relationships are not about chronology.

That being said, I'd worry at least a little about any 17-year-old getting into a serious relationship. Very few people that age have the emotional maturity required to make it work.

 

[efoto]

That being said, I'd worry at least a little about any 17-year-old getting into a serious relationship. Very few people that age have the emotional maturity required to make it work.

The other issue I see is that people develop a lot between the ages of 16 and 21, many even longer, before they start to settle in to the person they will be for the rest of their life. A lot of changes are taking place during those ages, but to the body (iggidy giggidy ) and to the mind and personality of each individual.

I went to a HS that was a direct feeder to a local college. 80% + went to that college and they still seem to be in HS to myself and others who have gone out on our own, different colleges, etc. There is nothing wrong with doing what so many of those people did however it seems to me that they have not developed as their own person (in most cases) and their HS clicks are still very much intact. They develop as a group and not individually, which leads me to wonder what happens when college is over and they have to go function independently when all they have known for the last 8 years has been their group.

It's fine for any age to date, assuming both parties realize the social differences of mass gaps and are willing to deal with them. The issue I see comes with developing 'together' and not uniquely your own. Although some would say it makes your bond very strong, which it would tend to do, it can also shut off your bond to others. I'd say go for it, but have an open enough relationship that you are free to interact and grow with others just as much, or more, as you do with your significant friend/other. After all you only develop this stage of your life once, you'd hate to have that completely dependent on another being because as much as you believe it's forever now, things have a way of changing in the future. Go for it, just go with your eyes wide open.